TASSP part 2 and Other Things

I've had a problem ever since TASSP.

I've wanted to write about other things, but I've felt guilty because there was so much that I *could* write about from TASSP, so I've insisted that I won't write about anything else until TASSP has been completed. Now, we're left a month after the party with very few posts to my blog since it indeed, only one short installment of the tale completed and several significant things, such as my very exciting Mad Scientist Roleplay Scenario and my twenty fifth birthday entirely unmentioned.

I really love blogging, but I've been disappointingly without discipline with regards to it recently, and the longer I go without writing, the harder it is to start again, especially when it seems like every entry I'm promising to do better at it and then not writing the next day. I had a long conversation with Scotchgrove tonight, part of which focused on this not blogging business. He decided that due to my current schedule, I should be able to post to my blog daily, and he's decided to hold me to this standard (remember, he is The Boss of Me).

For those who may have been confused

So, in order to get the ball rolling on this new dedication to posting every day, I'm going to start to finish telling you about TASSP. Honestly, it's been a bit of time, and I don't really remember the order in which everything happened, so it may just be my best approximation in that regard. I'd also like to add that it's going on 3:00 AM while I'm writing this and I'm suffering from insomnia, so it's likely that this won't be my most clear or articulate post.

Following the naughty school girl party, I had planned to do a mass school girl shoot with my very excellent friend, Ten Amorette, her partner and another excellent friend, drlectr and a gaggle of amazing spanking models. Unfortunately, I arrived to this shoot somewhat late due to a failure to communicate about when, exactly, the naughty school girl party ended, since I ducked out with Heather to make sure that she was all set for her shoot and stuff (alright, because I was a bit attached at the hip with her after having not seen her for a month. She is, after all, my best friend!) and I ended up being somewhat late. I arrived to find that the filming had already started. This was easily taken care of, however. The plot of the scene involved a group of girls getting busted for having a keg and drinking in their room, and so my character simply walked in looking for the beer, only to find a very angry principal yielding a paddle. The fact that I never got to taste any of that beer didn't excuse me from getting a series of hard swats!

I love filming with a large group of models because we all start playing off each other and one thing leads to another. It becomes full of energy and very authentic. I also love filming with Ten, because she's pretty much the most fun person ever, and she constantly cracks me up with her antics when she's in character. This video will be being released for free, so once it is, I'll make mention of it here and give you lovely people a link. It's certainly something worth watching (probably again, and again, and again).

Later that night, I attended a dinner during which mashed potatoes were served in martini glasses (which was a bit confusing but still quite delicious) and my dinner entertainment included watching Amelia Jane Rutherford get a paddling. "The English girls" (as people tended to refer to Pandora and Amelia) were very fascinated with the American style paddles-- in England, most people's definition of a paddle is some lovely leather thing, and the two of them seemed very eager to get the "American cultural experience" of being spanked with an awful wooden one. As a brief side note, I find it rather interesting that the traditional English implements have very little room for "thud": the only thing that I can think of which seems to be popular over there and thuddy are those awful, ebony hairbrushes (which, as far as I'm concerned, England may keep, and there must be some sort of International Spanking Ordinance that protects me from awful things like that when I'm abroad). Amelia appeared quite impressed with the Spencer paddling that she received over dinner, and the more I saw of her, the more impressed I became with Amelia herself.

Sometime after dinner, I wound up in Tubaman's suite, wherein there was a mountain of implements laying on the table which were to be sold at the vendor faire the next day, but which were available to be tested until then. Malignus and I had some fun digging through the pile to find unusual things, which he then gave me a few solid whacks with. This endeavor started out with him procuring a wooden sword and giving me a quick spanking with it. I was incredibly surprised by how much it hurt, and I think I made a rather excessive amount of noise about it. I got spanked with a number of different materials and unusual pervertables, including a neoprene tube (despite my insistence that I've somehow developed an allergy to the substance), a few unusual canes, a pyrex paddle and a fan blade. The most interesting thing that we found in the pile, however, was a real, rhino-skin sjambok. It was very different than the rubber monstrosity which is currently resting under my bed as I write this. It was much shorter and much more dense, but of an equal level of flexibility. Malignus did not lay into me with it and used quite a bit of care when he gave me a sample of it, but I still found it to be quite formidable. Still, it was an exciting thing to be able to tell people I've experienced!

I spent the majority of the evening in Ten's suite, as my I recall, where I got spanked by a number of awesome people. drlectr also gave me a nice, long, OTK lotioning, which sent me into a very snuggly and sleepy place. I was actually quite amazed by how relaxed I felt that first night. The world seemed to be moving at a million miles a minute around me, I'd just been spanked by people whose names I couldn't even remember, I'd booked myself an extremely full day starting in the morning and I was surrounded by people that I didn't quite know but wanted to know. None the less, I felt as if I hadn't a care in the world. My spanko shame was nearly entirely gone. I lay there with my bottom bare and reddened for an entire party worth of people to see, and all I felt was good. My bottom was, after the lotion, the perfect combination of sore and soothed, and I felt incredibly safe in my vulnerability.

This was taken after I came back to the room.

That evening, as I prepared for bed, Malignus called me over for my bedtime spanking. Pillows were already laid out on the bed from other scening, so I grabbed my special face pillow and plopped over them. I was very surprised to see him approaching me with a short, delring cane. I'm sure I scrunched my face at him. "But Mallliiiiiiiigggnuuuuus!" I said, "bedtime spankings aren't supposed to be mean. And besides, I'm shooting tomorrow! I can't have cane stripes!" Malignus promised me that he did not intend to mark me, and I knew that I had every reason in the world to trust him. He began to spank me in a style which I can only call tapping. He moved the cane back and forth very quickly but without ever giving a full stroke. It was very snappy, though, and even though minimal force was being used, the delrin stung, and I soon found myself crying out. After a few moments of this, though, it became pleasantly percussive, and I relaxed into it. It reinforced the safe, sleepy feeling I had experienced earlier, and while it didn't send me to subspace (I don't have the right visas to enter under casual circumstances, it seems), it did fill me with a lovely dose of endorphins. This was a neat new experience, as I'd never had a relaxing caning before. After that, I snuggled into bed with my head on Malignus' chest and fell asleep, excited to wake up to a series of new adventures in the morning.

Product Review: Paddles and Panties

The story of some of the ridiculous things that have happened recently and which have prevented me from attending to my blog as thoroughly as I would like to shall be appearing soon. It's more important to me to get this post up, first, and then chatter on about myself. Not like I won't be chattering on in this post, but, you know!

I love underpants. I love them far too much. I like plain ones and lacy ones, cute ones and crazy ones and everything in between. One thing I had never had, however, were spanking related panties. The closest thing that I had were my "GUILTY" panties from my shoot with Spanking Court, which I absolutely love.

When I was given these at Spanking Court, I asked Katerina where they came from. She directed me to her site, Paddles and Panties, where I proceeded to oogle over just about everything. The idea of selling implements and underpants in the same place is so perfect. I'm far too fond of obtaining both of those things.

Paddles and Panties is great for several reasons, besides basically being one-stop-shopping for spankos. They offer a series of underpants with cute, spanking related sayings on the butt, and I'm happy to report that they don't discriminate. They are available for men and in female plus sizes as well as standard female sizing. The panties themselves are well made and fit comfortably, and the text is screen-printed on in a way that looks great and holds up well to washing. I can't say anything about dryers, though, since I hang all my underwear to dry.

The phrases available are cute and witty, and since they're made up by a spanko, they're things that many of us will relate to. :)

"Paddled to Perfection"

The phrases are in a variety of fonts and colors, which mixes things up quite a bit.

I'm personally very into wearing these panties to work under my regular clothes. It makes me feel the same sort of "getting away with something secret" feeling that I get when I'm hiding bruises under my skirt!

"Seat of Education"

These are also sure to be hits at spanking parties, and make for a fun "reveal" when you pull your pants down or raise your skirt to reveal the message!

"100% Spankable" (I'll replace this with a better photo once I get some help: taking photos of your own butt is hard!)

I have had a chance to be spanked with several of the implements sold on their site, as well, and they're quality stuff. I'm most familiar with their wooden pieces, and they really sting a lot! I also discovered that the horrible black spoon which Dana Kane spanked us Sternwood Girls with comes from them! That was an unforgettable implement. It was one of the worst spoons ever (pretty much only topped by "Ben"). You can pick that up if you really want to teach someone a lesson or eight!

They also have this fun thing called "Spanko Lotto" which is basically a scratch off lottery card for spanking! You pick a box and it tells you how many swats and with what implement you are to be spanked. It's a fun little thing and really adorable.

I recommend that you check their site out and pick up one or two items that catch your eye. They're run by awesome people who are offering a unique and well made product. I give them my highest "marks." :P

Review: Rods by Rane Acrylic Rods

When Heather, Malignus and I were in Los Angeles, we attended an event called Bizarre Bazar. There were a bunch of vendors and lots of fun, kinky events. At the vendor fair, Heather picked out her first personal implement: a green, acrylic cane made by Rods by Rane, an implement seller local to California.

Photo from Rods by Rane's site

The cane is very pretty, and it seems to vary intensities quite well. It's also a good mid-length cane: a bit long for OTK, but easy to get locational accuracy and use in smaller spaces. Because it's acrylic and not particularly long, it's one of the most "stern" or rigid canes that we've used (aside from bamboo and thicker lexan canes). It has a deep, penetrating, straight-to-the-bone kind of cutting, thuddy pain when used with a lot of force. When the Top wants it to be, it can be one of more intimidating implements. When used lightly, it can be relaxingly percussive or fall into the area of "almost nice".

Here's a photo after 30 strokes I received from Malignus:

The bruise on the left was caused by a paddling I received the day before.

As my good friend Maddy can attest, (since she has a rod from them as well, affectionately known as "the blue thing") these canes are killer when used on thighs.

Heather's original cane broke when Malignus was giving me a beating with it, but when I emailed Rane about it, he was extremely personable and friendly. He sent a replacement piece, along with a thin, more flexible, stingy cane in pink acrylic to make up for the trouble. The thinner cane is ridiculously stingy. It takes minimal effort for a Top to snap it back and forth in a way that makes it look like little is happening, but feels like you are being stung by a lot of bees.

Photo from Rods by Rane's Site

We used the green cane in our St. Patrick's day caning video. I'd absolutely recommend the 1/2 inch canes for anyone who wants a nice, mid length, versatile acrylic cane. The color selection is great and you can find ones that fit various holidays or themes like we did in the video. The thinner, 3/8 inch cane needs to be used properly to be effective: using it like a heavier cane or with too much momentum would probably cause it to break. It doesn't require much effort or force, but would be ideal for Tops with finesse in their spanking style.

Rods by Rane's site also sells acrylic bundles to be used for sensation play and spiral canes. I've seen these "Unicorn Horn" style canes a few places and I've been curious about them, but I've yet to give them a try. They're very pretty to look at, though! It's a very specialized store: they only sell pieces made of acrylic and they only sell rods/canes/bundles. No paddles in their line up. It's not exactly one-stop-shopping for all your beating needs, but if you're looking for what they offer, it's definitely a place to check out.

Tricky Pervertables

I've often daydreamed about a world where spankos took up enough of the market that pervertables marketed themselves towards us. Imagine a world where you could read the blurb on the back of the a hairbrush and have it point out that besides having high quality bristles for hair brushing, the spanking surface on the back is made of durable wood for an excellent combination of sting and thud.

Alas, this isn't the case. No one seems to want to admit why, exactly, people prefer wooden spoons to the plastics and silicone coated one (I'm not even ALLOWED to use wooden spoons in the kitchen!) and the world seems to think that there are people who wash themselves with brushes in the shower (weird).

There is, however, some marketing being done to spanko bottoms in a very tricky way. The people who make pervertables are trying to sell more by subtly convincing us that they won't be so bad. The first time I noticed this trend was when I saw a particular bathbrush show up on several people's fetlife profiles. I recently purchased this for five dollars at Walmart:

The sticker reads "Soft and Cruelty Free!"

No. Incorrect. I haven't been hit with it yet, but I know for a fact that bathbrushes are neither of those things. I don't think someone could make a bathbrush spanking nice if they tried.

I noticed the next one in a local cooking store and made a very scrunchy face indeed at the false advertising:

The brand on this wooden turner is "SoftWorks." This doesn't even make sense. It doesn't have a soft and cushy handle. It isn't meant to be used on something soft. It's wood, for the love of all that is reasonable! Wood isn't soft. I suppose wood chips could be soft, the kind one would use to line a rabbit hutch or something, but that's the only time that wood can ever be described as anything other than hard.

Finally, my spanko-sister, PeachyKeane, sent me this as part of a care package:

I understand that this is a plastic hairbrush, but that doesn't make it ouchless. If I've learned one thing in my spankolife, it's that anything with a handle can be used for spanking and anything that can be used for spanking can be made to hurt. Even things that technically can't be used for spanking (like a dishtowel) can be made to hurt. Don't fall for this trap. I bet it can still be ouchful.

It's a pretty clever method of increasing sales, though. A female bottom in the market for a brush for her hair could very well want to pick one that can't also be used on her poor, innocent bottom. In the past, I've avoided this by choosing pink and girly hairbrushes that Tops wouldn't want to touch. I've heard that other girls enjoy those entirely round brushes that have no spanking surface at all. Now that I've purchased four bathbrushes, when I put them all next to each other, the one that tells me it's cruelty free DOES seem a little less terrifying. I'm not buying the "soft" wood, though. Screw you, wooden spoons. I've had more than enough of you recently! (Does this attitude come from a recent experience that has left me with residual soreness? Why yes it does.)

Strange Sense of Humor

I haven't been posting for the past few days. This is primarily because I haven't been sleeping well. The less I sleep, the weirder my brain gets. For one thing, I tend to be pretty cranky, unless I get that under control (like I finally managed to do tonight.) When I'm not being moody and getting annoyed over tiny things, I get strange. Malignus once told me that when he gets sleep deprived he can feel parts of his brain shutting down. I'm kind of at that stage, too. Unfortunately, the first thing to go seems to be "making sense to other people." So, we'll see how this blog post goes. 

I think I have kind of a strange sense of humor to begin with, but it's certainly been weirder the past couple of days. Example:

Yesterday, Malignus gave me a rather hard spanking. It started like this: I was wearing long underwear with pajamas over it. He hit me (not that hard) on the thigh and I pointed out the fact that I said "Ow!" despite the fact that I was wearing multiple layers of clothing. Using Top Logic®, he took this as a challenge. He decided that he was going to give me my spanking for the day over the clothes I was wearing. Then he decided that he was going to give it to me RIGHT THEN! 

So I got spanked really hard with a giant, hard plastic spoon called "The Killamajig,"plus this thing and our acrylic cane from caneiac, which is in close competition with my nylon cane for "cane that hurts the most ever invented." Despite wearing all these clothes, I was still crying hard and rolling around on the bed. Then he told me to bare my bottom for the last few, which had a pretty powerful psychological effect on me (if it hurts this much with all this protection...) and took me a second to do. Those last few were certainly memorable.  When it was finished, I spent a while crying and wiping my face off while he spent a while being very pleased with himself indeed. I adore that: there's really nothing better than a sadist who is pleased with his work. 

(NOTE: THIS IS NOT THE FUNNY PART. That was background.) 

I was proud of my marks, so I took a few photos. They were missing a little "pizzaz" or something, though: the lighting in our apartment isn't ideal for photo taking, and it's much harder without my giant mirror that used to serve my butt photography purposes so well. I didn't upload any of them.

Then it hit me: I knew what I needed to do:

Mission accomplished. I'm way, way, WAY too amused by this. Every time I look at it, I literally lol. 

Additionally, tonight, one of my friends and I went to the grocery store to pick up some snacks and we stumbled upon this:

It's a plastic spoon with a scared face! It makes me so, so, so happy! Even though I had sworn off purchasing implements, I HAD to buy it. The thing is solid, too, and different than any plastic spoon I've ever felt in composition. When the cashier picked it up to scan she said "Woah, that's heavier than I expected it to be!" My friend, who is also a kinkster and knew exactly what the spoon was for, and I said "YEP!" in unison. I hardly made it through the rest of the transaction without bursting into laughter. 

LOOK AT THE FACE! It's so perfect. 

I need sleep. -_-

Your Wish is My Command: Lexan

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Beyond Pervertables

I only recently moved beyond pervertables in my exploration of spanking implements. There are so many pervertables to choose from and it makes the entire world feel like a treasure hunt! Still, there's something to be said for having dedicated implements, and I've gotten just as much enjoyment from tracking those down. So far, these are the only toy producers that I've played with items from. I'd love further recommendations.


Cane-iac: Cane-iac is the site from which I've acquired the most implements. I have two different rattan canes, an 18" delrin cane, a lexan OTK paddle, a rubber paddle, an acrylic paddle, a polypropylene paddle, a "smack stick" and a very small acrylic rod, mostly used for flicking. The thing which is the most impressive about Cane-iac's collection is the fact that despite all the things I own from them, I've barely scratched the surface of what they offer. I've never had any of their wooden or leather implements, and they have a ton of other interesting synthetic options. They are always adding new items to their site, too. When my TNG group had a Toy Show and Tell meeting, I introduced several of my friends to their products, and everyone, whether spankos, sadomasochists or sensual players, found them impressive. Plus, their prices are extremely reasonable. I'm definitely a fan.

Canes 4 Pain: I don't own any implements from Canes 4 Pain yet, but I was caned with one during my first photo shoot. I was delighted to discover that my butt appears on their page :D. They certainly get my bottom's seal of approval!

Canes 4 Pain has some items that are a bit hardcore even for me (like the Sanibel Beach Canes) and others that are extremely ornate and very lovely indeed. Their less complicated models are elegant and extremely effective. They certainly seem sturdy and I like the idea of supporting an artistan. They're on the list of "places to buy things from when I eventually get money to throw around."

Kitty's Exotic Paddles: I've been spanked with Kitty's paddles during two of my shoots. They're a remarkable combination of being a total work of art and really, really solid. Those paddles hurt! They pack a punch! And they're just gorgeous :D They're so nice to touch, because of the texture, that those into sensation play would probably enjoy running them over a body. When my video with Chelsea Pfieffer is released, look for some Kitty related banter :P Once I get enough funds, I'll certainly be investing in one of these lovely pieces.

Stockroom: The physical store for The Stockroom is located right down Sunset Blvd from me, so I've been there a number of times. I have never purchased anything aside from clothing and my toy bag from them myself, but they sell an item almost the same as my nylon cane (aka the bane of my existence) and I've experimented with several of Maddycake and Sir Siq's toys from there as a top. The Stockroom is clearly not a place designed for spankos, but they have some interesting canes that I'd recommend checking out. Bottoms, if you have a sense of self preservation, pass on the nylon. I wouldn't recommend their wooden paddles, as they aren't that special for the price, but their other equipment is quite lovely.

These are all the places that I've played with toys from, that I'm aware of. I'm very open to recommendations for other places to obtain implements! :D

Weekend Wrap-up

On Saturday, I went shopping with my Bee Eff Eff, Maddycake. I went to a bikini-bar with some friends on Friday night, so I had some leftover singles in my wallet because I was not particularly zealous with the tipping. I've been budgeting pretty carefully with the move coming up, but it was essentially leftover morale money, so, when we saw this at Sur La Table I had to get it:

I asked Maddycake what she thought this was supposed to be for and her response was "beating Alex." Clearly. I have to admit, now that I've gotten it home and messed around with it a bit, this thing kind of terrifies the hell out of me. I've had big spoons before, but they've always had a very large spanking surface. This one is much smaller, and therefore much more concentrated. Then there's the fact that the material kind of feels like Warren. -_-

At Sur La Table, they had a small Christmas tree full of kitchen related ornaments for the holidays, so I picked up the first decoration for Malignus and me as a family:

It's a tiny wooden spoon! It's so perfect for us. Its red handle echos that bitch, Jenny (Warren's little sister, who used to be the bane of my existence before Warren came around and was about 8 times worse.) Awwww.

Finally, I went into The Body Shop to get some Body Butter (for the purpose of lathering up my butt to prevent dry skin when I'm getting spanked a lot) and discovered that the entire store was buy two, get two free. So, when faced with two free items I didn't really need (because I did want to get two Body Butters to begin with. I use the Vitamin E one when I need to grow new skin and the Extra Dry Skin one otherwise) I got myself bath soap and...

See how unsure my face is? That is me being very fearful and not entirely positive what I got myself into. This is a mean thing, for sure. I also somehow managed to acquire seven new implements in the span of a couple of days, while only spending eight dollars on them. I need to stop having such good luck with this stuff. It's going to eventually lead to my untimely demise. I'm putting a ban on buying anything new at all before I leave, unless it's a packing supply or going to be consumed, since I have to store so much stuff to begin with. Today was the last shopping trip until I'm in LA as a visitor! :/

My Saturday finished up with a surprise visit from J. I'll hopefully get to see him one more time before I leave, but we treated today like it would be the last time, just in case. It was bittersweet. He gave me a nice, snuggly hand-spanking that left me feeling like I was glowing.

It was pretty faded by the time I stopped cuddling to take a photo. He didn't have long to stay today, so no baked goods. :(

Whew! That's a lot of stuff! Hope everyone else had a good weekend!

Presents/Prizes and Peach

The other day, I got something exciting in the mail: it was a package from my very good, online friend, bottomgrl. She had told me in advance that it was not a present, but a "prize" for being awesome. We're weird like that. :)

I opened it in the car on the way home from the Post Office and discovered that it contained two absolutely awesome pairs of Halloween panties. I had been whining about wanting Halloween panties earlier, and these ones are pretty perfect for my needs:

The photos aren't great, because I took them in Photobooth on my laptop when no one else was home, but these ones say "Whooooooooooo's Scared?" I intend to wear these when I'm feeling overly confident and slightly cheeky. What? Me? Afraid of a little spanking? Ha!

These ones say "Scaredy Cat" and they're for those moments when I start crying at just the sound of an implement moving through the air: sometimes, I'm just not brave. :P

I was totally overjoyed that she thought of me and presented me with this prize for my awesomeness.

Additionally, I recently got a package that I couldn't immediately figure out who it was from, but which turned out to be from my friends who shall be referred to as Peach and IG. I met Peach through vanilla channels: she's an absolute sweetie, and a total spanko, but she hasn't reached the point where she's comfortable participating in the community yet, even online. IG is her boyfriend and Dominant. He's a clever and slightly intimidating garden-variety sadist; that is to say, he's not a spanko. He's certainly fond of spanking Peach, but it holds no greater enjoyment for him than any other method of inflicting pain on her would. I find their relationship very interesting in that regard: part of me has always thought that in a perfect world, spankos would partner with spankos all the time. I've learned that a variety of people make it work, either with a different type of kinkster or with an open-minded vanilla partner. Peach and IG don't blog, but they are comfortable with me sharing some of their stories here every now and again, when I find them interesting or relevant. :)

Peach has had some very serious health problems for the past few months, and is currently unable to engage in any impact play (on her kink-friendly doctor's orders). I can't imagine how sad that would be: to be with your primary spanker and not be able to be spanked for MONTHS. I was unable to be spanked for a day and a half while visiting Malignus the last time because my skin got...a little messed up in places. I needed the time to heal. It drove me absolutely insane. I seriously cried when I asked to be spanked and he refused. It was one of those situations, though, where he thought of the long term and I was caught up in the moment. I appreciate being taken care of that way, even when it's sad, and I know that Peach does, too: it's just a hard time for her. IG has, in the meantime, found creative ways to be a jerkface to her without violating the terms set down by the doctor (some of which are so awful that I wouldn't dare share them here or else they might get used against me), but it's obviously not the same.

Despite the fact that she's not doing particularly well, Peach has been an extremely supportive friend for me recently, and she's been sharing in my joy and excitement about my upcoming move to be with Malignus, which I really appreciate. I really like having friends who can be glad for me even when they are sad for themselves. Probably a combination of Peach's happiness and IG's leftover sadism lead them to send me a gift from cane-iac:

IG is fond of giving me slightly strange new things to experiment with: he's the one who was responsible for that blue, rubber paddle that kind of looks like it was made out of a running track, among other horrible things.

This package included (from left to right) a green acrylic paddle, a black polypropylene paddle, a polyethylene "Smack" stick, a two strand mini-acrylic cane and an 18 inch rattan cane. I'm not entirely sure what the difference is between the three kinds of plastic: as far as I can tell, they are all just "not as mean as lexan."

I'm excited to try them out, even if they are, as always, a bit scary. There's something very enjoyable about getting beaten with something purchased or made for you by a friend, though. It's as if their energy gets involved in the spanking somehow, because of the association.

Has anyone else ever gotten or given implements as gifts? Do you like the practice, or does it just seem like a physical way of throwing your friends under the bus?

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Curious About . . .

The other day, I was looking through my list of fetishes on fetlife. I enjoy the fetish list: I try not to abuse it too much, but I’m fond of creating or adding fetishes that are witty, funny or poignant. Really, the whole thing is kind of unnecessary: my fetish list can be condensed into “spanking.” Everything else serves to flesh out what kind of spanking scenes I’m into: the severity, frequency and style of spanking that I enjoy is highlighted. I took a look at my “Curious about” list, though, and discovered that it was 99%* inside jokes. In fact, only five items are real things that I’m interested in trying. This got me thinking: have I done it all? Aren’t there things I still desire to experience for the first time in Spankingland?

I have a very specific kink. I like to be spanked. I like to be spanked with various things, and I’d like to expand my collection, but there are only a couple of implement categories that I haven’t explored at all yet. As far as positioning goes, I really don’t like to have too much variety: if it was practical (and up to me) I’d be spanked over a lap a hundred percent of the time. I’m not into unusual positions or restraints or bondage furniture. 

I’ve learned that I am far more fond of spankings that seem real, and which fit seamlessly into my daily life than fantasy based spankings. Despite the amount of value that I placed on my early childhood fantasies, I’d rather enjoy the themes which were important in them during a spanking that just involves me being me and my top being himself than actually act them out. I’m pretty much only into roleplaying for the sake of doing videos or if it is really funny. J. and I have had some scenes that were downright ridiculous in that regard, and I kind of dig that. I don’t have any role-plays that I’m dying to play out to add to my “curious about” list.

There are plenty of locations to be spanked in, but honestly, I don’t really approve of spanking in public places, or areas where one could be caught. I don’t get a thrill out of the risk of exposure: I just get fear and anxiety, in a bad way. I’m unable to relax and enjoy what I’m doing. As a nude model, I’ve done a lot of outdoor or semipublic work in places where it is not entirely legal, and it terrifies me. Getting caught naked is scary. Getting caught being spanked is maybe the scariest thing ever**. Because of this, the locations where I legitimately would like to be spanked are fairly limited.

That's a public road behind me. I would not like to be spanked here.

The final thing that I can think of which varies between spankings is the atmosphere. This is probably the most significant of the possible variables: it’s the main thing that makes one spanking I receive different than another. That said, I’ve explored, at least a bit, all the major atmospheres which interest me. There isn’t any one type of spanking that I’ve never experienced which stands out to me as “I want that!” There are plenty of them that I want to delve deeper into, but you can only be curious about something until you’ve tried it once. :) 

There’s a sort of meme in the spanking community of having a Spanking Bucket List, an idea popularized by a thread on fetlife which was particularly full of win. When I made my post to it some five months ago, my list was very general. From my exploration of this topic, I’ve created an updated one.

Getting spanked with a bath brush

Bath brushes are scary. I always understood in theory that they were scary: they’re basically a hairbrush on a stick, and the “on a stick” part allows the spanker to get more leverage. Plus, Janey really likes them, and anything that she likes makes me terribly afraid. When I was shooting with Lily Starr, she gave me a few test swats with the bath brush and I was surprised by just how much it hurt. Sure, we’d just done three scenes, so I was sore, but the three not particularly hard spanks that she gave me had me yelling about how unacceptable it was. 

I like scary things. I get a huge thrill from working myself up over how bad something is going to be. It’s often even worse than I psyched myself up for, too, because usually these new experiences come from a particular individual who spanks me with 0% mercy. I also have a questionable sense of self-preservation. These things combined make me want to be spanked with a bath brush.

Being co-topped

I love the energy between the person spanking me and myself during a scene. The idea of having a third party involved to add to that dynamic seems awesome to me. I’ve co-bottomed before, and that was a lot of fun, so I want to try it this way, too! I’d especially like to be co-topped by two people that particularly enjoy each other or engage well together: I think the banter would be awesome.

Getting spanked on a wet bottom

People talk about this all the time: it supposedly hurts more. I’m slightly skeptical of this, which is probably kind of silly. Whenever I’ve been skeptical of how much something hurts, it’s always really horrible. At one point, I didn’t think wooden spoons could hurt. At another, I didn’t think that the lag between a cane stroke and the full effect was “real” (before I had been caned). I even doubted the medical accuracy of the idea of a “weak spot” after skin broke during a spanking until I had to deal with one for a while. You’d think I’d eventually learn that if everyone talks about something, it’s probably accurate. Still, there’s nothing wrong with learning things the painful way, right?

Attending spanking parties

This is a big one! I’ve never even been to a tiny party. I want to go! I want to be surrounded by people who share my kink. I want to meet awesome people I’ve interacted with online. I want to get implements from a vendor fair. I want to be spanked by Tops I’ve spanking-crushed on over the internet but never had a chance to meet.

Sitting down in the snow after a hard spanking

I’ve seen photos of people doing this, and I think it’s adorable. Because I’ve been living in Southern California for the past two years and haven’t had to deal with any of the bullshit side of winter, I associate snow with coziness. Plus, if ice on a sore bottom feels good, snow would have to, right? I’ve never been spanked in a place where I could then go outside and have my bottom exposed, though, so the closest I’ve come to this is falling on my sore and swollen butt while ice skating, which, I can tell you, is not as fun as it looks and it does not look particularly fun.

Getting spanked on the beach

On the opposite end of the spectrum, if it were sufficiently private, I’d like to be spanked on the beach. When spankings are slow and rhythmic, I associate the feeling with the waves hitting me when I’m swimming in the ocean. It would be lovely to have a spanking follow that actual rhythm. I spent nearly all my life living in a costal area, too, so I have a lot of strong, positive memories associated with the shore. Plus, I bet that getting wet in the salt water afterwards would be ridiculously stingy! 

Getting spanked in my car

This is a pretty lame thing to have on my bucket list, because I think that the main reason why people get spanked in cars is because they don’t have anywhere else to go do it. Still, I’ve just recently obtained my first personal car, and nothing would make it more “mine” than being spanked in the backseat. I mark my territory with my tears.

Getting an extremely long spanking

Sometimes, during a pleasant spanking, I get the feeling that I never want it to end, and I feel the same sense of disappointment that one gets when a particularly fun ride at the fair starts to come to a halt when I feel the pace slowing down for the inevitable end. I’d love to have a spanking that just kept going. Here’s my pitch for a spanking video: a feature length film that’s just me getting one long, peaceful, OTK, hand-spanking. What? That would get boring to watch? Harumph!

Purchasing leather implements

As you may have seen in my recent post about my implement collection, I don’t own anything leather. I used to have hang ups about the material from earlier, non consensual experiences. Recently, I started playing with it and I discovered that not only do I no longer find emotional discomfort from the use of leather implements, but I am actively fond of the physical sensation. I’d like to eventually obtain some leather implements of my own.

Cutting a switch.

Originally, I didn’t think that switches were scary. I thought they were kind of like less terrifying canes or something. Then a few of my friends started comparing them to razor wire and saying that they’re the all-time worst implement they’ve ever been spanked with and I chickened out. Maybe it’s because no one has reminded me of how terrible they are in a while, maybe it’s because I’m not currently sitting on a collection of welts and bruises, maybe it’s because there isn’t anyone around to thrash me at the moment, but I’ve regained enough confidence to feel, once again, curious about getting spanked with a switch. Like I said before, I like having things hyped up and scary once in a while. This is certainly one of those things.

*Approximate figure. I did not do the math.

**I know, I use this term a lot. Someday, I’ll collate all the data and come up with the True Scariest Thing Ever (TSTE). 

Implement Impulses

I have a very high spanking need. I got a hard spanking last Saturday (which made me sob and left me sore for a few days) and by Thursday, I was already getting antsy. I headed down to Chinatown to pick up some cardboard boxes for my packing and I quickly discovered that I was jones-ing harder than I thought: I saw implements everywhere I looked.

I suppose that’s not all that unusual: what kind of spanko can look at a wooden spoon and think: “Oh, that’s for cooking”? The difference is that when I’m not getting spanked often enough, I abandon all sense of self preservation. What I would normally look at and say: “Unacceptable!” becomes intriguing. I find myself on sites like cane-iac, wondering if maybe I need an acrylic paddle or a multi-strand cane. I start seeking out pervertables to add to my amazon wishlist. I keep nagging all my friends to go with me to The Stockroom Store in Silverlake to oogle the canes and straps there. 

When I’ve been spanked recently enough, I look at my collection of implements and think: “I have way more stuff than I even need.” I’ve got scary, awful stuff and I have things that can be used nicely. I have hairbrushes, paddles, canes and spoons. I have stuff made of wood, plastic and rubber. The only thing that I could argue to myself is the fact that I need leather implements, since I’ve recently decided that I’m fond of and comfortable with them, but those tend to be expensive, and I can’t justify spending too much money when I’m saving up to move. 

Not a bad collection, considering a year ago the only implement I had to my name was a single hairbrush!

There are some people who fetishize their toys, and almost get more from purchasing implements than using them. These players seem to prefer to switch implements frequently during scenes and are more likely to use heavier implements in a lighter style simply for the enjoyment of using something scary. Honestly, at the end of the day, I prefer hand-spanking over anything else (in the entire world!) but I do enjoy collecting implements. I find picking out and purchasing, out of my own free will, something that will hurt a lot to be a great form of active submission. I think that’s why my desire to purchase implements peaks when it’s been a while between scenes: I want to participate in the crafting of my future agony. It’s a way to be actively involved now in something that will happen in the future. 

I also love pervertables. I love spoons and hairbrushes: as a child, I rubbed my hand over the smooth, spanking surface of them and daydreamed (I never had the courage to self-spank when I was a kid). My very first implement was a hairbrush, one which is still in use. Just like I loved seeing the word “spanking” in the dictionary as a girl, I take great joy in finding something spanking related in a seemingly innocent place. So on Thursday, in Chinatown, I couldn’t help myself. 

I ended up buying four things. First, I saw a selection of regular wooden spoons. I found one that was lightweight but long handled: it just seemed like it would be wickedly stingy. Then, after shopping around a bit, I came across a giant pair of chopsticks, to be used for cooking. They looked just like a pair of little canes. On another aisle, I discovered a textured spoon for serving rice. I’ve long been interested in obtaining one of these: I think that the spanking surface of it will be interesting, to say the least. It will certainly be different than anything else I already have. I was going to start haggling about the price when I noticed giant spoons. I have a thing for stupidly big spoons: the kind you couldn’t possibly use for anything else. The first one came from Little Tokyo and was named “FLUFFY!” by Malignus. This one looked like it might be slightly bigger than FLUFFY! and was, when picked up, certainly heavier. It’s made of slightly flexible plastic. It’s going to be awful. 

It's hard to see the texture on the smaller white spoon, but know that it is covered in small, raised bumps.

I got all four items for $7.50 when I finished haggling in my broken Mandarin. Once home, I tested them against my arm and discovered that they all hurt a ton. I got a chance to experiment with the textured spoon at Threshold on Saturday night (more about that later) and it was awesome. I'm excited to be spanked with the rest of them, and to experience the one I did play with in the hands of a more seasoned top. Buying them certainly gave me something more to daydream about in the meantime.