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This blog contains adult material, including depictions and descriptions of nudity, consensual BDSM play and sexuality.
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Friday, November 9, 2012

LOL 7: Reaching Out

Well, today is LOL Day. It's the 7th annual, and it's my second.


For those of you who don't know, LOL day is Love Our Lurkers day. It's a spanking bloggers' holiday focused around bloggers appreciating their readers and readers coming out of their shells and "de-lurking": going ahead and hitting the "comment" button and letting us know a little bit about yourselves, why you enjoy reading et cetera.

I want to take a quick moment of your time to talk about reaching out.
For the first five years that I was getting spanked, I didn't reach out to anyone besides my own, personal community. Having met SF and his wife in the vanilla world, and having one other vanilla friend come out to me as a spanko, I felt that I was "all set." I had a wonderful Top, a strong, female bottom as a role model and a peer with whom to commiserate. I knew that there were other people out there who were into spanking. I read a few blogs and looked at videos from time to time, so I knew I wasn't all alone in the world anymore. But the idea that these people could become a significant portion of my life never crossed my mind. I hid behind the computer screen, shy and afraid. When I first joined Fetlife, I would literally shake with nervousness every time that I posted to a group or commented on a photo. I worried that I would look stupid, or that my take on spanking was somehow wrong. I even tried to be bratty because that seemed to be the way that the girls online were connecting, even though that's really not me. (Sarcastic? Yes. Ridiculous? Absolutely. Bratty? Very rarely, and only when it's clever.)
Eventually, though, I found my niche. I gained confidence. I made friends. I began to explode out all over the internet, and then all over the real world. My life is now deeply intertwined with the spanking world, and I love it that way. I'm by no means suggesting that others get as involved as I did. That's not for everyone. But taking that first step and not being afraid to reach out can be a turning point.

I'm very thankful for the people who helped me to make the transition from a lurker to a member of our community. My friend Al, who suggested that I sign up for Fetlife and who took me to my first munch, PrincessToy who was my first peer in "the scene," the people on Fetlife who accepted me into their community, the first friend who encouraged me to reach out and build real relationships and, of course, Malignus, who, among countless other things, taught me how to safely navigate the scene, to make a place for myself there, and to fully accept and celebrate who and what I am.
So. Much. Love. ♥

It's your turn, now! Go ahead and comment! Make my day. :)

34 comments:

  1. Let me be the first to wish you a very happy LOL day!

    I miss you bunches and bunches.

    I look forward to more blogging, especially since YS is gonna be on your case.

    XOXO, Beth

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    Replies
    1. I miss you so much, too! You're the greatest. When am I going to see you again?!

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  2. Hey I love you!
    Love, the Sparkly Girl

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  3. Not a lurker, just an Alex lover! :-) So glad you came onto the scene; it's been a joy watching you bloom.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! Your friendship and support has always been very important to me. You're a wonderful person! <3

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  4. I'm not a lurker either, but am very glad you decided to come out and get to know us. I love you!

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    1. I love you, Lily! You were one of the first people who made me feel like part of the community, by the way. It was during the "Naughty Anna" scandal. You thought one of my jokes was funny. I was like OH MY GOD A FAMOUS SPANKING PERSON THINKS I'M FUNNY!
      Now you're one of my best friends. Yay! <3

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  5. I'm also a lurker... love the blog!

    xo,
    SC

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I appreciate the comment!

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  6. Hope you LOL Day is good for you.

    Prefectdt

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much. Right back at you!

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  7. Hi Alex,

    Happy LOL 7 Day! Thanks for coming to the party!

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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    Replies
    1. Hugs! It's been a while since I said hi to you. I hope you're well! <3

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  8. Here I am, formerly lurking, making my first comment!

    I know what you mean. One day, I just made up my mind that I was going to attend a spanking party. I thought it was just going to be once, just to try, just to satisfy that nagging curiosity of what it would be like. I never thought I'd see any of these people ever again. That's not what happened.

    I've made wonderful friends. I found people who "get" me. I entered a community. I found where I belong.

    Happy LOL to you, Alex. I appreciate your blog and your willingness to share your life.

    --Regan

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for commenting! I really appreciate it. I'm so glad that you've found the community, too. :)

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  9. I'm a LTL - Long Time Lurker. Thanks for publicizing LOL. Got me!

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  10. A belated Happy LOL Day! May many lurkers use this special occasion to raise their heads and say hi! :-)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the comment! Hope you have a great weekend. :D

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  11. We're not lurkers... have been fans of your blog since day 1. Happy LOL Day!

    :)
    ~Todd and Suzy

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    1. Thank you! And thank you for your dedicated readership. :)

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  12. Happy belated LOL Day and hope you're having a good weekend!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! I had a great weekend and I hope you did, too. :)

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  13. Lurking, but at least now you know I am here:)

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  14. Alex you have a nice spanky blog ,love and spanks,Timxx

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