My First Book: The Doctor's Little Girl

Over the past several months, I wrote my first book. It's spanking erotica, with a mix of romance, ageplay (DD/lg) and medical play themes. It's called "The Doctor's Little Girl" and it was released today by Stormy Night Publications. 

Writing my first spanking book was a serious undertaking. I'm fortunate that my experience in college taught me how to sit still and work on something for hours on end with my feet propped up and an ever growing pile of empty energy drinks and candy wrappers on the ground next to me. I did most of the writing before Paul left to go back to England, and I was lucky to have someone so supportive there "encouraging" me to keep going, to focus and not to get frustrated and give up on myself.

Although I  have a lot of writing experience, this was my first manuscript of any real length. It was definitely challenging. Mostly, I was daunted by the task. Throughout my whole life I'd imagined that I would write books, and I had talked about doing this one for a long time before I actually started. I'm so grateful for the support that my publishers, friends and scene-family gave to me throughout the writing process.

Check out the amazing cover that Korey Mae Johnson (co-owner of Stormy Night and a very good friend of mine) created for my book:

Here's the summary:

"After losing yet another job, twenty-year-old Molly Parker wonders whether failure and sadness are her lot in life. Her last hope lies in Dr. Andrew Harrington, the handsome physician who witnessed a courageous act of kindness on her part and then offered her a job. But Molly can’t help worrying that she’ll lose this job too, just like all the others… 
From the moment he set eyes on her, Andrew knew there was something special about Molly—special enough for him to bring her halfway across the country and give her a job at his practice and a room in his home—but it soon becomes clear that she will be a handful. When it seems that her poor attitude at work will leave him no choice but to fire her, he makes a bold decision and gives Molly exactly what she needs: a long, hard, bare-bottom spanking.  

Nobody has ever cared enough about Molly to correct her before, let alone take her in hand so completely, and soon enough she is cuddling in Andrew’s lap and calling him daddy. It will take more than one trip over Andrew’s knee to cure her bad habits, though, and discipline at a doctor’s office can leave a naughty little girl blushing bright red before her real punishment even begins. But can Andrew really give Molly what she has always longed for, or will he eventually give up on her like everyone else?  

Publisher’s Note: The Doctor’s Little Girl is an erotic romance novel that contains spankings, sexual scenes, age play, medical play, anal play, and more. If such material offends you, please don’t buy this book." 

Want a little more than that? Here's an excerpt from the book:

“Show me where you keep your pajamas,” he instructed.

Molly silently pointed to one of the drawers in the bureau near the window. Andrew got up and opened the drawer. Things were stuffed into it instead of being folded, but Andrew knew that now was not the right time to call her out on that. Instead he sifted through the drawer until he found a pair of cute, girlish pajamas: pink polka-dotted shorts with lace trim and a white tank top. He set them on the bed and gestured for Molly to stand up. She did what he wanted her to, and Andrew stood her in front of him, taking a moment to look at her. He looked at her big eyes and her delicate, innocent features, then let his gaze move down to her body. She was absolutely adorable. There was just no denying this. Slowly and calmly, he began to unbutton the buttons on her blouse.

“What are you doing?” she asked. She didn’t sound worried, but simply curious, maybe intrigued by the proceedings.

“I’m getting my little girl ready for bed,” he told her. He finished undoing her buttons and then pulled her blouse off her shoulders, sliding it off her arms and then setting it aside. It revealed an off-white bra. It was simple and unpadded, more for modesty than anything else. Her perky breasts held themselves up, capturing Andrew’s attention through the soft cotton fabric. He reached behind Molly’s back and, with a practiced maneuver, unhooked her bra with one hand. Molly began to blush furiously. It was adorable to watch the redness bloom on her face, originating around her cheeks and spreading across her nose and ears. He smiled boldly, and gently brushed the tip of her nose with one finger. 

He pulled the bra all the way off and set it with her shirt, then reached back and unzipped her skirt. The pencil skirts that Rebecca had picked out for Molly were professional, but because of the roundness of Molly’s backside, they clung to her, captivating Andrew’s eyes as she wandered around the office or house. Now that he had seen her bottom bare and red, the thought was never far from his mind. It took a little effort to wiggle the skirt over her butt, and Molly assisted him a little, swaying from side to side to encourage the fabric downwards. 

Soon, Molly was standing before him only in her panties. Andrew gently rubbed her back for a second, feeling her smooth, milky skin. He looked at her panties. They were pale purple with white polka dots, and Molly looked sweet and innocent wearing them, but it was time for them to come off. He pulled them down and she instinctively stepped out of them. Her coyness and obedience, combined with her lithe, nude form, made his cock grow hard. 

“Good girl,” he praised and Molly smiled slightly through her embarrassment. Andrew took a step back to enjoy the view, noticing that although it was warm in the room, Molly’s peachy nipples were rock hard. He was surprised to see that she didn’t try to cover herself with her hands. Instead, she kept them obediently at her sides, with only the flush on her face showing how much it embarrassed her to be stripped nude like this. “How does it feel to be naked in front of me?” Andrew asked. 

Molly bit her lip, as if she was thinking of the right answer. “Vulnerable,” she finally said. 

“Vulnerable,” Andrew repeated. “I like that answer. Are you embarrassed that I can see you?” he inquired. 

Molly nodded. 

“You’re mine to look at, little girl,” he told her. “I told you you were my little girl, and I meant it.” 

The book is chock full of the usual spankings that, if you read this blog, you'll come to expect from me. It also includes other fantasies of mine that I haven't always shared so openly, like some of the ageplay aspects and the medical play. While some parts of the book are inspired by my real life experiences, a lot of it comes from my imagination: specifically, from what my imagination comes up with when I have one hand down my pants.

I really, really hope that some of you guys will grab a copy. It's an e-book, so if you're confused by this feel free to let me know and I'll help you figure it out. It's also less than $5, so I personally think that's a great deal. If you're able to help me spread the word that I've written a book, I would also love that. The support you guys give me means so much to me.

By the way, you can now like me and my blog on Facebook if you are so incline. I'll be posting updates and other interesting stuff there.

❤︎ 

Shoot Report: Nimue's World

The day after filming for Dreams of Spanking, Nimue, Pandora and I got up and got ready for another day of adventures in pornography: this time for Nimue's World. In case you aren't familiar with the site, Nimue's World is a mixed fetish site with quite a bit of spanking content. It has other BDSM stuff, bondage, exhibitionism, girl sex and other good stuff mixed in, too. I honestly didn't know a lot about the site before Nimue asked me to shoot for it. I just knew that Pandora had filmed for it previously. I looked at a lot of the preview materials before shooting, though, and decided that I liked the feel of it. It seems to emphasize the feeling of playtime, and it's often very visually obvious to me that the people filming on the site like each other (sometimes, for some of the more horrible stuff, there's a behind the scenes clip to make this more obvious) and I find that very comforting. As a model, it's important to my content-viewing-enjoyment to feel that a site is overall positive about itself, its content and its cast, and I certainly got this vibe the first time that I viewed Nimue's site.

Nimue and I filmed two videos and did three photosets. The first scene was one that Nimue wrote based on some of my preferences that I told her about during our pre-shooting email exchanges. Specifically, I told her that I like force, roughness and clothes ripping. I don't think that these are things that people tend to associate with me, so I'm going to diverge for a minute here.

My primary, ideal kink scene is something that I think everyone who has read this blog for more than five minutes can probably identify: I like pretty domestic spanking scenes that mix affection, trust, vulnerability and physical intensity more than I like anything else. That's at the very heart of my kink experience. All of the scenes that I'm interested in doing involve spanking in some way (or, for those who don't consider it the same thing, involve beating me on the thighs. That's nearly as important to my kink as traditional spanking is). There are a ton of other "kinds" of spanking scenes that also appeal to me, though. Role-play scenes. Ridiculous scenes. Super formal things. I like lots of variety, but for a long time, I was hesitant to explore physically rougher (in terms of handling) and emotionally darker scenes. At some point fairly recently, some switch flipped and I discovered that I found this to be delightful. I started testing the water with slightly less emotionally comfortable stuff from time to time, and it exhilarated me. This is a theme that I'll discuss at more length later in my narrative, because there's an episode in which it's more relevant, but for now, I came up with the idea of having my clothes all ripped off and I was excited that Nimue included it.

I like this (in an obviously consensual environment) because it feels like it's high on the scale of roughness, impatient, horrible, rapey. The scene that Nimue wrote was a bullying one, and I like that, too. It's a scenario I've only ever explored during videos (well, on the receiving end, anyway. There are certain individuals who might claim that I am occasionally a bully to Mila). It works out pretty well for me, though. It allows me to play with my peers in a way that's rough but which makes logical sense as to why the authority is set up. I like it because the authority is set up by force. That's the name of the game. Nimue's bullying scene set us at school. She was dressed in uniform, but because it was my first day, I just had on a dress and knee socks. I hadn't received my uniform yet. Nimue told me to go get her book that she'd forgotten but needed for class, as part of the fine tradition of older, more experienced students bossing newbs around. I refused, unaware of said traditions. Nimue responded by bringing it: she pulled me to the floor by her hair, wrestled around with me, shoved me, ripped my dress off (it ripped gloriously, like it was designed to be torn off. It was kind of epic) and then started to slap me around. She spanked me, including doing it in very non-traditional positions and she rolled me over and slapped me on the breasts. This was pre-negotiated, although I'd never done it before.

Holy. Shit. That hurt.

It was a humbling experience to be hit in a way that was totally different than what I was used to and what fit into my kink picture. I often see myself as being a pretty heavy player. I've taken some epic beatings in my day. When I'm well, in a secure environment and playing with someone I love, I've never actually found an upper limit of what I can tolerate in terms of spanking. This reminded me that I'm not actually all that physically tough: I'm just good at taking spankings. As odd as it may sound, it felt really nice and refreshing to be reminded of that. It made me tremendously vulnerable, but I felt safe and trusting towards everyone who was around me. But every slap, even though entirely not hard compared to what I was used to, took my breath away. I was shocked by how much it hurt. That section was mercifully short, though, and we returned to things I could take properly. The whole scene ended up being really hot, and chock full of the kind of awful that I've come to adore.



The second thing we shot was a bondage photoset. Nimue did a wonderful job tying me, and I like the way the photos came out. It was Nim's idea that I wear my glasses for it and I liked the look: super dorky naked girl all tied up. What's not to love? Pandora did the photography, and I think she did a lovely job as well.

Following this, we moved into the bedroom to do a wonderfully sexy film entitled "Best Girlfriend Ever." This film has me and Pandora together, with her as my Domly girlfriend. I've decided to experiment with self-bondage and have gotten myself trapped in a very vulnerable position-- with my feet up, basically in a diaper position.

Pandora comes in and catches me and chastises me for not being safe, as well as for keeping my desires to experiment with bondage to myself instead of asking her to tie me up. I try to explain that I was doing it to surprise her. She responds by spanking me with her hand and then a leather paddle, and also gives me a number of slaps on my breasts while they're bound in a rope harness. In my opinion, Pandora made this scene crazily hot. There's a lot of sexual energy between us in the film (and it's genuine, she and I are involved off camera) and it's really wonderful. I'm going to eventually write about the way that my relationship between kink and sexuality has evolved (and the ways in which it hasn't changed at all) since I haven't really addressed that recently, but let's just say I enjoyed doing this. :)



Our next project was a photo set in which I got to wear my fabulous bunny romper (a gift from my scene sister Betty Crocker) again. In this scene, Nimue brushed and braided my hair while I threw a tantrum about it, resulting in me experiencing the far less pleasant side of the hairbrush. I'm not going to lie: throwing a tantrum while someone is playing with my hair is counter intuitive. I love having my hair touched in just about any way: tender playing, brushing, rough horribleness, it all works for me. I had to think of all sorts of horribly unfair things in order to inspire my tantrumy faces.

 I think that these pictures are incredibly sweet and adorable. How can you not say "Awww?"

The final thing we did was a stripping photoset, which Nimue suggested that we do outside. I agreed to this, although I made her shoot it pretty quickly because fuck being cold. I do like being naked in the outdoors, although I didn't enjoy it as much as I would have it the weather had been warm. Nimue was pretty effective with it, and I tried my best to do minimal whining. :P

That was the end of the day's work. All of the sets have been put up on Nimue's World, so I recommend checking them out. I've watched them all at least a couple of times, as well as having perved on a bunch of the other content on her site, especially her spanking content. It's good stuff. I like Nimue a lot, and I hope to film with her again in the future. ♥

Shoot Report: Dreams of Spanking

After the adventures involved in my last post, Pandora Blake, Thomas Cameron, Nimue Allen and I prepared for a day of shooting for Dreams of Spanking. Dreams of Spanking is one of my favorite spanking sites. This was my second shoot for it, and my first "full" one. We'd only done a couple of scenes in the past, during the Texas All State Spanking Party last year. I was excited to get to do some more involved scenes, including some with interesting costumes and sets. Nimue wasn't in any of the scenes: she was doing the camera work and other production elements, and we were filming for her site, Nimue's World, the next day.

The first film that we shot was loosely based on our real life behavior the first night I arrived at Pandora's house: we were meant to go to sleep, but instead we kept staying up and talking and giggling loudly. This scene also prominently featured our stuffed animals, who were the ones keeping us up and making all the noise in the first place (or so we insisted). Tom played a kind enough but stern guardian figure who was pretty annoyed by our insistance on being noisy, and spanked and strapped both of us in the morning. We tried to get our punishment lessened by wearing adorable, matching cat underwear, but as is usually the case with these things, this was entirely unsuccessful. I really like the stills I've seen from this set (all previews, since it is as of yet not released) because of how aesthetically pleasing I find Pandora and I when we're naked together. We have very similar shapes, and I think that looks great.

There's a lot of matching in this photo

The second film that we did was interesting because it used creative camera work and had a unique point of concept. This video is currently available on Dreams, and's called "Alex's POV." It features a lot of shots which show what I can see during the spanking: shots taken as I turn over my shoulder and my own view of my bottom in a mirror propped up near us. This scene was great to film, because our characters were very nearly ourselves, and that's always a relaxed environment for me. I also like it because it's fairly physically intense while still being entirely done with Tom's hand: hard hand spanking is always a winning combination in my book. Furthermore, there was something sweet about the scenario: in some ways, it was similar to the spanking that Pandora had given me in my real life the night before: in the film, Tom suggests that a spanking would make me feel better about my less than ideal behavior while I was overseas. He's not meant to be my Dominant, just an affectionate friend who is stepping up and filling that role while no one else was around to. It was lovely to be able to watch the spanking in the mirror: that made it much more intense for me. You can read Pandora's writing about this film here.

Watching this movie after the fact, I was pretty pleased with the way that this captured the actual experience of the spanking. It was the video that I've watched myself in which was closest to my actual memory of the event. It also had a very intimate feeling surrounding it.

The next thing that we shot was a photoset to celebrate the Pagan holiday Beltane, or the rites of spring. This involved Pandora dressing me in a beautiful period costume and the use of lots of props, including real mead in the horn. I got to wear flowers in my hair and I loved my outfit, so it very much appealed to the "dressing up to make a fantasy real" side of things. The unfortunate part of this, though, was that it was March in England, which isn't a time when the weather is nice. It was grey and rainy out, and being outdoors with my shoes off and my skirt lifted wasn't exactly warm. In case I haven't complained about this enough on my blog, I don't enjoy being cold, or undressed in the cold, or getting hit with things in the cold. Still, I liked the idea enough that I soldiered on with it (no one forced me to go out and do it: I just got thru it by complaining a lot because I did actually want to). These pictures came out beautifully, and I love looking at them. These are my two favorites.

I think that whole set is just beautiful, and I was excited to do my first historical shoot.

I then had to get warm, because I was quite chilled, so we came inside and I put a bunch of fluffy things on above my costume:

Oh hey, I'm never ridiculous! Ha. 

The next set that we filmed is, as of yet, unreleased, but it was really hot. I mentioned to Pandora during the creative process that I was getting really into doing dark, awful and non-consensual scenes. This is something I'll talk about more later, as it's been part of the shift that's happened in terms of me accepting what a huge variety of things I like in the scene. Pandora and I then started scheming up a darker scene, and the one we came up with involved me as a journalist about to blow the whistle on some unethical behavior being tormented by two quite villainous corporate figures: Tom and Pandora. I liked the awfulness of the film. It was just hot. I got to genuinely crying pretty quickly, especially when they co-topped me.

Poor me!

Here's a photo of me having been spanked, in heels, stockings and a "suspender belt". You're welcome.

The next scene was one of the most hilarious ones to film in my personal history as a spanking model. The plot was simple and based on Pandora's real life: I played a character based on Pandora who is keeping a cat in her apartment against the terms of her lease. The landlady comes by to check up, and I hurriedly rush the cat into the bathroom and shut the door. Unfortunately, I leave a toy mouse under the pillow (and Fatface has shed everywhere) and the clever landlady (played by Pandora) figures out my scheme and responds with a spanking. This ended up being so funny because I actually had to cart Pandora's cat (aka the love of my life) around for the video. I have trouble sometimes because many of the photographers that I've worked with in the past have directed me to look directly into the camera instead of looking past it, or making eye-contact with someone else in the frame, et cetera. Most spanking producers don't want this: they want things to look more natural. I've tried to train myself to look in the places that look the best on film, but I often still forget. "Don't look into the camera, Alex!" Pandora reminded me as we were shooting the stills for this set.

Fatface gives 0 fucks about your directions.

I laughed so goddamn hard at the way that cat stared down the camera. I still LOL when I see this picture months later. It's just way too funny. The first time we saw this, Pandora, Nimue and I laughed until tears were literally rolling down our faces. Here's another angle:

Fuck you, guys.

The actual spanking was a bit neat, since we used one of my personal implements. This was the first time I've ever done this on film, and in this case, it was the wooden spoon called "Warren" which is part of the "Trinity of Terror" (or, the three worst things I get hit with on a regular basis). There was something personal and kind of exciting about this.

Pandora is so freaking hot. 

We wrapped up the day's filming with another one of the best things I've ever been involved in, in and out of a spanking video: #sofafort. We built the best softafort ever made in Pandora's living room. The shape of her couch made it much easier than it could have been, since it's a sectional. We covered it with blankets and propped the middle up with a broom. It looked incredibly fucking awesome.

We then filmed an adorable ageplay video inside and around it, where Pandora and I are dressed in cute pajamas (I'm in my bunny romper and she's in my bunny pajamas, because we needed a lot of pink bunny stuff and therefore looked to my wardrobe :D). We actually filmed INSIDE the sofa fort, including Pandora spanking me as sort of play acting, and then Tom coming in and finding that we've built a fort instead of tidying up for company and discipling us while bent over the fort with a pair of pretty hard hairbrush spankings. It stung like a son of a bitch, and I kicked and wailed in a pretty pathetic manner. We were then told that we had to dismantle the fort and get ready for company. Sad. Day.

After we finished filming Tom had to go, but Nimue was spending the night so we left the fort up for a while and hung out inside, talking and snacking on chips and hummus. Then we had some cider and filmed our video blog. It was an awesome day. :D