Winter Wonders

As I mentioned before, Paul is in England until February, leaving me woefully unsupervised. In lieu of running through the neighborhood stealing cars and chopping down trees (which is what he always says will happen if he doesn't impose rules, structure and discipline in my life) I decided to head to the East Coast (from whence I originally came) to visit friends and family and to do some shooting with producers local to there. If you're located in within driving distance from central New Jersey or within public transit distance from NYC and want to do a session before January 6th, I have limited availability left before I leave. Email alexinspankingland@gmail.com and we'll see if we can set something up. 

I left for New York on the evening of the 11th, and had quite the adventure in not sleeping: I had an overnight flight, but had to leave my house in the valley at 9:00 to drive to Rafa and Zeki's place downtown, since they're using my car while I'm gone. Rafa then took me to LAX and I did all of the usual airport business, getting on my flight around midnight. I had a layover around 8 AM, Eastern Time, at which point I had not slept. I then got on another flight around 1:00, which got me to NY around 3:00. I went directly from the airport to my first shoot: I don't actually have the link to the site at the moment, but I'll update this post when I do, but it was delightfully dark and edgy, including limp/sleepy/chloroform fetish. I was remarkably not dead of actually sleepiness at this point, and I stayed awake even though a lot of the shoot involved me lying around pretending to be asleep! When we finished, they brought me back to the train station and I went up to stay with a vanilla friend in the city. We had to take some time to catch up, of course, but when we headed into her room to go to sleep, we discovered that the heat was broken.

Now, some people can survive when they're cold. I'm not one of those people. Being cold is a huge deal to me, and it was about 7F outside. My friend's room was cold enough that we saw our breath indoors. She didn't have tons of blankets, either, so I just sat up on her air mattress with my coat on and a blanket around me and shivered for most of the night. I didn't really sleep, because I couldn't relax in the cold. The next morning I got up and had the hottest shower I could stand. I was quite warmed up by it, and we went out and bought a space heater since the landlord "wasn't sure" when he could have the heat fixed. Oh dear. 0_0 The space heater was very effective, though! As soon as it got warm, I wanted to crawl into bed and take a nap, but it was time to get ready to visit Kelly Payne for my next shoot for her site, Tantrum Trainers. I'll hopefully have photos from that the next time that I post. In the meantime, here's Miss Payne looking sexy as all hell as she takes me to task:

I really enjoyed being over this lap. :) 

That shoot was very laid back and a lot of fun. I get along really well with Kelly, and I certainly consider her one of my friends. We chatted a bit and caught up before we did our scene. It was very long and quite hard, plus it was all done over the knee. I'm wearing some shimmery stockings. This made me very happy. Kelly spanked me so hard for so long with her hand that she actually got a blood blister during the shoot. Fortunately, she had a paddle nearby to switch to nearby. That paddle stung crazily. The hand-spanking had been long and thorough, and it had sort of mesmerized me. My whole existence was hot and swollen as smack after smack fell on my bottom. The paddling cut through that, making each swat a strong peak of sensation. I was actually thinking about this while I was being spanked, at first, before it overwhelmed me: I was imagining making meringue, and watching as "stiff peaks form" as the recipe describes it. I felt like such peaks of sensation and pain were forming for me. Eventually, though, everything blurred together as I reached the point of being overwhelmed (in a good way, of course). I started to cry and to apologize and, near the end, started to have trouble talking. You know a video has actually pushed me when I start insisting that I can't talk anymore near the end of it (or, in the case of this more severe video, quite early on in the spanking!).

Erica made a post a little while ago about not being able to articulate what happens in her mind during a spanking. I have the same experience. Once it reaches a certain point, it overwhelms my brain's ability to break sensation down and put it into language. One minute I'm interpreting my spanking through a visual metaphor relating to pie-making, the next, there are no words. It's just... there. Everything in my mind is the spanking and it exists in a place which, despite my efforts, I can't reach to describe with language. This is something which commonly happens to me in my "real life" play (it's pretty normal for Paul to try to talk to me while cuddling me after a scene and for me to insist that I "can't brain") but only happens on film every now and again, so it was kind of exciting.

Finally, on Friday night I headed back to my friend's house and went to sleep, after having been awake since Tuesday morning! Following this, I did some more hanging out and had a series of other traveling related hassles (as tends to happens to me: in addition to a last name, I share the characteristic with Malcolm Reynolds that "things don't go smooth.") Eventually, I made my way to Sarah Gregory's house in Connecticut. She and her submissive J_Dogg picked me up from the train station and we went to go pick out a Christmas tree for her house. I'm glad that I got to do this with her, since I didn't have a tree at home before I left. As I mentioned in my last post, my family isn't really fully celebrating Christmas this year since we're just trying to get set up in my mom's new place following losing our house in Hurricane Sandy, so we're not having a Christmas tree there, either. Last year, I had an adorable, tiny Christmas tree (Malignus allowed my friends to give me one decoration each and this was all he'd permit me to hang up, so a thoughtful friend made her one ornament a little, live tree, complete with lights already on it!) and I stayed in South Dakota for Christmas. The year before, my family didn't have a real Christmas celebration because instead we were doing my brother's memorial service. So, decorating the tree with Sarah was the first time I'd done a full sized Christmas tree since 2010, and it was very refreshing to do so! So much so that I put tinsel all over myself:

Chriiiiiiistmassssss, bitches! 

The tree turned out wonderfully, and Sarah and I got to spend lots of girly time talking and hanging out. The next day, we woke up to find out that the world had been covered in snow (and by "the world" I mean "Sarah's town" because it was recently brought to my attention that my common use of hyperbole is "awful"). We got dressed up in snow gear to go outside and have a little frolic. For me, "snow gear" meant wearing tights under my skirt and over my knee socks, boots which Sarah had been so kind as to give me since I had none, my new coat and big, pink bow. And braids. Braids are an important part of being in the snow.

Sarah took some photos of me playing outside, and I was really blown away with them. She's a very good photographer!

Such winter. Wow. What snow. 

Frolics! 

Oh hai from both of us! :)

The roads were not exactly great that night, and I think most people stayed in their houses, but Sarah and I really needed to get out and do something exciting. Sarah took a shower right before we went out, though, and put her hair up in a wet bun. While she was cleaning off her car, it froze. I poked at it a bunch and it was just... a haircicle. Yiiiiiikes. Soon, we were safely on our way (with Sarah driving very carefully). We went to eat at a Southwestern place which Sarah likes a lot called Mo's. I'd never had it before, but we had a nice meal there, and I may or may not have abused the fact that you can add flavoring to your soda there. Cherry vanilla lime raspberry coke is actually not as good as it sounds. After dinner, we went to the local mall and got tickets to watch The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, which neither of us had seen yet. We were a bit early as we'd overestimated the amount of time it might take to get to the mall in the snow, so we did a bit of shopping, getting lots of bows and some other cute stuff. We both enjoyed the movie, and we got home safely afterwards where we continued do more girly talking until it was pretty late. We were doing a shoot the next day, so we had to go to bed.

The next morning, Robert Shore (CTPhotographer) came over so we could do our shoot. We filmed a Christmas special which is currently running on Sarah Gregory Spanking called "Not What She Wished For." In this film, I play a naughty little girl who sneaks down to the Christmas tree to start opening presents without waiting for the rest of her family. When Robert catches me, he scolds me and then turns me over his lap for a spanking, right in front of the tree. I wore some cute pajamas and pigtails and made quite a fuss about getting spanked on Christmas. Originally, I thought that the idea of getting spanked on a holiday was a bit dark, but the scene came out to be very sweet and cute, actually. I played my character as being greatly in need of a spanking, Christmas or not. It was the first time that Robert ever spanked me, but we had great chemistry on camera, I think.

I'm hiding the present I was opening behind my back and pretending to be innocent, but I'm somewhat delighted with my own mischief and can't help but smile. I feel that this is a face that Paul probably sees from me on a pretty regular basis at home!

It's Christmas! Who gets spanked on Christmas!? Soooo unfair!

Handprint!

That evening, I left to go back to NY, as I had a session the next day. I'm glad that Sarah and I finally got to spend some time together, and I feel that we really connected. I'm looking forward to doing more fun stuff with her in the near future! :D♥

Photos, Sophie and Danny, Bondage!

I had a few other delightful adventures when I was in Denver, before it was Cabin Time. One involved taking photos with Amoni. Amoni is one of my best friends, and a wonderful photographer. We've done a lot of different sorts of shoots before, but this time we decided to explore the Lolita type space that I sometimes enjoy occupying. Our friend, Cupcake, did my hair for me and Amoni picked out my outfit. The shoot was extra fun.

We also had a night that involved a bit of partying. I don't really get drunk very much. Despite the fact that I'm still extremely young, I somehow feel like I'm too old for that. I suppose I overdid it when I was in high school and college. I also have a ridiculously low tolerance for alcohol, so I don't even try to keep pace with my friends. I did, however, drink this tiny bottle, which was actually good (we mostly bought it because LOL IT IS CALLED KINKY!) and a thing of blackberry cider, which was pretty weird. You can see my silly looking drinky face. :P We also hung out with friends DarkSteven and DarkStevensGirl, who did not appear in this photo, and a really clingy basset hound called Bonnie who wanted to sit on everyone despite being way too big for that.

Cupcake, myself and Amoni. Amoni's bangs are the cutest ever.

I have no sense of chronology anymore, but at one point I went to hang out with my super good friend and retired model, Sophie Grey. We met up with Danny Chrighton, whose name I've been spelling wrong on this blog since the start of time. Excuse to spank me in the future? After we all got together, we walked to a sushi restaurant near Sophie's place and had an excellent meal. We walked around and got ice cream, which always raises the quality of my day. We decided to go to Goodwill, mostly because I wanted to and Sophie and Danny said it was a great one. So in we went. I kept finding everything vaguely school skirt-ish pretty instantly, but nothing was the right fit for either Sophie or I. Then we went through the "Wares" department, where we discovered something that felt super out of place: a paddle.
It was just a fraternity paddle, sitting there among the random plastic bowls and old clocks. I don't have a clear photo of it, but it was big and hardwood and heavy. It had a set of Greek letters on it, and then the list of all the brothers from that house written on it. Sophie and I decided to buy this, but felt super awkward and weird walking around carrying it. Here's possibly the worst photo of me that I've uploaded to this blog in the past few years (I recently looked at a bunch of my old posts and I used to be a lot sillier looking than I am now. Wow.)

This is me posing with my ice cream cone and trying to be nonchalant about the fact that I'm holding a big fucking paddle!

This whole thing was made even more awkward by the fact that it was us two girls with Danny buying it, and that Sophie and I couldn't stop giggling, and that I didn't have enough cash to cover it and had to borrow a dollar from Danny. Poor boy at the Goodwill checkout. -_-

We carried this around in a bag while we stopped for supplies, then we went back to Sophie's place. We decided that we wanted to remove the part that has all the boy's names on it (since it's kind of a piece of paper that's attached with varnish and is aging weirdly, and because this paddle's new job is spanking girls). I don't know if these sorts of paddles are some sort of collector's item or anything, but I haven't done this, so if it's a horrible idea, someone should let me know. Anyway, we decided to leave it alone and not get spanked with it that night.

We watched TV and had some cider (yes, I basically only drink cider when I drink alcohol) and then started watching videos that the three of us had done in the past which we thought were funny. Danny had the best one: a video that he did for Spanked Call Girls where he did a "pimp accent" while spanking Leia Ann Woods. Infinitely entertaining.

Eventually, it got late and became time for some actual spankings, instead of just videos. :D Danny had brought over a couple of implements, and Sophie and I lay on the bed next to each other while he took turns spanking one of us and then the other. It started out as soft and gentle, but grew in intensity, as spankings are wont to do. I like getting spanked with Sophie. She really obviously enjoys being spanked. She's super relaxed and makes lots of happy noises, and that sort of pushes me into a similar space. Eventually, though, Danny got out a cane and started giving us taps with this. In the same natural and undeniable progression, this began to grow into full fledged strokes, making both of us yelp and wiggle. "Danny!" Sophie protested, "this is supposed to be a good girl spanking!"

"It is!" Danny said. "This is a nice, gentle bedtime caning for good girls." He gave her another moderately hard stroke.

"You can't just make something nice by saying that it is!" she pouted.

"I'm pretty sure that's actually how it works," Danny said, pleased with himself. Sophie and I made sad faces at him, but this obviously did nothing. This was tragic, because we minded the caning SO MUCH (yeah, no we didn't!).

After he'd finished caning us, Danny remembered that he had his belt on, so he took this off and applied it to us. It was very nice. Belting has become a favorite spanking activity recently: it seems to be just the right mix of sting and thud, and often very well distributed. Like I mentioned before, there's something hot and manly about taking a belt off. This particular segment was especially enjoyable.

When the belting was over, we got a cool down and then a nice lotion rub and I found myself in the "no bones syndrome" kind of state, where I couldn't just get up and walk and had to roll around like I was lacking any actual muscular control. I sort of rolled back into my panties and then into bed, where the three of us cuddled all night. Friends who cuddle in bed together are the best kinds of friends.

While in Denver I also did a bondage shoot, which is something that I'm still fairly new at. This shoot was with The Monk of Mayhem. He was a really personable and nice guy, and I enjoyed chatting with him when I wasn't gagged. :) Bondage is intense and serious business, but I find filming it to be gratifying. There's a lot of discomfort associated with bondage, largely in the form of being stretched in odd ways for longer than my body wants to be and in the horrible pins and needles feeling that comes when I'm finally untied from a pose. This is extremely different than the kinds of pain that I'm used to, and it's a bit strange for me, but it's never been "bad." The primary word that I have to describe it is "interesting." Sometimes it's intense. Sometimes it doesn't even feel kinky to me. It's almost always very aesthetically pleasing, though:

Photo by The Monk of Mayhem

The whole time that all this stuff was happening, though, my mind was often elsewhere. I was constantly aware of how many days were left before Paul arrived to visit me, and I got increasingly more excited and jittery as the number of days got lower and lower. The night before he was to get here, I could hardly sleep. I kept waking up and wondering if it was the time that I was supposed to leave to pick him up from the airport yet, which it of course was not.
I finally slept, though, and woke up surprisingly refreshed. The day that followed was one of the best ever. You'll hear about it in the next post. ♥

The Cane: Not Exactly a Love Story

Since I recently shot my School Strokes interview at Real Spankings, I uploaded a couple of the photos to my Fetlife profile. I tend to do this: I like to show off what I've been up to, and I get to direct attention towards the awesome companies that I'm lucky enough to work with.

The inclusion of these caning photos sparked a small conversation: do I like being caned or not? I gave the shortest answer I could possibly give, since this conversation was being conducted via photo comments: "I have a love/hate relationship with the cane." I guess this didn't answer people's questions. I got several private messages asking me to explain what, exactly, that means. I'm choosing to do so here. :)

For one thing, caning is a lower proximity activity than an OTK spanking and is therefore less comforting to me. This is not to say that it is uncomfortable. It just doesn't carry the same warm, safe feeling that being OTK gives me. Caning also has trouble escaping its formal roots, and it doesn't lend itself to being relaxing because of this. These things place caning farther away from the circle of comfort for me and therefore, for more intense caning scenes, requires a greater amount of trust in my partner.

There's also the fact that caning lends itself well to intensity and, even when not done severely, it is usually paced in a way that feels concentrated and deliberate. The pacing does a lot for me. It makes each stroke very significant. It slows the world down, and can make a time frame of less than a minute in which six strokes are delivered feel like a very long time.

Canes hurt in a very unique way. They tend to build. A few seconds after the initial impact, there's that second, deeper pain. Individual strokes feel like pinching or biting combined with a bit of a punch instead of the traditional stinging, swatting, burning feeling of small headed implements like hairbrushes or wooden spoons (the implements that I favor) or the "knocks the wind out of you," full bodied pain which accompanies a thuddy implement like a frat paddle. Cane strokes often create welts, which may take longer to heal and which hold in the pain for a while in a way that is different than other spankings.

Is all this good or bad? Why can't you just answer the question, Alex?
It's both. I feel my heart in my chest when someone that I enjoy being spanked by instructs me to get a cane, or when he holds one menacingly between his hands, flexing it and taunting me. I've been brought to tears simply by the sound of a cane being whooshed back and forth or colliding with the mattress as a demonstration. It scares me. It intimidates me. With someone I know and trust, I like that. I like how much I don't like the way a caning feels. I like being instructed to get into position for an implement that I'd never in a thousand years select for myself if I was given a set of choices. I like it when it pleases Malignus to cane me. He went on a "kick" for a particular cane at one point, and would grab me and bring me into the bedroom for it multiple times a day, just arbitrarily, because he liked hitting me with it. As much as I didn't actually enjoy the caning (it often brought tears to my eyes), I loved how much he was enjoying doing it. Getting something which sort of scares me, which sort of pushes boundaries, which wouldn't be my first choice makes me feel wonderfully submissive. The afterglow of a caning is always filled with adrenaline, some level of endorphines and pride.

Another think which I actually like about caning is its ability to overwhelm me. This is something I've talked about before. I like it, in certain contexts, when a spanking can overwhelm me and push me beyond my usual level of resistance. I like feeling all my energy used up. I like feeling the fight go out of me. Especially when used after other implements, hard cane strokes can really do this to me. In fact, two of my most significant subspace experiences involved caning, and I'm forever appreciative towards cane-kind for that.

So, in summary, it's both. Yes, I've stomped my foot and thrown a big protest at the announcement that I was going to be caned, and no, I can't think of a time when I said "You know what I'd like? The cane!" but at the same time, I have nothing but warm feelings... especially those coming in the form of lines.

 Head over to Real Spankings to see my interview for more cane-conversation.  ♥

2012, Continued

I left off from my year-in-review after describing June and the excitement it contained. I shall now pick back up with:

July

While I didn't blog about it, I had an amazing 25th birthday on July 6th, during which I visited with friends, got to go to Bear Country (my favorite of places!) got lovely birthday spankings and received my most beloved pets, Telsa and Newton the guinea piggies, from Malignus. It was seriously great.

Later that month, I started out on a series of adventures which would keep me away from home for most of the rest of the summer. This began with Chicago Crimson Moon. I had lots of fun and met many cool people for the first time, and I got to spend more quality time with some people I really care for. From Chicago, I flew to LA for another visit, which was fun and exciting.

August

August started out in Los Angeles, where I got to visit with friends and eat lots of delicious ethnic treats. Especially noteworthy was the time that I spent visiting with Erica Scott and the adventures that Lily Starr and I shared. While there, I celebrated my seventh "Spankoversary" which I discovered takes place on Consensual Spanking Day.  From Los Angeles, I traveled to Texas to do more shooting and have more adventures. I stayed with WYO and LLB and got to get really close with them. They've become some of my favorite people, and I'm really thankful to have them in my life! Near the end of my visit with them, Heather joined us there for a night and then the next morning, the two of us took off on a road trip of epic proportions which would eventually land us at the Mother of All Spanking Parties: Shadow Lane. It was an epic party where I got to meet and hang out with lots of awesome people, and, because of the company I got to keep, was probably the best party I've been to at present.

My regret for the month of August is that Richard Windsor didn't spank me when we met, but I've set things in motion to make my future spanking from him inevitable. :)

September

September started out as a recovery month for me. I landed back in Sioux Falls after having been gone for six weeks straight and was very glad to see Malignus again. I celebrated the completion of my first year as a spanking model and my 100th blog post.  I did lots and lots of sleeping to make up for time lost while on the road. After I was caught up, I had a big event. I had organized my first spanking get together, a private cabin party in Colorado. It was amazing. Things came together extremely well, and everyone had a great time. I got to see a ton of people I care about and spent lots of quality time with them. There were lots of outdoor spankings, including outdoor switchings:

We traveled on and came across a series of small, young birch trees. The area that I chose to get a cabin in happened to, entirely by chance, be largely without deciduous trees, so this was a bit of a rarity. As we viewed them, the Tops pointed out that they were very supple and swishy looking and would make excellent switches.

"Oh darn!" I exclaimed. "No one has a knife with them. What a shame. I guess we can't have any switches."

Robert pulled a knife out of his pocket. If life was a comic book, there would have been a "SNIKT" sound effect. My face looked like this: -_-.

Shortly after a large number of switches had been cut, we climbed up to a small tree house. We got inside and ellee and I received treehouse switchings. The joy of being in a treehouse and being spanked while viewing an incredible landscape almost took away the sting. Key word: almost.


October

Photo copyright Amoni Jones

October was the month where I SUCKED at blogging. I did basically none of it, only banking two entires. I did, however, have lots of important things happen. For one, after returning home from the cabin party, I realized that not only did I feel naturally submissive towards YS, I really liked feeling submissive towards him. There were little moments during the party where I knew that things just felt right. After consulting with ellee to make sure she was alright with it (as she is my best friend, after all) I asked YS to take me under consideration and he agreed. I think that same day, or maybe the next, ellee asked Malignus to do the same thing for her. I really like the system that was created: ellee and I have always been sisterly and there's something that makes the world feel like it is in its proper order that we both answer to the same pair of people. It was also in October that I went to Los Angeles for more epic adventures in modeling, visited Disneyland with Lily Starr and Robert Wolf, shot Sternwood Academy, Volume 2, went to Denver and shot a billion amazing pictures with Amoni, filmed with Real Spankings AND went to Crimson Moon's Halloween party, where my Bad Counterpart (theBadAlex) and I discovered the horrors of eyebrow threading and were probably both traumatized for life. Busy. Month.


November

November was another resting month, and the beginning of some winter time off. There was a drastic increase in my posting frequency during this month, due to YS' new leadership: he implemented rules ensuring that I post frequently enough to keep everyone happy.
For Thanksgiving, Malignus and I traveled to Texas where we spent it with WYO, LLB and an assortment of other awesome spankos. It was a great time. I love being at their place: wonderful friendship, delicious food, nightly hot tubbing, hard spankings, cute puppy. What more could a girl ask for in life, really? I also spent lots of time working on plans for Malignus' (then) upcoming birthday surprises. Near the end of the month, I got grounded from using the light on the stove for leaving it on too often. I'm including this because it still seems rather ridiculous to me, both that I would get such a simple thing wrong and that I'd end up getting so much grief for it.

December

December was, by leaps and bounds, the highest traffic month that my blog ever saw. This is probably largely owed to YS' encouragement, an attempt that I started making to put more of my narrative writing skills into some of my posts and the fact that a couple of my posts ended up on Chross' list. Certainly not without effect on this is the fact that I was nominated for Creative Spanking Blog of the Year over at The Spanking Spot, an honor which made me extremely proud. Early in the month I had kind of a break through scene with Malignus, which was also noteworthy because I feel it was one of the only times I've actually been able to successfully write up a scene-story in a way that could be meaningful to anyone other than myself.

The holidays descended on us! At first, our festivities began slowly, but as friends got involved, things picked up pace. We started out with one Christmas ornament: a tiny ornament of a wooden spoon with a red handle (like some awful thing that a lot of girls are familiar with). By the time New Years rolled around, we had lights, a small but beautiful tree with a bunch of great decorations on it, Christmas cookies, Christmas stockings, wrapped presents, candy and I even got Christmas pajamas. Malignus got me a Kitchenaid mixer, something I'd always dreamed about. I was a really freaking happy girl, and I had a very Merry Christmas indeed.

The highlight of the month, and possibly of the year, was Malignus' birthday, though. I secretly planned a series of five surprises for him: first, ellee arrived at the house for a surprise visit. Then, I left the two of them alone to enjoy some time together while I snuck off and retrieved Heather Green. After their weekend ended, Malignus was pretty sure that was that was the end of his festivities. It was not. The next weekend, PTL ALSO arrived for ANOTHER secret visit! This also included his fourth surprise, a birthday cake with the words "It's your birthday again" on it.

Malignus' cakes from last year (left) and this year. 

Needless to say, he loved it. His final surprise arrived a few days after his actual birthday: it was a book that I'd made for him. I asked as many people as I could think of who I knew were close to Malignus in some capacity to make a page for this book, expressing whatever sentiment they wanted to share. Because of time constraints and other situations, not everyone was able to participate, but I still got 20+ awesome pages, all of which brought a huge smile to Malignus' face. Heather and I even designed a page from her dog, Lucy. Malignus likes Lucy so much he did not even think this was stupid.


Future

By the time that New Year's Eve rolled around, I was supposed to be finishing this post, but I instead got goofy on the one glass of champagne that I had and didn't get around to it, preferring NOT to write when tipsy and stupid. The first day of 2013 was great, the next two, not as much, but I know things will pick up. I'm looking forward to having a wonderful year!

Thanks to everyone who made 2012 one of the best years ever. Love you guys. ♥

Obnoxious Comments Revisited

In January I made this post detailing what kind of comments I frequently received on Fetlife that I did not appreciate. This post created some controversy, because people don't like to be told that they are doing something that pisses others off. I actually lost a friend because he said that I was too picky about comments. -_-

Fetlife comments that are annoying, not appreciated or offensive continue to be a problem. I've branched out to notice several new types of annoying comments. Here is the updated list. Please note that this post isn't exactly sweet and positive. If you don't like this or you have some kind of delicate sensibilities and can't deal with me using "harsh language" then I suggest that you skip this one.

1) Creepily sexual comments. 
I've already pretty well established that excessively sexual comments from strangers make me, and NEARLY EVERY OTHER GIRL ON THE INTERNET at least somewhat uncomfortable. I do acknowledge that there are some girls who get off on the idea that a stranger wants to put his tongue in them for hours, but those girls really aren't the majority. I'm moving on to include "creepily sexual" in this category, because those are even worse. Topping this list is the comment "I hope you are looking forward to me sneaking up on you to give you a good fuck." I hope the commenter is looking forward to me stabbing him the throat in self defense. Strangers being sexually forceful isn't actually hot. It's just...rapey. In a bad way. In a "if this comment was a neighborhood that I was driving through, I would lock my doors" kind of way.

2) Sexualizing non-sexual pictures or trying to force a picture into a different fetish. 
I know that Fetlife is about kink. It's also basically where I hang out all day. I have more friends that I actually value, talk to and visit on Fetlife than any other place. Because of this, I sometimes post pretty vanilla stuff to my Fetlife page. I try not to post things that are excessively "Vanilla and Unpopular" like pictures of what I ate for dinner or a photo of some rocks, but I do post pictures of me just hanging out and doing regular-person stuff that have nothing to do with kink. It makes sense: I do stuff other than get spanked. I wear clothes most of the time. My whole life isn't one big spanking video. Sometimes, commenters don't understand this. Once, someone commented on a photo of me and a friend (I think Heather) at a mall or something with "Did you guys have sex in the foodcourt?" No! We walked around and looked at clothes, talked about whatever we were feeling insecure about, drank an Orange Julius, tried some dresses on and then went home.
Another time, I posted a photo of a cake and someone commented that he wanted to jizz all over it. Fuck you people.

Equally obnoxious to me is when people try to make up a story which fits my photo into a different fetish. For example, I uploaded a perfectly innocent photo of myself in the corner and someone commented with "Sent to the corner with a butt plug and vaginal dildo in place and told not to touch yourself." No, just sent to the corner. End of story. You can think about whatever you want when you look at my pictures. Just don't write those words down if they aren't the kind of thing you share with everyone else.

Popular among my friends is the story of a comment that was placed on this photo:

This awesome photo is by Amoni Jones. I love her forever.

This is a picture of me that my good friend, Amoni took during an Alex in Spankingland themed photo shoot. At some point, I'll be re-doing my blog to include some of these photos in the layout. I feel like this picture is fairly straight forward, especially considering that the next photo in the series is of me bent over that rock behind me with my bare, spanked bottom on display. I'm about to be spanked and I'm petulant about it.

According to a commenter, this is a photo of "a young school girl pissing out of doors."
Oh. Ok. I GUESS I can see where you could kind of get that idea from. Maybe just a little.
Anyway, this became hilarious because I was amused by the syntax "pissing out of doors" (when he clearly meant "outdoors") and did a literal demonstration (without actually peeing, of course) of what that looks like in my head: a girl opens up a door, stands in the frame, then thrusts her crotch forward in an attempt to piss out of the door. I imitated this a lot at Chicago Crimson Moon this October. I also got spanked for doing so. :P

3) Complaints about pantie placement/what I'm wearing/how I'm posed/other details
I personally like panties a lot. I buy lots of cute ones, and I want to take photos wearing them. I love the way that my red butt looks sticking out from my panties. Often times, when I take pictures, I'll pull my panties back up after a bare bottom spanking because I like that look. So. Many. People. Complain. About. This. It's almost enough to make me not want to post photos of my butt to the internet anymore when I post a picture and I get comments like "that should have been on the bare" or "why did he leave your panties up"? It isn't like I never post bare bottom photos. I'd say it's a pretty even split. If you don't like a photo with my panties up, go look at one with them down. Bam. Problem solved. Once, maybe a week after a photo of me having been spanked in my swimsuit was uploaded, someone commented on it saying "Could you take one with the bottoms pulled down?" Oh, yes. Let me go back in time to when I got that spanking and take a picture to your exact specifications.
I get these complains about lots and lots of things. "I wish your pajamas were dropseats." "Next time, take a photo where you're bent over the couch." "Take pictures during the spanking, not after." -_-
I usually just delete the offending comments and then move on with my life. One that I found particularly annoying was left on this photo:

This is probably my favorite photo of all time, leaving aside a couple of pictures of me and my brother, and it's certainly my favorite spanking related photo. Why do I like it so much? Because those moments when I'm worn out and crying after a long, hard spanking and Malignus is holding me and calming me down are some of the most special moments in my life, period. This is the only time when there was someone else there at that moment with a camera, so it's the only photo that I currently have of this kind of moment. It's also from the first time that I visited Malignus, before I was his girlfriend, before we moved in together and built the life that we have now. It just brings up a lot of positive memories. It always makes me smile.
Someone commented on it saying that it would be better if my socks were white.
dfghosdoghosiudghdfioughdiufghiusefhisuefgtsuygfidfgisufisufgisudfhisufhiosuediufgiuhijbdfsdfhs!!!!!!!HNUIU!

4) Comments not related to photo.

This is a practice that a lot of people are guilty of that I just find really rude: commenting on a photo to say something which is unrelated to the picture. One time, one of my friends uploaded a photo of her thighs after they were spanked and it turned into a giant discussion regarding whether or not thighs should be spanked. Another time, a different friend uploaded a picture of her being spanked by a play partner and several girls started using the comments there as a place to brat their Tops. People start having side conversations. Someone comments on a photo to say something that's just about themselves and is only tangentially related to what's being pictured. A girl uses someone else's photo comment thread as a place to be disrespectful to someone who isn't even included in the picture in order to get attention. All of this is just, in my opinion, unacceptable. If you want to talk about something like whether or not thighs should be spanked, start a thread. If you want to brat your Top, go write on his wall or IM him. If you want to talk about yourself, post your own goddamn picture. I'm not saying that my pictures are uploaded just so that people will talk about me and pay attention to me, but it's still my photo, and that's not the right place for your discussion. You can argue this with me if you don't agree, but I really find that disrespectful to the person who posted the picture.

5) Your ass is too pale/Those marks are too much. 

I don't bruise like I used to. A really hard and severe spanking can leave me in a condition which photographs as "pink". I've accepted this. Not bruising is convenient when doing lots of shooting: it means that I can do back to back shoots and never have to worry about asking Tops not to mark me. It just doesn't always look as epic in the photos. People complain about this, or they diminish the intensity of the spanking that I received. "Nice warmup!" or "Off to a good start!" comments are always kind of snarky in a way that I don't appreciate. On the other hand, when I *do* have noticeable bruises, there's always someone who comments or otherwise points out to me that they think it's "too much for their taste." My spankings are tailored to me. I don't upload photos from something that wasn't a positive experience. If I'm bearing marks and I've photographed them, it's because *I like them.* Aren't you people ever satisfied?!

6) I like the one on the left. 

In general, I don't like it when I upload pictures of myself and people talk about me like I'm not involved. "I like that girl's ass." "She's got nice tits." Those aren't enough of a peeve to warrant me including them as a category here. What really bugs me is when I upload a picture of me in a group of girls and someone comments saying which one of us they like the best. This happens a lot with my Sternwood Academy pictures, or pictures of me hanging out with friends at parties. Someone will comment and say "The third girl in is the hottest!" or "I like the one on the left." Nothing makes a girl feel great like saying "Your friend is hotter than you, I just wanted to point that out!" It doesn't matter if the girl that they are singling out as "the hot one" is me or not. It just isn't nice. Not to mention that the language used in these comments is often really objectifying. Harumph.




-End of List of Things I Don't Like-

Because for the fast few months I've been trying to focus on the positive in life, I'm going to do a quick positive affirmation to make up for all the negativity in this post.

I get LOTS AND LOTS of awesome comments that make me feel great about myself. I love it when people take the time to let me know that they enjoyed what I wrote or a photograph of me. I love it when people tell me that my cuteness made their day. I love it when I inspire people to to take their own photos or write their own blogs. I love it when my friends are concerned about me and want me to be happy. I love my readers. I love it when people reblog tumblr pictures of me and attach my name and link to them when someone just uploaded a promotional picture or whatever. I love it when people comment on my blog to just say "I read your post and liked it." I love my friends. I love my boyfriends. I love my Bosses of Me. I love my sisters. I love spankings. I love my hair. I love my pajamas.

Also, I recently drew this as an assignment from YS. Pretty epic win, huh?

A Lesson in Passivity

Sleep has always been an issue for me. I began dealing with serious insomnia when I was in preschool. Although no one has ever come out and said that the two things are related, I also began to suffer from migraines around the same time. Getting to sleep has pretty much been a constant battle in my life. The other day, when I last wrote a blog post, I was writing after having been awake nearly all night. Malignus had gone to take a nap. I mentioned in my last post that we were going to a friend's birthday party that night, and the idea was that we would both nap before we went to this, so as to be perky and enjoyable people. I never got my brain slowed down enough to sleep. It just didn't happen. When Malignus got up from his nap, I let him know that this was the case. We talked a little and did a few other things, then, before I started getting ready to go out, he turned to me and said "Where's your hairbrush?"

Being a very suave and non-awkward girl, I responded with "Under the bed. What did you ask?"

Malignus told me that I was an awkward penguin before sitting on the edge of the bed and beckoning me to bring him the hairbrush.

I basically save my good lines and seamless transitions for when there's a camera

Once I was in position, we began a conversation about me being passive. Our very first few conversations about submission had focused on the differences between it's active and passive forms, and our earliest D/s interaction was about something very similar to what we were about to revisit: me making myself passive, vulnerable and comfortable in order to sleep. This is something that does not come naturally to me. Because I spent so much of my life before Malignus in a state of constant hypervigilance, I somehow ended up with the idea that because I am far more relaxed than I used to be on a regular basis that I was doing "better enough" at this and I therefore wasn't focusing on it enough. Honestly, though, my inability to be comfortable being passive has caused me three large problems:

1) I don't sleep because I spend about three or four hours (literally) thinking about things instead of letting my brain fall asleep. I basically fall asleep only when my body reaches a sufficient point of exhaustion, and I often end up getting so over tired that I'm prone to emotional conflagrations because I am just so tired that I start crying all over the place.

2) I don't experience "headspace" or "subspace" with the amount of frequency or ease that other submissives seem to. At the time we're discussing in this story, I'd only had a proper subspace experience twice and both times were after I'd been frequently and fairly severely spanked over the course of a weekend before the spanking which put me into subspace, so my resistance had been slowly but surely removed over a period of time.

3) I don't find many traditionally relaxing experiences relaxing. I actually had to take a freaking class on relaxation in college, during which they taught me ways to actively relax my body, probably because they had given up on me just doing it. Massage used to make me tighten my muscles that much more in response to the stimuli, and my mind kept working pretty constantly even during things like hot soaks or yoga.

Anyway, Malignus gave me a series of instructions about being passive to the spanking he was about to give me and to be aware of these things for the future so that I could use them to sleep. Other times, I'd struggled against the idea of being passive. It seemed too hard for me. This time, I wanted to be spanked, I wanted to be obedient and, most importantly, I wanted to learn what I was being taught. I was tired of hindering myself, and I just let go and passively accepted and reacted. Most importantly, I let my brain go. It was awesome. I got into a circle of gratification, because the more I took passively, the better I felt about myself and the better I felt about myself, the more I was able to take. When the spanking was over, I was quite sore, but I felt a strong sense of accomplishment, and the wonderful sense of closeness that I feel with someone after a spanking which was purposeful and communicative. I can feel their investment in me literally radiating through my body, and that leaves me feeling incredibly loved. I got really good sleep that night. I just chose to do it, and then I did it and I woke up feeling like an awesome person.

I've kept this lesson in my mind recently, and I've discovered its usefulness in other situations, such as the aforementioned subspace problem. This past weekend I attended a cabin spanking party (more details on that in an upcoming post) during which I found myself able to choose to be passive during some of the spankings which I received, and as a result, I floated off into nice, safe, snuggly parts of my brain with great ease.

I haven't slept enough recently, but it's been due to external stimuli and the burden of constantly traveling, but when I have slept, it's been high quality, sweet sleep.

It turns out that feeling relaxed is a very nice thing.

I'm off to do some more of that, since tomorrow I'm going to Disneyland with Lily Starr and Robert Wolf. Fuck. Yes.

Spanking Modeling: A Year in Review

Note: this post is extremely photo heavy. It's basically a walk down memory lane for my first year of modeling.

Just over a year ago, I did my first shoot as a spanking model. At the time, I set goals (as I often do) for the coming year. I tend to set my goals fairly high, and so I thought that a good point to strive towards would be working with ten sites or projects in my first year as a spanking model.

As it turns out, I've worked with seventeen, not counting my own clips store which I'm now operating.

I'm very proud of myself for this: I've had a lot of ups and downs, a couple of bad experiences and I've had my fair share of struggles in my personal life, but at the end of my first year, I feel that I'm doing really well.

My very first shoot was with Assume the Position Studios in Los Angeles (I'm currently also selling the content that we shot on my clips store). I remember the shoot well: I was very nervous, and still sort of a newcomer to the spanking scene in general. It was only less than a year before then that I had started going to munches and meeting people, instead of just interacting with SF, like I had done for the first many years of my spanking experience. The scenes that we shot were quite hard, still some of the hardest that I've done for a shoot, and they were taken at a time when I was still talented at bruising (I have since largely lost the ability to bruise).

I see this photo lots of places online without me being credited. That's my butt. :D

The second shoot that I did was pretty shortly thereafter: I shot with Lily Starr Spanking when Lily visited LA. That was an awesome shoot: I got to meet Lily, Robert and another friend of theirs, and we forged friendships that are still strong and vibrant today. The videos that we filmed then are also available on my store.

Lily's bear has ended up in a lot of videos with the two of us!

This is one of the only videos that includes me in the corner, which is still pretty much my natural habitat!

My third shoot was very exciting: I shot with Spanking Court, and once again, I met people who I continue to consider my very close friends. In this case, I got to meet Cali Katerina, Dana Kane, The Villain and more lovely people. This particular shoot was exciting because I had a full size paddle broken on my butt for the first time.

This shoot was the first time that I shot for a larger production company, and it was very exciting indeed. The video seems to be pretty popular, and it was released on VOD in addition to on the Spanking Court site.

The next shoot that I did was with Chelsea Pfeiffer for Good Spanking. It was a half hour "Chelsea Spanks" reality shoot, and it was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed Chelsea, and I love long spankings. This was around the time when I noticed that I wasn't really bruising anymore: I got spanked for a half an hour, and while my butt stayed red for a long time (more than overnight) it wasn't bruised. This was also released on DVD.

After this, I did another shoot with Lily Starr. This time, it was just the two of us, and we had lots of fun being girly and silly during the shoot.

But we ended things with a wet bottomed, fully nude bathbrush spanking which brought me to tears:

SAD FACE!

After that, I moved to Sioux Falls, and I didn't do a spanking video again until my visit to Los Angeles.

I did a second series with Assume the Position: this time, I got to hang out with fellow model Christy Cutie and along with photodave, we shot a fun set of videos called The Spanking Games. They were basically Hunger Games spanking fan fiction (only, you know, way less dark and more adorable).

Spanked again!

Christy and me :D

Literally the day after that, I shot with Clare Fonda and The Cameraman for Girl Spanks Girl. This was one of my most exciting shoots. We did several sets with looks that worked really well for me, and the story was perfectly suited for my personality. The story is called "The Bad Good Girl" and basically sums me up: I'm sweet and innocent, but I somehow get myself into trouble anyway and feel very regretful about it.

I like the photos from this shoot way too much, so I hope this sampling is not excessive:

And, I got to be the last woman to spank Clare on camera! Winner! 

I also shot with Lily and Robert again. This time, we did one cute, story based video a discipline video with me and Robert which ended up being very severe (and popular) indeed.

I love this angle

Yeah, that bruised.

After that, I did my next shoot for a DVD: Sternwood Academy. This was just an amazing shoot. I got to see Dana Kane, Cali Katerina and The Villain again, and I was lucky to meet Ela Darling and Cheyenne Jewel, who were total sweethearts. Sternwood was pretty much the most fun thing I've ever done in a plaid skirt, and I have done a lot of things in plaid skirts.

With Heather Green (and an awesome bow)

Cali Katerina, Ela Darling, me, Cheyenne Jewel and Heather Green

My next set of shooting took place at the Texas All State Spanking Party. I had the honor of shooting with Pandora Blake for Dreams of Spanking. We've taken some down time before releasing, but the first clip from this will be up on both our sites today! Here's a sneak peak:

Pandora was amazing, and I can't wait to work with her again. I'm..er.. very fond of her. Those are good words for it. :D

I also shot with Ten for Ten Amorette's Punishment Playhouse. We had a freaking blast with those clips, and they included me as a school girl getting into trouble as usual, me getting naked and spanking myself in front of the window and me making out with Ten. Not a bad mix, if you ask me. :D

Heather Green, Ten Amorette, me

 I also shot for Spanking 101 and Amateur Spankings during TASSP, but neither of these have been released to date. During Crimson Moon in July, I shot for a site called Saturday Spanking Club, but that site hasn't gone live yet.

My next batch of shoots was during my recent set of travels: I shot with Dallas Spanks Hard for my third DVD, this one is a feature entitled "Naughty Nightmare."

I also shot several new videos with Lily Starr (yeah, we did work in addition to eating sushi. Hard to believe, right?) This time, I topped her for the first time, which was very exciting for me. The video in which I top her also includes us kissing. Hot stuff. :D

Alex the Top!

Naked, sunburned, crying Alex the bottom!

I also did two of my own productions while in LA: one in association with my boyfriend, Just_Rafa (who is amazing in all ways) and my friend Maddy Marks:

I'm getting better and better at Topping. :D
The other was with Odette Delacroix, and is forthcoming.

My next set of shoots was with Firm Discipline in Texas. We did a boatload of videos together while I was there, including some pretty epic moments, like me, debs and Mila Kohl all getting spanked a row and me throwing debs and Heather Green into the pool.

After a thorough spanking

Fighting with my "sister" Mila

All lined up, and all marked up. 

Toppy Alex pwning debs

I felt that.

Spanking Heather Green OTK

After I threw them into the pool :P

I have, since then, done another shoot with Amateur Spankings and shot for Spanked Call Girls, Spanking Sorority Girls, Shadowlane and Northern Spanking, but I don't have any photos for those shoots yet, as they are as of now unreleased.

All in all, it's been a remarkable year, and far more amazing than I ever could have dreamed. Things are only getting more and more exciting, too, and I have lots of great plans for the future.
:D