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This blog contains adult material, including depictions and descriptions of nudity, consensual BDSM play and sexuality.
If you are a minor or are otherwise legally not permitted to view this content, or if you find this blog offensive for any other reason, you must click here to exit the page. Alex in Spankingland is vehemently opposed to the corporal punishment of children. Please click here for information on non-violent parenting.

Monday, July 23, 2012

SO MUCH STUFF!

I want to start tonight's post by saying thank you to everyone who reached out to me regarding last night's post, either in comments, via email or by way of fetlife message. It turns out that I'm not the only girl who feels too big sometimes. Having a problem to which there is no solution but to change one's attitude isn't actually improved upon by knowing that one is not the only individual struggling with said issue, but there's still something incredibly wonderful about knowing that you aren't alone. When these moments come up, when I get vulnerable and explain something which I believe makes me odd and I'm met with the support of my friends and the understanding of others who struggle with similar issues, I'm reminded of why I got into the community in the first place. I remember the first day that I realized that other people were into spanking and I wasn't some kind of bizarre weirdo. It's such a good feeling that it makes me tear up a little bit. I can't say enough times how thankful I am for the family that I've made in the scene. It seems to be constantly growing, too, and I'm grateful for that, as well. One can never have too many friends, and that's a scientific fact because Hello Kitty said so.

This weekend, I got to spend a little time with a girl who was meeting other spankos in real life for the very first time. We didn't really talk about things very much, because we haven't gotten to know each other well yet and I think that we both felt some level of shyness, but it made me really happy in the heart-bits. Aside from people who I met in the Vanilla world who later turned out to be spankos (like V. and Peachy Keane), I don't think I've ever been one of the first people that someone met in the community. I'm glad that I got to be part of that. :D

Well, now that I've gotten all the heartwarming stuff out of the way, it's time to talk about all sorts of cool developments that have been happening for me as a spanking model and spanking writer. I also want to add that I hate the word "heartwarming" because it sounds like "heart worming" to me and makes me think of diseased dogs. (I swear I haven't been drinking. It's just 90 degrees in the middle of the night and we don't have air conditioning in my bedroom. -_-)

You may have noticed that I was interviewed by The Cameraman over on The Spanking View recently! Here's a snippit from the interview:



CAMERAMAN: I don’t know if you realize this or not, but your first shoot with Clare Fonda was the last time she was spanked by a female.  Can you tell us about your experiences working with Clare and what was it like to spank her and get spanked by her?
ALEX:  I knew that my shoot with Clare was one of the last spanking shoots that she did. I didn’t know that I was the last female to spank her! That’s actually very exciting to hear: I guess that can be one of my “claims to fame.” When Clare and I had discussed the shoot during the planning phases, we hadn’t talked about me spanking her. It was something that we came up with near the end of the day. I was pretty nervous about it, because I’d never done a video where I topped and I wasn’t giggling the entire time! It was a scene that had quite a bit of talking in it, as well, but I managed to get into the right headspace to make myself sound Toppy. Once I got over feeling nervous about it, spanking Clare was a lot of fun. She was very responsive, and she has such a cute bottom, I just let myself get into it and stopped worrying about doing it perfectly. I think it turned out really well!
The whole experience of working with Clare was really great. She’s such a fun person. The scenes that we were doing were really well suited to my personality as a spankee: I really do think of myself as a good girl who is sometimes just very naughty and in need of correction, so getting into that character wasn’t any work at all. I enjoyed being spanked by Clare– she gave me hard but not brutal spankings, and her scolding was awesome to hear in person. I get the impression that a lot of girls don’t like doing so many scenes in one day (we shot all the scenes pretty much back-to-back) but for me, it was pretty much a dream come true! I’d watched a bunch of Clare’s videos ever since I first got on the internet, so spending the whole day getting spanked by her was an amazing experience. 



It's me, giving Clare Fonda her last spanking from a female! 


Anyway, you should check out the rest of the interview if you haven't already, and keep up with The Spanking View. I'm very fond of The Cameraman, and I'm looking forward to working with him again this fall. :D

Next, there's the fact that a snippet from one of my posts about TASSP was featured on Spanking Blog! This was tremendously exciting for me because I've read Spanking Blog for a long time: the site is actually how I discovered what a "blog" was, and I read it before I had even received my first spanking. So, that was pretty cool and exciting for me. It made me feel very "legit" when I looked at my top traffic sources and saw that one of them was from them. "Huh? People are getting to my site from there? This isn't a list of places that I've been looking at?" If you don't already follow them, you absolutely should. I like the way that they feature snippits from other people's posts and stories, and I've followed their crumbs to lots of great stuff.

Next, I'm very pleased to announce that my essay "Sex and Spanking: A Personal Perspective" was published in Wellred Weekly's issue 9. Wellred Weekly is a great spanking publication. Real care and effort goes into the selection of the pieces, the presentation on their site and keeping a balance between the various sorts of writing and features that they include. I was really honored when I was approached to be included, and I hope that you enjoy reading issue 9. :D

Last but most certainly not least, I've got my Clips 4 Sale store up and running after months and months of it...not happening for various reasons. I have more content that I'll be uploading weekly, and I have plans to shoot plenty of brand new, exclusive content. I'll be introducing a brand new, never before seen spanking model sometime soon, too.
Now that I'm producing my own clips, I'm open to suggestions. Just drop me a line at alexinspankingland@gmail.com. :)

Well, that's all for tonight! I need to go take an ice-cold shower before I try to get myself to pass out in order to avoid heat-exhaustion.
<3

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Drink me.

I'm going to get a bit personal here, for a moment, and talk about things that I normally keep to myself. 

At 5'8", I'm of fairly average height for a woman. I'm not particularly tall. At a 150 pounds and a dress size eight, I'm really quite average all around. 

I've never felt like it, though. I've always felt like this: 


Maybe it comes from the fact that I was told by doctors that I would likely grow up to be over 6' tall, and I began intentionally stunting my growth for fear of that when I was just a little girl. Maybe it's the fact that I was taller than my mother by the time that I was ten, and that I reached my current height before I entered middle school. Maybe it's the fact that one of my childhood best friends was so tiny that in third grade, our teacher couldn't see her over the desk and thought that she was absent on the first day. Maybe it was that I grew up in a small house with low ceilings and tiny rooms that gave me a sense of claustrophobia. Whatever it is, I never, ever wanted to grow. I always felt that I was too big. 

I've done various things to make myself seem smaller-- I wear lots of vertical stripes and clothing which is cropped in a way that shortens a person, I choose prints and patterns which are cute, dainty and diminutive, I slouch as much as I can possibly get away with (which I was doing fairly well for myself with, I felt, until Malignus decided that I needed to improve my posture) and I'm never seen wearing heels. I did bring a pair with me to TASSP, and it was the first time that I wore heels in as long as I can remember, certainly at least a year. 

There was one thing which I always took comfort in, sort of an adage that I'd come to love: "All girls are the same height when they're over a lap." I really, truly believed in this, and it did wonders for me. While being spanked OTK, no matter by whom, I felt truly small. I don't mean that I felt "little" or that I felt "young." I felt like a small thing, and it was an absolutely beautiful feeling. 

Recently, I was talking to one of my Tops about these feelings, and about how badly I wanted to have a smaller body, and I said "At least I can take comfort in the fact that when I'm over your lap, you can't tell!" 
"Well, you know that's not actually, true, right Alex?" he asked. I shook my head. I thoroughly believed that it was true. "I can still tell how far you stretch out to, and your center of gravity is still in the wrong place." 

I never believed in Santa, or in the Easter Bunny, or any of that stuff, and I originally didn't believe in God, then forced myself to, so when I stopped believing, it wasn't painful. As a result, this was the first time in my life that I really experienced having something which had previously been rather sacred to me taken away. 

You're sure? I'm still too big? 

I still haven't recovered from it, entirely. It never mattered to me what my size was compared to the person spanking me, but suddenly, it's become something which is on my mind. 
I know I'll get over it. I know I'll let go and stop worrying and let myself feel safe and good while being spanked. I'm just still a little heart broken. 

The day that I had that conversation, I called my doctor friend and my scientist friend and asked them if there was a way that I could be shrunk. When they promised me that there was no safe way, I started doing research on my own, JUST IN CASE. 

I know that I'm just going to have to find a way to accept myself. 


For a while now, I've been dating a boy here in Sioux Falls. He's clever and funny, he gets my sense of humor, and on our first date, we spent most of the time discussing Hume's empiricism. He's also 6'5" and extremely strong because he does physical work. For the first time since I was a teenager, I felt small beside him. I could put my hand up to his and feel like I had little, tiny fingers. He could pull me down with the tiniest of efforts on his part. We were just "getting there" romantically, but I had high hopes for it. See, I don't need all of my relationships to satisfy every part of me. That would be very against the point of Polyamory for me. I was hoping that if I had, for the first time since I was a girl, someone who made me feel small sometimes around, then I would get over the complex that I'm big in general. I imagined that having someone who made me feel small would make it so that I never felt "too big." I thought that it would make me alright with my body.


Sorry, not happening!



Anyway, it doesn't matter what I imagined might happen, because he met someone with whom he wants to have a monogamous relationship, so we won't be seeing each other anymore. 

I realized tonight, that this may actually be a good thing. There are no "drink me" bottles floating around, and I'm stuck with myself for the rest of my life. The truth of the matter is, I don't need someone else to make me feel good about myself. I have to rock what I've got and be truly confident in myself in order to be happy and successful. The way that I look or appear to others or seem next to them shouldn't influence the way that I feel. 

The truth of the matter is that I'm the only one who thinks that I'm so large that I take up the entire room and I've got my head on the ceiling, but as long as I'm seeing myself this way and acting like that, people *are* going to see that I'm not fully comfortable with myself. 

So, I'm going to be alright with myself, no matter where my center of gravity is. 
I'm not going to surround myself with environments that make me feel better about myself. I'm going to feel okay with myself.

I'm not entirely sure *how* I'm going to get there, but I know that I will, because I am nothing if not determined. 

Saturday, July 21, 2012

TASSP, Final Part

On the final day of TASSP, I got up fairly early in order to head to the Model's Brunch. I was very convinced that what I really wanted to do was sleep, but Malignus ordered me out of bed and into the shower, and so into the shower I got. Malignus left the room to go see who was around while I was bathing, and I worked shampoo into a rich, foamy lather in my hair. A minute later, though, there was a knock on the bathroom door. Apparently, Malignus had run into Pandora again. She and Amelia Jane were about to shoot a clip for Dreams of Spanking, but the Top had bailed on them for some reason. While Malignus was wandering around looking to see who was awake, she had run into him and asked him if he could fill in. This was, in the long term, very exciting news indeed! In the short term, it meant that he was kicking me out of the shower so that he could get ready, so I ended up standing around naked in a towel with shampoo in my hair for the next fifteen minutes. >_<

The clip which they shot is called "Business or Pleasure" and involves my gentleman companion playing a corrupt TSA agent who catches Pandora and Amelia lying about their reasons for entering the US, then gives them the choice of deportation or a spanking. It would be a very short and disinteresting video had they selected deportation. Instead, both girls got strapped and *then* OTK spankings. I've never had that combination before, personally, but it looks like it turned out well and was worth me shivering for a bit over. Anyway, I'm quite pleased by Malignus' debut as a spanking performer, and I'm glad that he got to do it with such wonderful people. 

I eventually got to finish showering and then spent some time with drlectr and Ten, and I went to the Model's Brunch. Unfortunately, I missed the group photo because I had been called upon to change our flight reservations at that time, but I did get to have a final chat and hug with some awesome ladies. 

With Christy Cutie and Casey Calvert. 

Once I got our reservation straightened out, I spent some time shooting clips for Ten's site. We did some excellent ones, including one in which Ten and I make out before she spanks me and one where Ten, Heather and I all get caned for drinking while dressed as schoolgirls. I'll be sure to let you know when those are released, because they're pretty much "must see" videos. :D

I got to watch some other videos be filmed, Malignus went off to spank some more girls, and then, before we knew it, the weekend was over and it was time to head to the airport to go back to Sioux Falls. It wasn't the best trip back ever and involved me crying in the airport as I thought about all the people I was leaving behind and I started to suffer party-drop for the first time. It was not a pleasant feeling. I still haven't gotten over how much I miss everyone! 

All in all, though, the party was an amazing experience. I'm excited to say that I have another one coming up in less than a week! I'm heading to Chicago Crimson Moon for my second party, which is quite exciting indeed. I have lots of plans for the weekend, including some shooting, some catching up with friends and spending as much time OTK as possible. 

After talking to various other models who did private spanking sessions at TASSP, I decided that I'm going to give pro-bottoming a try. I've still got some openings for sessions at Crimson Moon, if anyone is interested! You can shoot me an email at alexinspankingland@gmail.com if you'd like to book one. I promise, I'm pretty awesome. :)

I learned a few things from TASSP, which I will be implementing at Crimson Moon:
1) Take lots of photos. I didn't do nearly enough of this at TASSP because I was too busy running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I'm going to make sure to get lots of fun photos next time (of course, I'll only be getting photos with people who consent to be photographed in them!)
2) Plan ahead. I've been making sure that I get all the contact information I need and doing as much scheduling as possible in advance. It gets tricky at a party!
3) Go ahead and pack EVERYTHING. I actually didn't bring enough clothes with me to TASSP, which I'm sure anyone who saw my suitcase wouldn't believe. I like to change my clothes a lot.
4) Go to as many scheduled events as possible. They seem to be a great way to meet people and have fun, and I scheduled over/slept through a lot of them at TASSP.

I'm really jazzed for my next adventure. I can't wait to tell you all about it (in a timely manner, this time, considering that I've been accumulating a half hour of cornertime for every day when I don't work on my blog). 

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

TASSP Part 3

The morning of my second day at TASSP, I had planned with Pandora Blake to shoot some videos for our respective sites. This was very exciting indeed-- I had developed a bit of an internet crush on Pandora, and I was really looking forward to spending more time around her. We'd gotten to chat in Ten's room the night before, during which time she assisted me in drawing a cat on the bottom of IMLX's foot. I knew we were going to be good friends.

So, that morning, I arrived at Ten's room rather bright and early, considering that we'd been up late partying. Amelia was there, as well, and the two of them were already quite put together and perky. Ten and drlectr had a beautiful suite, where we did all of our filming that weekend. Pandora and I filmed two scenes, which will be released later on both my site and Dreams of Spanking, during which time I'll be making my international debut. Amelia was very helpful in creating the scenes, and I really enjoyed both girls' abilities to think on their feet and role play. This is something I've been trying to get my skills up in, and I think I did a fairly good job. I'll save the story lines of both videos for when they are released, but Pandora spanked me thoroughly in both of them, and we had a ball filming.

There was a funny moment when Pandora needed to put on a garter belt (in England, a "suspender belt," which happens to be the word that I usually use as well, because it's a concept that I was introduced to by SF's wife) to go with some stockings, but she only had cute, cotton panties with aliens on them. The look was kind of epic win. It had to be documented.



After we finished filming, Malignus was waiting for me to meet up with him for something that we'd been waiting for for a while now: the Vendor Fair. I like vendor fairs in general, because I love looking at implements and kink related things, and this was my first spanking only vendor fair. It was a much bigger deal than that: we were running a booth.

For a while now, Malignus and I have been working on a business project: a modeling agency for spanking models, run by real spankos who are familiar with the business. We'd worked hard on the behind the scenes things for some time, and had agreed that we were going to unveil for the first time at TASSP. We made up flyers and business cards, and we had everything ready to go. Zoey Wicks, who we had met on the first day and who had been talking to Malignus for a while beforehand, had helped Malignus staple a bunch of packets together while I was shooting with Pandora, and she and Heather helped Malignus and I man the booth.

There will be lots of posting about the Agency later on, but for now, I'll say this: we're working with some great models thus far and are building awesome connections in terms of production companies. Starting something like this from the ground up has been a tremendous amount of work, and it's part of the reason that you have seen a decreased amount of posting from me before Scotchgrove got on my case about working on posts every day. There's literally an infinite amount of things that need to be done, but it's rewarding work. Having our table at the vendor fair and giving out our information was very, very rewarding.

If you want more information about being represented or have questions about what we do at the Agency, shoot us an email at malexcompany@gmail.com. Please don't email that address with questions concerning my blog or my personal modeling career-- those still go to alexinspankingland@gmail.com.

Anyway, the vendor fair was a great success, even though I didn't buy anything. I did get a few spankings from drlectr in order to draw attention over to my booth (which was right next to Ten's). During the fair, there was a silent auction to benefit the American Cancer Society. Items had been donated and we all were able to go around and bid on them. I bid on two things: a set of implements including a vintage hairbrush (I don't even remember what the others were because that was the one that I wanted) and a heart shaped wooden paddle. I've been trying to get a vintage hairbrush again ever since the one that S_F gave me ages ago was stolen out of my purse at a munch, but, probably because normal people also collect vintage toilet items, they are always expensive on eBay and they never show up at thrift stores because the idea of buying a "thrift" toilet item is gross. The heart shaped paddle was just adorable and I love cute things. I didn't win either of my lots, but a friend bid on the heart paddle on my behalf and won it. He then gave it to me as a gift. How sweet is that ? :D

Immediately after the vendor fair, Heather and I went to get ready to do a shoot with Paul "Tubaman" Rodgers for Spanking 101. It was a very fun shoot because Heather and I were both being spanked in it! As I've previously stated, I love working with Heather in videos. We give each other tips and tricks in the "backstage" and she has such a great energy on set. Besides, I'd imagine that the fact that we're real-life best friends shows through pretty well on camera. In this video, though, we were pretending to be for-real sisters instead of just spanko-sisters, and we took turns getting pulled over Paul's lap to be punished for staying out too late. It was a lot of excitement: first I was standing there, watching Heather get spanked and looking very worried indeed, then I was the one getting spanked! Then it was over, but only for a minute, and I had to watch Heather again and so on. I haven't seen it yet, but I bet that video turned out really well, given everyone's chemistry.

Paul is an awesome spanker, by the way. He spanked me on the first night because I'd lost my lanyard and name tag already and I asked him for a new one, and then sheepishly asked him to correct me for losing it (this may have been a very well played move on my part, since I avoided "actual" trouble for losing my name tag). He took me by the wrist and brought me over to the sofa, then put me over his lap and spanked me with his hand. I was really impressed with the strength of his hand spanking! Only a handful of other Tops had made that level of impression within a few swats with their hand. Anyway, I really enjoyed being spanked by him for the video, as well, and can't wait to get a chance to work with him again.

I spent lots of time hanging out with friends, and then I had yet another shoot! I met up with Gary from Amateur Spankings earlier and asked him if I could work with him for his site and he said yes! I had already kind of assumed that I wasn't the kind of girl that they were looking for since they state that their models "aren't spanking models," but he hired me for an interview and a quick spanking. I do have that "girl next door" kind of look. It was very fun getting interviewed on camera. I've been interviewed for blogs twice before, now, but I'd never been interviewed "live." I told him the story of my first spanking, and about how I thought about spanking growing up, and about how I came to be part of "the scene" and do videos and have an amazing boyfriend who lovingly spanks the living daylights out of me on a regular basis.

I was finished with this shoot slightly after the start of dinner, so I snuck in to find that Malignus and company had not only saved me a spot, they had saved me my meal. It was sitting under one of those little metal domes for keeping food warm that I'd only seen in movies up until then. I ate happily as there were a series of entertainment acts performed. Sarah Gregory and Princess Kelley sang, Art Amiss did a hilarious standup comedy routine and BlackVelvet did a spanking themed parody song. It was a lot of fun, and the food was excellent.

The rest of the night was a blur of having fun with friends in various ways. I played with a lot of people, had some excellent private time with people that I love and spent lots of time chatting and making new friends.

By the time I got ready for bed, I was very happily red-bottomed and incredibly sleepy. I slept well throughout the night.

Well spanked in pajamas! Bedtime!

In the current world, I am also going to bed! What a coincidence! I'll finish the story of TASSP and move on to other tales before the end of this week. <3


Monday, July 16, 2012

TASSP part 2 and Other Things

I've had a problem ever since TASSP.

I've wanted to write about other things, but I've felt guilty because there was so much that I *could* write about from TASSP, so I've insisted that I won't write about anything else until TASSP has been completed. Now, we're left a month after the party with very few posts to my blog since it indeed, only one short installment of the tale completed and several significant things, such as my very exciting Mad Scientist Roleplay Scenario and my twenty fifth birthday entirely unmentioned.

I really love blogging, but I've been disappointingly without discipline with regards to it recently, and the longer I go without writing, the harder it is to start again, especially when it seems like every entry I'm promising to do better at it and then not writing the next day. I had a long conversation with Scotchgrove tonight, part of which focused on this not blogging business. He decided that due to my current schedule, I should be able to post to my blog daily, and he's decided to hold me to this standard (remember, he is The Boss of Me).

For those who may have been confused

So, in order to get the ball rolling on this new dedication to posting every day, I'm going to start to finish telling you about TASSP. Honestly, it's been a bit of time, and I don't really remember the order in which everything happened, so it may just be my best approximation in that regard. I'd also like to add that it's going on 3:00 AM while I'm writing this and I'm suffering from insomnia, so it's likely that this won't be my most clear or articulate post.

Following the naughty school girl party, I had planned to do a mass school girl shoot with my very excellent friend, Ten Amorette, her partner and another excellent friend, drlectr and a gaggle of amazing spanking models. Unfortunately, I arrived to this shoot somewhat late due to a failure to communicate about when, exactly, the naughty school girl party ended, since I ducked out with Heather to make sure that she was all set for her shoot and stuff (alright, because I was a bit attached at the hip with her after having not seen her for a month. She is, after all, my best friend!) and I ended up being somewhat late. I arrived to find that the filming had already started. This was easily taken care of, however. The plot of the scene involved a group of girls getting busted for having a keg and drinking in their room, and so my character simply walked in looking for the beer, only to find a very angry principal yielding a paddle. The fact that I never got to taste any of that beer didn't excuse me from getting a series of hard swats!

I love filming with a large group of models because we all start playing off each other and one thing leads to another. It becomes full of energy and very authentic. I also love filming with Ten, because she's pretty much the most fun person ever, and she constantly cracks me up with her antics when she's in character. This video will be being released for free, so once it is, I'll make mention of it here and give you lovely people a link. It's certainly something worth watching (probably again, and again, and again).

Later that night, I attended a dinner during which mashed potatoes were served in martini glasses (which was a bit confusing but still quite delicious) and my dinner entertainment included watching Amelia Jane Rutherford get a paddling. "The English girls" (as people tended to refer to Pandora and Amelia) were very fascinated with the American style paddles-- in England, most people's definition of a paddle is some lovely leather thing, and the two of them seemed very eager to get the "American cultural experience" of being spanked with an awful wooden one. As a brief side note, I find it rather interesting that the traditional English implements have very little room for "thud": the only thing that I can think of which seems to be popular over there and thuddy are those awful, ebony hairbrushes (which, as far as I'm concerned, England may keep, and there must be some sort of International Spanking Ordinance that protects me from awful things like that when I'm abroad). Amelia appeared quite impressed with the Spencer paddling that she received over dinner, and the more I saw of her, the more impressed I became with Amelia herself.

Sometime after dinner, I wound up in Tubaman's suite, wherein there was a mountain of implements laying on the table which were to be sold at the vendor faire the next day, but which were available to be tested until then. Malignus and I had some fun digging through the pile to find unusual things, which he then gave me a few solid whacks with. This endeavor started out with him procuring a wooden sword and giving me a quick spanking with it. I was incredibly surprised by how much it hurt, and I think I made a rather excessive amount of noise about it. I got spanked with a number of different materials and unusual pervertables, including a neoprene tube (despite my insistence that I've somehow developed an allergy to the substance), a few unusual canes, a pyrex paddle and a fan blade. The most interesting thing that we found in the pile, however, was a real, rhino-skin sjambok. It was very different than the rubber monstrosity which is currently resting under my bed as I write this. It was much shorter and much more dense, but of an equal level of flexibility. Malignus did not lay into me with it and used quite a bit of care when he gave me a sample of it, but I still found it to be quite formidable. Still, it was an exciting thing to be able to tell people I've experienced!

I spent the majority of the evening in Ten's suite, as my I recall, where I got spanked by a number of awesome people. drlectr also gave me a nice, long, OTK lotioning, which sent me into a very snuggly and sleepy place. I was actually quite amazed by how relaxed I felt that first night. The world seemed to be moving at a million miles a minute around me, I'd just been spanked by people whose names I couldn't even remember, I'd booked myself an extremely full day starting in the morning and I was surrounded by people that I didn't quite know but wanted to know. None the less, I felt as if I hadn't a care in the world. My spanko shame was nearly entirely gone. I lay there with my bottom bare and reddened for an entire party worth of people to see, and all I felt was good. My bottom was, after the lotion, the perfect combination of sore and soothed, and I felt incredibly safe in my vulnerability.

This was taken after I came back to the room.


That evening, as I prepared for bed, Malignus called me over for my bedtime spanking. Pillows were already laid out on the bed from other scening, so I grabbed my special face pillow and plopped over them. I was very surprised to see him approaching me with a short, delring cane. I'm sure I scrunched my face at him. "But Mallliiiiiiiigggnuuuuus!" I said, "bedtime spankings aren't supposed to be mean. And besides, I'm shooting tomorrow! I can't have cane stripes!" Malignus promised me that he did not intend to mark me, and I knew that I had every reason in the world to trust him. He began to spank me in a style which I can only call tapping. He moved the cane back and forth very quickly but without ever giving a full stroke. It was very snappy, though, and even though minimal force was being used, the delrin stung, and I soon found myself crying out. After a few moments of this, though, it became pleasantly percussive, and I relaxed into it. It reinforced the safe, sleepy feeling I had experienced earlier, and while it didn't send me to subspace (I don't have the right visas to enter under casual circumstances, it seems), it did fill me with a lovely dose of endorphins. This was a neat new experience, as I'd never had a relaxing caning before. After that, I snuggled into bed with my head on Malignus' chest and fell asleep, excited to wake up to a series of new adventures in the morning.