Product Review: Paddles and Panties

The story of some of the ridiculous things that have happened recently and which have prevented me from attending to my blog as thoroughly as I would like to shall be appearing soon. It's more important to me to get this post up, first, and then chatter on about myself. Not like I won't be chattering on in this post, but, you know!

I love underpants. I love them far too much. I like plain ones and lacy ones, cute ones and crazy ones and everything in between. One thing I had never had, however, were spanking related panties. The closest thing that I had were my "GUILTY" panties from my shoot with Spanking Court, which I absolutely love.

When I was given these at Spanking Court, I asked Katerina where they came from. She directed me to her site, Paddles and Panties, where I proceeded to oogle over just about everything. The idea of selling implements and underpants in the same place is so perfect. I'm far too fond of obtaining both of those things.

Paddles and Panties is great for several reasons, besides basically being one-stop-shopping for spankos. They offer a series of underpants with cute, spanking related sayings on the butt, and I'm happy to report that they don't discriminate. They are available for men and in female plus sizes as well as standard female sizing. The panties themselves are well made and fit comfortably, and the text is screen-printed on in a way that looks great and holds up well to washing. I can't say anything about dryers, though, since I hang all my underwear to dry.

The phrases available are cute and witty, and since they're made up by a spanko, they're things that many of us will relate to. :)

"Paddled to Perfection"

The phrases are in a variety of fonts and colors, which mixes things up quite a bit.

I'm personally very into wearing these panties to work under my regular clothes. It makes me feel the same sort of "getting away with something secret" feeling that I get when I'm hiding bruises under my skirt!

"Seat of Education"

These are also sure to be hits at spanking parties, and make for a fun "reveal" when you pull your pants down or raise your skirt to reveal the message!

"100% Spankable" (I'll replace this with a better photo once I get some help: taking photos of your own butt is hard!)

I have had a chance to be spanked with several of the implements sold on their site, as well, and they're quality stuff. I'm most familiar with their wooden pieces, and they really sting a lot! I also discovered that the horrible black spoon which Dana Kane spanked us Sternwood Girls with comes from them! That was an unforgettable implement. It was one of the worst spoons ever (pretty much only topped by "Ben"). You can pick that up if you really want to teach someone a lesson or eight!

They also have this fun thing called "Spanko Lotto" which is basically a scratch off lottery card for spanking! You pick a box and it tells you how many swats and with what implement you are to be spanked. It's a fun little thing and really adorable.

I recommend that you check their site out and pick up one or two items that catch your eye. They're run by awesome people who are offering a unique and well made product. I give them my highest "marks." :P

Welcome to Sternwood Academy!

I haven't had a whole lot going on recently (as mentioned in my previous post). This is largely due to some health issues and other personal stressors that have been present in my life recently. Bit by bit, those things have been getting squared away and I'm back to feeling like myself on a daily basis and doing those cool human things like eating, sleeping and not feeling sick. w00t.

The level of excitement rose rather greatly, though, because Heather and I left for Northern California to do a shoot for Spanking Court's new project: Sternwood Academy. The traveling wasn't entirely easy: we weren't able to get any sort of direct flight from South Dakota to NorCal so we ended up zigzagging around the country a bit, but I was very glad to have Heather with me on my three flights. As is often the case, having her around made something that might be a bit of a drag into a good time.

We arrived in Reno and got picked up and driven to studio in Lake Tahoe. I met two of the other models that I was working with this weekend, Cheyenne Jewel and Ela Darling in the car. They're both super sweet and a lot of fun to hang out with. I knew that Ela and were a good match when we were talking about how to cry on command and she said that she just needed to think about Snape and Lily.

I honesty don't think/talk about this very much because it chokes me up so much.

Then she showed me this video and I was smitten. :D I could really go on about how I think that everything about Ela's brain is sexy, but I think you guys get it.

Getting into my uniform for the shoot was one of the most exciting moments of my life. I know it sounds stupid, but a world which combines formality, academia, cuteness and spanking is pretty much a world that was built for me. It's true: when I got dressed, Dana Kane told me that I was born to wear the uniform.

Heather and I in our messy dorm room!

I've worn lots and lots of school uniforms before, mostly ones that I've assembled piece by piece from things I found online or at the thrift store, but being twinsies with a bunch of other smart, beautiful women was just over the top awesome.

The weekend was A LOT of shooting. This isn't a problem for me because the point at which I get burned out from being spanked too much is something that scientists can only theorize about. I actually ended up creating an extra scene in which I get spanked with Katerina of Spanking Ms. Cali after class because I've always wanted to be spanked with her ever since I first met her at Spanking Court. That was a ton of fun. Heather and I also did our first ever professional video together! That was extremely exciting!

I love this girl with my ENTIRE heart!

We also had several scenes in which all the Sternwood girls get spanked in a row, which was pretty intense and fun to shoot. Getting to pass notes and screw around in class was out of character for me, but something I could totally get behind.

I don't want to go to deeply into what, exactly, we shot (because I want you to buy the DVD when it gets released!) but it's all very fun stuff that's made by spankos and for spankos. I personally don't usually enjoy watching my content, but I'm excited to see how the classroom looked through the camera. It's got to be pretty freaking awesome.

From left to right: Cheyenne Jewel, Ela Darling, Alex Reynolds (THAT'S ME!) and Heather Michaels

In the evenings and other spare time, I got a lot of chances to talk to Miss Dana Kane (because we were staying in the same apartment) and this is something that I'm really glad that I got to do. She's a really remarkable woman. She's incredibly smart, talented at what she does, clever, hilarious, fun and amazingly kind. She's also hella beautiful and she carries herself with an amount of confidence I've rarely seen a woman pull off. She's one of the few people I've interacted with who presents herself with no apologies or shame regarding her femininity. In other words, she's simultaneously a woman and a total badass and is entirely unapologetic for that, despite what our society teaches us about what we should be. I really aspire to be as awesome as she is.

On the second day, once I was feeling very in my element indeed, I asked Dana if she would spank me harder during our scenes and she happily agreed to that. Spanking videos are easier for me to film if I'm actually getting the hell smacked out of me because that's my most pure and natural state of being. I got genuine tears going a couple of times during the weekend, but a lot of that was motivated by the happiness of being around a whole bunch of people who were celebrating the stuff that I love that I'd been long taught by my external culture should make me ashamed.

That and the fact that I was getting hit pretty hard!

In one of our paired scenes, Dana broke a spoon somewhere between Heather and I. It was Heather's first broken implement, and we each took a piece that fits together in a sort of spanko friendship heart.

At the end of the weekend, I had a pretty red and sore bottom:

I'm trying to edit photos in my phone now. Thanks, Japan, for Purikura Apps!

In all, the experience was epic! I've been exhausted recently, but I'll hopefully be getting more blogging done in the next few days. I've got LOTS more news! 

In and Out of Spankingland

It's been a while since I've posted. I'm hardly seen online these days. My activity on fetlife is sporadic. My stats show that this has been my lowest traffic month this year, despite my attempts to draw more attention by using twitter and tumblr. I've had people express that my partial withdraw from the community worries them.

It isn't something to worry about. I'm quite fine. Unfortunately, for various complex reasons, I am currently not being spanked regularly anymore. Because of this, I don't have much to talk about. Furthermore, because I'd obviously rather be getting spanked than not getting spanked, I find it a bit saddening to hear about everyone else's adventures, and I find myself not wanting to read blogs or look at photos. Still, with or without new stories, I know that Spankingland is the place where I belong. Frankly, being offline hasn't helped to quell my desires, either. Everywhere I go, I find things that remind me of spanking. Hairbrushes, belts, wooden spoons and more are on display when I go shopping. The trees sway with switches. A male coworker rolls up his shirt sleeves and puts his hands on his hips. A vanilla friend talks smack about "Words With Friends" by saying he's going to "give me an ass whuppin." At this point in my life, I have more spanko friends than vanilla friends that I talk to on a regular basis. And I have to admit that even if I was in an empty room with nothing to remind me of spanking, my brain would go there anyway. It's in my brain and it's a part of me. There's nothing I can do about those two things (not that I would want to in general. I just mean until things get back to normal).

The moral of this story is that I am going to try to return to my normal level of involvement in the community and that I apologize for my absence.

Fortunately, I was able to get spanked by a close friend in Sioux Falls on Friday night. He's not a spanko (he's a general kinkster) but he was a great Top and I really enjoy trying things that are a bit "different" than my usual comfort zone. I lay on the bed over a pillow while he sat next to me and spanked me with a variety of implements after giving me a nice, long (coveted) warmup. It was also a wonderfully long spanking: it lasted for about 45 minutes. It was enjoyable to have something nice and long instead of short and severe (of course I love that, too).

Heather and the Top's wife (who is also my good friend) watched and sometimes bantered with us while I was being spanked, and then the four of us hung out while I "came down" from all the endorphins. I had a popsicle and cuddled my stuffed koala. It was a lovely night.

I greatly appreciated going to bed with a sore bottom that night, but waking up with one the next morning was even more lovely.

There will be more updates this week: I promise that much!
For now, I'll live vicariously through you guys, so have lots of spanking adventures for me!

Ready for Something That Doesn't Make Sense?

Have you ever mistyped a URL? One day, Malignus did. When trying to get to my blog, he instead typed www.alexinspankingland.blogpsot.com

Two switched letters. Go ahead and click that. The result?

Mega Site of Bible Studies and Information.

The site is really poorly made and ugly and contains a bunch of information for conservative Christians about the Bible and other such things. It's certainly NOT about consensual adult spanking and photos of my butt.

I've been meaning to point this out for about six months now but I haven't remembered to do it. Malignus reminded me rather forcefully to the past couple of days, so there you have it!
I'm just two letters away from Christianity. Seems a lot farther in the real world. :P

I'm heading to Los Angeles tomorrow and will be there until Easter Sunday. Expect to see lots of photos: I'm primarily modeling. And shopping and living it up with my people out there. This is one of the only times when my life might sound glamorous. :P

The point is, I shall be continuing to blog but shall not be posting any videos to Spanking Tube this week or the week following. You'll live. :P

The Struggle

For the past few months, I've been working on a particular skill within the realm of submitting to spankings. I'm very, very good at taking hard spankings with the right atmosphere. The atmosphere, however, has always been highly important for my success with these things. I generally experience these things as if I am being "guided" to a particular headspace and then kept there. I think this is partially because my early spanking experiences were highly directed and I never learned how to create a headspace for myself and partly because when it comes to physical things, I'm far better at passive submission than active submission. Recently, we've been working on my ability to give myself over to a hard spanking without direct assistance.

It is way, way more difficult than it sounded to me in the beginning.

No atmosphere means no phrases of comfort or reaffirmation, no "good girl"s, no questions that focus my mind on submission like "to whom does your body belong?" or "do you want this spanking?" It turns out those things go an extremely long way towards creating a submissive headspace for me.

It also means no warmup. This is the biggest difference between the kinds of non-punitive spankings I was used to getting and the kind that I've been getting recently. A warmup eases me into a scene both physically and mentally. The mental side of it is what's the most important for me. It gives me time to accept the fact that I'm being spanked and slowly start giving myself over to the spanking, suspending my sense of self preservation and surrendering my free will for the time being. It's like slowly inching forward to get wet in a lake before going swimming (this analogy is particularly effective for me because I have a strong fear of water so preparing to submerge myself is far more mental than physical, but I'm sure that it will make at least some sense to others). You take one step, then another step, then another and at first every step makes you gasp from the cold but eventually, you put your head entirely under the water and then you're ready and can swim for however long you want.

Without a warmup and with few words of guidance or correction, I'm more like a cat who has just been dropped into a full tub for her bath than a swimmer slowly preparing to enjoy the water. The first smack hits my bottom and I pretty much immediately start crying out, rolling back and forth on Malignus' lap, yelling in the style that Naomi would call "like a dying monster" and being entirely incapable of keeping position. This is relative to my normal ability to be extremely still: I've seen other girls who simply have to be held down and pinned in place to take a spanking, and recently, I saw one of my friends climb over a couch when her arms were being held down and she was trying to escape swats. The logistics of that maneuver still befuddle me. To my own credit, I will add that I've never put my hand back during a spanking, that I've never gotten off the Top's lap, that I've only kicked a Top in the face twice and that it's been over three years since that time that I broke a lamp. Basically, I'm not horrible, but I try to cling to my resistance as much as possible and relaxing and giving myself over to being spanked isn't the first thing on my mind. In fact, instead of thinking about how much I want to be spanked and how I never want it to end, I find myself latching onto thoughts of how it's too hard, it hurts too much, I can't be still for it and I want it to be over. Not very productive.

That's my brain, basically, when I'm not doing things right.

I've been working on this for a long time, and that's not to say that every spanking I receive is done in this method and intended to work on this. Malignus had told me that I'd been making progress but I personally was getting frustrated with myself: I knew what things I should be doing during a spanking and I just never brought myself to do them.

Last week, we obtained a new implement. Peachy Keane sent it to me as part of a gift box. I've talked about Jenny before: the wooden spatula that Malignus loves and most girls hate. Here's a photo of Jenny, in case anyone wasn't sure what it looked like:

This is Ben, the new implement that scotchgrove had Peachy send us:

At first, I thought it was another Jenny in a different color. They do look the same!

From that angle, they look exactly the same aside from the color difference and the fact that Jenny is well worn. From other angles, the difference is far more noticeable:

Ben is about 1.5 - 1.75 times as thick as Jenny. This was EXTREMELY noticeable the first time I was spanked with it. Jenny was my "warm up" (this was quick and very firm) and then he started to hit me with Ben. I kicked and bucked around and screamed and could barely be kept under basic control. I'm pretty sure that the spanking ended earlier than intended because I was taking it with so little grace and dignity. But geeze! That thing is HORRIBLE. It's the epitome of an awful spoon (you can tell because scotchgrove calls his "the perfect spoon." )

The other day, I got into a mood and I started having a really awful attitude while Malignus and I were trying to get things done in a limited amount of time. I'm really ashamed of the way I acted. I was scolded about my attitude and just a minute later, he asked me something and I responded rudely and immaturely. He then started to scold me very, very harshly. I snapped out of my funk immediately and began to cry guiltily. I was suddenly aware of just how badly I'd been behaving. A minute or so later, he called me into the bedroom. He was sitting on the edge of the bed holding Ben. I felt a mix of terror and relief-- despite my extreme dislike of that implement, I knew that I deserved to be disciplined for my behavior and I wanted him to spank me very hard. Once I had bared my bottom and gotten over his lap, he gave me another stern scolding and then did just that. It felt as though he really laid into me with it (I say this in non-concrete terms because the way that I experience pain during a disciplinary spanking is different than usual and often much more severe). There was no denying the fact that he spanked me very thoroughly, but because of my mindset at the time, I lay quite still and did nothing but cry submissively into my pillow. The spanking finished with corner time followed by a long, comforting hug and a chance for me to behave better. I spent the rest of the afternoon focusing on being cheerful and getting things done, and I was successful at both.

Later, when we were driving in the car to go out to eat, Malignus noted that I had been very still for my spanking. It hadn't even registered to me that I had: I had been focusing on other things. This was important for me because it had reminded me just what I was capable of. When I want to, I can endure anything. This had stopped being a reality for me when I had continuously failed at my earlier attempts to fully submit. That night, Malignus gave me a bedtime spanking with a different spoon. My bottom was still sore from my discipline earlier that day, but I know he didn't spank me as hard or with as fast a pace as he usually does. Still, I was able to channel the same feeling of wanting to be spanked and I successfully gave over to the spanking. I was very proud of myself, indeed, and Malignus told me that he was proud as well.

This post has too many words in it! It needs one of these!

Since then, I've only had one other spanking, which was also with Ben. I took that one similarly well. It's exciting to feel like I'm on a roll and finally mastering something and making real, measurable progress.

Strange Sense of Humor

I haven't been posting for the past few days. This is primarily because I haven't been sleeping well. The less I sleep, the weirder my brain gets. For one thing, I tend to be pretty cranky, unless I get that under control (like I finally managed to do tonight.) When I'm not being moody and getting annoyed over tiny things, I get strange. Malignus once told me that when he gets sleep deprived he can feel parts of his brain shutting down. I'm kind of at that stage, too. Unfortunately, the first thing to go seems to be "making sense to other people." So, we'll see how this blog post goes. 

I think I have kind of a strange sense of humor to begin with, but it's certainly been weirder the past couple of days. Example:

Yesterday, Malignus gave me a rather hard spanking. It started like this: I was wearing long underwear with pajamas over it. He hit me (not that hard) on the thigh and I pointed out the fact that I said "Ow!" despite the fact that I was wearing multiple layers of clothing. Using Top Logic®, he took this as a challenge. He decided that he was going to give me my spanking for the day over the clothes I was wearing. Then he decided that he was going to give it to me RIGHT THEN! 

So I got spanked really hard with a giant, hard plastic spoon called "The Killamajig,"plus this thing and our acrylic cane from caneiac, which is in close competition with my nylon cane for "cane that hurts the most ever invented." Despite wearing all these clothes, I was still crying hard and rolling around on the bed. Then he told me to bare my bottom for the last few, which had a pretty powerful psychological effect on me (if it hurts this much with all this protection...) and took me a second to do. Those last few were certainly memorable.  When it was finished, I spent a while crying and wiping my face off while he spent a while being very pleased with himself indeed. I adore that: there's really nothing better than a sadist who is pleased with his work. 

(NOTE: THIS IS NOT THE FUNNY PART. That was background.) 

I was proud of my marks, so I took a few photos. They were missing a little "pizzaz" or something, though: the lighting in our apartment isn't ideal for photo taking, and it's much harder without my giant mirror that used to serve my butt photography purposes so well. I didn't upload any of them.

Then it hit me: I knew what I needed to do:

Mission accomplished. I'm way, way, WAY too amused by this. Every time I look at it, I literally lol. 

Additionally, tonight, one of my friends and I went to the grocery store to pick up some snacks and we stumbled upon this:

It's a plastic spoon with a scared face! It makes me so, so, so happy! Even though I had sworn off purchasing implements, I HAD to buy it. The thing is solid, too, and different than any plastic spoon I've ever felt in composition. When the cashier picked it up to scan she said "Woah, that's heavier than I expected it to be!" My friend, who is also a kinkster and knew exactly what the spoon was for, and I said "YEP!" in unison. I hardly made it through the rest of the transaction without bursting into laughter. 

LOOK AT THE FACE! It's so perfect. 

I need sleep. -_-

Happy Face!

First item of business: I'm February's Blog of the Month over on The Spanking Bloggers Network. Thanks to everyone who voted for me! The Spanking Bloggers Network is an awesome thing, and I'm very grateful for it. It brings a lot of traffic and introduces me to new and exciting blogs every time I check it out. If you're a spanking blogger and not a member of it yet, I urge you to check it out. If you don't blog, check out the main page for links to other awesome writers on our favorite subject.

Secondly: I'm almost embarrassed to brag about this, but I finally got my driver's license. I didn't learn to drive when I was the normal age because my life was in a difficult place at the time. After that, I always lived in large cities and was greatly intimidated by driving in heavy traffic conditions. Finally, out here in South Dakota, I was able to become a confident driver. Once I got ready to take my test, however, things kept going wrong.

The first time I went to take my test, Heather drove me. We arrived and were promptly told that I was not in the computer system to take my test that day. They gave me a different appointment. The second appointment had to be rescheduled, however, because it was for the time when I was in New Jersey for my elder brother's funeral. On the morning of my third appointment, I got running slightly late because I needed to put air in one of my tires which had gotten a bit low, and I arrived five minutes behind schedule. I was told that I was too late to test. The morning of my fourth appointment, I got a phone call from the DMV saying that all morning tests were cancelled because the Examiner was out sick and they were unable to find a replacement. The morning of my sixth appointment, I woke up to eight inches of freshly falled snow and near white-out conditions. As I was clearing off my car, I got a call that they could not test because of the weather.

The morning of my seventh appointment I was very, very nervous. I'd wanted this for such a long time and all the roadblocks that had been thrown in my face made me almost believe that the Universe had some kind of conscious, malevolent agenda against me (I DID say almost, you know I don't buy all that metaphysical stuff :P). I got up, got ready and got to the appointment without anything bad happening. They found me in the computer and gave me my paperwork. Finally, I got in the car and started my test. The Examiner was mean. He seriously yelled every time I did anything less than perfectly, and before I started each turn he would say "DO IT PROPERLY THIS TIME!"

Why are mean men always showing up and yelling at me EVERYWHERE I GO?

When we finished the test, he said "did you prepare for this?"

I nearly started to cry. I was so sure I'd failed. I told him I had, indeed, prepared.

"Well you did very bad" he said. I was so upset I didn't even correct his grammar. He brought me inside and started doing a bunch of paperwork. He didn't tell me I had passed the test, ever. I only figured it out when he handed me my license. I nearly exploded with relief and excitement. It was magical.
I listened to The Mountain Goats and sang off key way too loudly all the way home.

Malignus was super proud of me, and we've basically spent the entire past two days celebrating how awesome I am. He gave me a reward spanking yesterday before we went out, and it was seriously the nicest thing ever. It started with a nice, long warmup that made me smile and practically coo (I try not to do that aloud, of course, because I think spanking a girl until she made happy bird noises might make Malignus explode to death and I don't want that.) Then he spanked me with a wooden spoon for a while, hard enough to make me cry, but still with a tone of happiness and contentment. When that was finished, he gave me a lovely cooldown with his hand. It was incredibly cozy and happy, and I continued to feel warm and snuggly for the rest of the evening.

After that, we went out to dinner, where I proceeded to get moderately intoxicated from one glass of Sangria, consumed with a meal. SIGH. Being a lightweight is kiiiiiind of embarrassing. The food we ate was super amazing, and I got a tiny pink dessert in a little tea cup. Cute and delicious and full of win. I then went over to some friends' house and had lots of fun hanging out with them while Malignus went to work. I then went and hung out at his office and ended up getting home at 6:30 in the morning or something. After that, I slept ALL DAY. I know this isn't something to be proud of, but damn, I'm proud of it. I love sleeping and I don't care who knows. I seriously slept until it was time to get ready for dinner.

We went out to dinner again, and then to ice cream, and then to a movie. Now I'm home and snuggled up writing. Tomorrow, we're going to hang out with friends for a Super Bowl party. This weekend is basically full of win.

I didn't take any photos of my butt for the past several days (GASP?!) but here's a picture of it after a caning I got last weekend.

Don't worry: I didn't get sudden butt death!
I hope your weekend is good, although I bet it isn't as amazing as mine! :P

Fetlife Comments Most People Don't Enjoy

I love getting comments on stuff. Comments on my writing, comments on my photos, comments on my blog (wink wink!): all of it makes me happy. There are certain kinds of comments, however, that never fail to produce this face: >_< . It's my guess that others feel the same way. Being the careful researcher that I am, I've complied this list of "Comments Most People Don't Enjoy."This isn't to say that these sorts of comments are NEVER acceptable, and are sometimes quite funny when used jokingly between friends. Please feel free to add to the list, or to protest my judgement. I want to add that I've never gotten a comment on my blog that was annoying or inappropriate in anyway. It is not my intention to make anyone feel uncomfortable or judged. Thanks.

Type 1: "I want to have sex with you" comments.
This kind of comment gets deleted immediately. I haven't had any on my writing ever, which is kind of disappointing. If someone wanted to throw me on a bed and fuck me based on the quality of my prose, well, maybe I'd smile at that. I get a lot of comments from strangers on my public fetlife photos stating what things they want to do to me, and they never fail to make me displeased. "I'd love to spank you" is always ok with me. "I'd love to put my tongue in you for hours" makes me block you. The more words you use, the worse it gets.

Type 2: "I could do better" comments.
These comments appear on photos of a freshly spanked bottom and say things like "If I had spanked you, you'd be purple!" or "Where are the bruises?!" or "That was a nice warm-up." Hot damn, people! Not every spanking has to be a murdering! Besides, some gals just don't mark anymore! I personally get these kinds of comments rarely, because I don't post a photo unless I think it's worth showing off. Once in a while, though, my bruised and reddened bottom isn't enough for the peanut gallery. I got a comment on the below that said something along the lines of "If I'd have spanked you, you'd be purple down to your knees." I don't have the exact wording anymore, because I deleted it out of frustration. I'm glad to say that the poster never spanked me :D

By my definition, I was purple enough, thanks.

Type 3: "Your [body part] is [size]!" comments.
Sure, sometimes, when I look at photos on fetlife, I think to myself "Damn, she's got a tiny butt!" or "Holy cow! I bet that having breasts like that is uncomfortable!" but I never, ever post these things as comments. Why? Because commenting on someone's body is just rude, even if it seems like a positive to you. I get body part comments ALL THE TIME. "You have a huge ass! So spankable!" is not a compliment to me. Nor is "Pretty ass but it's so tiny!" (I got both those comments on the same photo):

Tiny or huge? The jury is still out on that one!

I've been told that I had way too much "boob mass" to be pretty, that I should get implants, that I should be ashamed of my stomach and that have a perfect, Rubenesque figure. At the end of the day, it only matters if one person likes my body, and that's me. I know my figure isn't perfect, but people only have the right to offer their opinion on that if I ask them for it, otherwise, they're being rude.

Type 4: "What did you do?!?!?!" comments.
It never fails. I post a photo of my butt after a spanking, and someone asks me what I did to deserve that.
Yes, I get disciplinary spankings. They're hard. They hurt. I cry a lot and feel sad. Even if I photograph the results of such a session, I don't want to announce that it was such, because I find discipline to be a very private thing, and I don't want to get positive attention for my bad behavior. Yes, I tell my sisters and best friends when I've gotten myself into trouble, and I could see myself potentially blogging about it if the situation had some underlying lesson about DD in general or something, but I don't want to publicize it to the world every time I've been a disappointment.

Secondly, I don't just get disciplinary spankings. I'm from the "spankings are for everything" camp. I'd say that only 1 in 10 spankings I receive is for corrective purposes. It's silly to assume that I did something bad because I got spanked. I'd say a quarter of the time, the reason that I got spanked is because I asked for it really nicely. My dynamic is far more complicated than "discipline only" and I play with a bunch of other people, too. And geeze, don't I act good on the internet? Next time someone says "What did you do?" I'm going to respond with "I got spanked. Duh!"

Type 5: Comments that assume annoying things about me.
I'm cute. I get that. People want to hug me and stuff, because I'm cute. I went out on Halloween looking like this:

I'm not "a little." I'm not into ageplay. I get comments assuming that I am all the time. I get "Your daddy is a lucky man" pretty often. Yeah, no. Are you talking about my father? Because he's in prison. Not so lucky.

Then there are the posters who say "Just a spanking? I'd give you a good long single tail whipping!" No, thank you. I'll also decline having my feet beaten, being blindfolded, having my tits "destroyed", having my temperature taken rectally and a dozen other things that I've had offered on my photos. Your kink is totally cool with me, but mine is spanking, and that's pretty much it.

Type 6: "I like it better this way!" comments
The number one reason I get this type of comments is about my pubic hair: I alternate between having it and not having it, usually depending on how I'm feeling or particular work I'm doing as a model. I literally do not care what you think of my pubic area. At all. When I have it, I get tons of comments about how strange men on the internet don't want to eat me out. I'm okay with that. When I don't, I get comments saying that it makes me look like a child and they wish I would grow my hair back. I don't know ANYONE who would change their bodily presentation because of the preferences of a stranger on the internet. I also get comments about how people like to see marks on my butt: "I'd prefer a little less bruising next time" and "It's hotter if it goes all the way down to your knees" have both been left on my photos. Right. I'm going to tell my tops to make sure to satisfy strangers online when we're having a scene. No. Not happening.

Type 7: "OMG SUDDEN BUTT DEATH!" comments

We've all seen it happen: someone posts a photo of their butt after a spanking and someone else comes along and says that it's dangerous. Mind you, there *are* situations where something is dangerous: if someone doesn't know where kidneys live and is belting a girl in a way that's probably going to make her pee blood, that had ought to be pointed out. If someone is missing all their skin from the waist down, they are probably going to require serious medical attention. There are areas that some people don't agree on: some spankos are opposed to the hitting of thighs, some are into it. Some spankos think that wrap is evil, others are okay with a little. Friendly comments about that stuff is pretty normal and actually nice. Because I operate on Risk Aware Consensual Kink practices, I appreciate any additional risks being pointed out to me. What I hate are people who freak out for no reason.
"HE SPANKED YOU WAAAAAAY TOO HARD! THAT IS NOT EVEN SAFE! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"

Apparently if you get spanked too hard you can get a blood clot which will then go (somewhere generally unspecified in the comments) and make you dead. This condition is known as Sudden Butt Death, and as the name suggests, it's extremely fatal. I know that this is true because someone that's a Nurse's Aid said so on the internet.

It's okay not to like hard play. It's okay to be grossed out by photos of multicolor bruises and blood and plasma leaking all over the place. But seriously. I don't think anyone has ever died from a spanking.

Your Wish is My Command: Lexan

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Welcome Home!

Oh, right. I went away to my family's house for the holidays. Then I came back.
Good story!

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. There's more to the story than that!

Being with my family of origin is hard. My mother and I have had a difficult relationship for my entire life. Sometimes I just think I'll never go visit them again, but since my mother is in poor health and my oldest brother just passed away, I knew it was the right thing to do.

The visit was really stressful, though. My mother and I quarreled a lot, she didn't let me do anything, she said awkward things all the time (like asking me if I was saving it for marriage!) and I was reminded of all the reasons I left home at such a tender young age in the first place. Plus, I attended my brother's memorial service, which was extremely bittersweet. I had already found closure for myself, but it hurt to see so many other people suffering and there were instances of prejudice against the HIV positive expressed *during the service* which really boiled my blood.

There were also awkward spanko moments- my family members mainly bought me practical gifts, and practical gifts for a woman tend to be kitchen things where I come from. I got ANOTHER rubber spatula (this one did go in the kitchen, but it was still awkward) and I got another wooden spoon. I have a lot of wooden spoons. Malignus doesn't like me using them in the kitchen because he doesn't want them to absorb germs or something like that. Basically, I am pretty sure he just wants to keep them all for spanking me. Besides, the spoon I got from the family is a really beauty from a spanking perspective: nice, long handle, perfectly flat back, smooth, strong beech wood.

Yep: I'm aware that this is the most ridiculous photo of me I've ever posted to this blog!

Then there was the gift exchange with my cousin, who bought me a set of FIVE hairbrushes. My mom said "Oh good! Alex can really use those! I've bought more hairbrushes for that girl than anyone needs in a life time and yet they always end up lost or broken." Broken, yes, Mom. Into pieces. On my ass. But you don't need to know that!

Then there was the awkward conversation in which my surviving brother attempted to convince me that I should use a bathbrush in the shower because they feel really nice and offered to buy me one. No. Bathbrushes DO NOT feel really nice. They feel like death. Like every swat is taking minutes off my lifespan. I don't care how they feel in the shower: if it's in my shower, it's in my house and THAT'S BAD!

Finally, there were the little things: the fact that I notice awkward spanking related things EVERYWHERE and want to giggle or make an awkward face and can't in vanilla company:

I'm wearing these to get spanked sometime!

Beside all this, I had trouble sleeping and I really missed Malignus. It certainly made me appreciate just how wonderful my life here is, though. I'm able to truly be myself at all times and I'm with someone who loves me for exactly that, not for who I pretend to be or who I change myself into. That in and of itself is more than I ever dreamed of. Add in the fact that we have a lot of fun together, I get to cook and clean, and I get a good spanking almost every day and I'm made aware that I'm pretty much the luckiest girl in Spankingland.

Coming home on Tuesday to this was just lovely. There really aren't words for how nice it was. When I was a girl and I was obsessed with Roald Dahl's book, Boy, there was a section that I enjoyed that didn't have any beatings in it. This was where Dahl discussed the joy of going home from school for the summer holidays. I specifically remember him saying something along the lines of "The feeling is incredible and can't be understood except by someone who has lived in an oppressive environment and then gone back to a place of freedom. It was almost worth going away to school just to experience the joy of being away from it." I always liked imagining what that would be like: to leave my normal and unenjoyable childhood and go to a place of freedom. Leaving my family's home to go back to my new adult life reminded me of that. It's a very pleasant thing, getting to experience the stuff you've always wanted! :D

On Tuesday, after Malignus picked me up from the airport, we got a pizza and went home to watch the first two Rocky movies (which I'd never seen before, despite being a film aficionado.) After the second movie, it was late and I was tired, plus I still had a lot of residual stress from the past week built up in my system. I asked Malignus is he was going to spank me that night, since I usually go across his lap before going to bed, and he said "a little bit." I was kind of imagining a firm but not miserable hand-spanking based on that response. I was alright with that: I hadn't been spanked for nine whole days! Better ease back into it, right?

Then I saw him coming into the bedroom with my new spoon. He had swatted me with it earlier and it had made me howl. My stomach dropped. This reflected in a very sad look on my face. Malignus asked me if I was scared about how much the spanking would hurt and I replied that I was. "You should be," he said. He's very encouraging. :P

I bared my bottom and got in position over his lap and he asked me if I wanted a warm up. I gave the most heartfelt and earnest rendition of "Yes, please, Sir!" ever heard by man, I'm pretty sure. Warmups are kind of a luxury for me, and I hadn't really been expecting one, but the idea sounded so nice.

Then Malignus said "Too bad!" and started laying into me. Then I started howling. It would probably not have been a very pretty thing to listen to. The stupid thing was agonizingly painful and it kept falling with an extremely fast pacing. It hurt so much that I very quickly began to sob. The spanking just kept going, though, without any sign that the pace was slowing. He spanked me very thoroughly: as is usual, he didn't spare my thighs in the least, and this time he put considerable time and attention into beating my sit-spots. He eventually stopped with the spoon and spent a while spanking me firmly but much more slowly with his hand while my cries began to quiet. It took me a little bit after the spanking finished to stop crying, but my stress and tension had been replaced with a remarkable sense of calm and security. Laying over the lap of the man I love with a bruised, swollen bottom throbbing with pain, I felt like I had no reason to be anything but content and joyful. Very shortly thereafter, I lay in bed with my head resting on his chest and fell asleep.

Because I went directly to bed, I did not photograph my butt when it was properly marked, but I woke up looking like this:

My life rocks.

Good Spanking :D

I was looking through the front page of my blog and I discovered something extremely unsettling: there were no photos of my butt on it! Fortunately, I have the ability to fix that :P.

Please enjoy these sample frames from my shoot with Chelsea Pfeiffer. The videos and photosets appear on Good Spanking: you can find me right on the front page. You should all be able to recognize my butt by now, right? I really recommend that you go check it out: it was a lot of fun to shoot, and it's one of the videos that has the strongest representation of me as myself, since it's a reality shoot where I'm not playing a character. I love scenes (and videos) like that: you start with two spankos. I'm a bottom, he or she is a top, and therefore, there's a spanking. Thinking about it makes me want to be over a lap right now (oh wait, that's always the case, isn't it?)

Or over an ottoman. That works too. Bare bottomed and over SOMETHING, please!

I kind of made fun of that blue, light plastic paddle... until I got spanked with it. Super stingy. Yikes!

That paddle hurt. A lot.

See my scrunchy face?!

Chelsea really laid into me with the strap. For such a small woman, she really packs a punch! :D