THIS BLOG HAS MOVED

This blog has officially moved to it's new URL: www.alexinspankingland.com 

Please do not visit this blog looking for new posts: there shall not be anymore.

This is the final post here.

It's been real, blogger. You taught me how to be, well, a blogger. But now it's time for me to own my own website and live by my own rules. Mostly. When it comes to blogging, anyway.

Please head over to the new page instead of here.

Blog/Facebook Information

I just wanted to update everyone on the status of things!
This is the second to last post that I'll be making to Alex in Spankingland at this address, due to Blogger's new rules.

I'll be moving to the following address: http://www.alexinspankingland.com
Please move your links and bookmarks once I announce that the new blog has gone live, as I'm not quite there yet!

Right now, if you check it out, there really isn't anything there. I have a wonderful, cherished friend who is helping me with the transition from blogger, and she's just gotten Wordpress installed on my new site. We've run into a few kinks (heh heh) in the process of getting things transferred and getting everything set up, and we haven't been able to spend time fixing them since I've been in Las Vegas for the past five days, having an amazing time with lots of friends and getting tons of spankings. Now that I'm home, I'll be focusing on that again.

Additionally, I had started using kinky facebook, and had collected a couple thousand friends over there. Unfortunately, someone got angry because I wouldn't block someone he didn't like and reported my profile as being fake. The unfortunate part of that is, by the standards that facebook uses, my page WAS fake: Alex Reynolds is not my legal name. They offered me two possible ways to verify and unlock my account. The first was to identify my friends from a series of random pictures they were tagged in. This was made difficult since most of the ones that it showed me were memes and other photos where people had been tagged to get them to look at it, and others were people who I didn't really know by face. I failed that, and the only way to get them to unlock it was to send them two forms of photo ID with the name "Alex Reynolds" on it. I considered my options for over a month, but in the end, I made a new facebook profile.

Once I'd made it, I was immediately locked out of it. I thought that trying a different IP address might work, but it didn't. In the end, I was able to unlock that profile by linking it to a phone number that was not in use on facebook yet (privately, of course).

So, the official Alex Reynolds facebook page is located here. I don't know if there are fake ones or not, but this is the only real one, anyway!

I have so much to talk about since I've just had lots of adventures and done a ton of shoots, but I don't want to spend too much energy feeding this blog right before it moves. So, please stay tuned for the information about the new location!

Well, I guess this blog is moving...

I've literally just received the following message:

Dear Blogger User,

We're writing to tell you about an upcoming change to the Blogger Content  
Policy that may affect your account.

In the coming weeks, we'll no longer allow blogs that contain sexually  
explicit or graphic nude images or video. We'll still allow nudity  
presented in artistic, educational, documentary or scientific contexts, or  
where there are other substantial benefits to the public from not taking  
action on the content.

The new policy will take effect on 23 March 2015. After this policy comes  
into force, Google will restrict access to any blog identified as being in  
violation of our revised policy. No content will be deleted, but only blog  
authors and those with whom they have expressly shared the blog will be  
able to see the content that we've made private.

Our records indicate that your account may be affected by this policy  
change. Please refrain from creating new content that would violate this  
policy. We would also ask you to make any necessary changes to your  
existing blog to comply as soon as possible so that you won't experience  
any interruptions in service. You may also choose to create an archive of  
your content via Google Takeout  
(https://www.google.com/settings/takeout/custom/blogger).

For more information, please look here  
(https://support.google.com/blogger?p=policy_update).

Yours sincerely,
The Blogger Team

In order to prevent losing my blog and all the work that I've put into it, I'll be migrating myself over to a new site before March 23rd, at which point I'll be leaving this blog in place to direct people over to the new address. I'll have to go through and remove all the photos involving nudity, though, to avoid it getting marked as private. I don't yet know what the new address will be, and I do intend to do a couple more posts here before I migrate (a process which will preserve all the original content, so have no fear in that department) so please continue to check out this page for updates.

I'll update you all when I have a new URL so you can change your bookmarks/links to me. 

I hope that this annoying censorship doesn't cause anyone to shut their doors permanently. If you're a blogger who has been using blogger and you don't know how to move your blog, feel free to contact me and we'll see what we can figure out together. 

Well, that's annoying. 

Happy February!

I hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day, and the week that followed it!

My holiday was relaxed, but lovely. For me, the bigger event happened the day before: it was the day that Paul came back from England. I had been counting down the days until this happened for ages. 

Three months is a very long time to be apart from the person you love. Fortunately, the miracle of technology allowed us to talk over skype and to text at least a little bit every day, and we used an App called Wunderlist to allow him to see which of my chores and work I was getting done every day and what I needed to focus on. 

I also focused on having fun and keeping myself from getting too sad. I spent lots of time with wonderful friends in Los Angeles, spent Thanksgiving with Christy Cutie and her family of origin, visited my friend James and Korey in Dallas for a week, spent three weeks in New York/New Jersey with family over the holidays and was visited here by Jon83, Thursday Night and Michael Valentine.  Lily Starr, Robert Wolf, Tattoo Fairy and I went to Disneyland together for two days. I spent another day there with my friend Dot. All of this helped to keep me both busy and distracted, and I remained pretty happy and in high spirits, although there are always going to be times where I struggle. 

During the time that Paul was away, the new ATVOD law came into effect, making the production of spanking videos in the UK illegal. I became the owner of Northern Spanking. My first spanking romance novel was published and was listed in the top 5 BDSM Romance books on Amazon shortly after it was released. I was voted Spankee of the Year for 2014. 

In other words, a lot of time had passed since November, and I'd spent countless hours dreaming of the moment that I would first see Paul again. I could hardly sleep on the night before he arrived, since I knew he was already on the plane flying to meet me. In the morning, I had some chores left to do, since I always aspire to make the house as close to perfect as I can when Paul is getting home. I want it to be nice for him, and the house needs to be deep cleaned every once in a while, anyway. Once everything was done, I took a long bath, complete with a rose petal bath bomb. I put a treatment in my hair and a mask on my face and tried to relax a little, although my heart was beating a mile a minute.

I felt cute!

Around six, I hopped into my car and headed for LAX. It usually takes me about an hour to get to the airport, and Paul was landing around 7:00, so I figured I would have time to find out exactly where he was going to come out of immigration. Unfortunately, I sat in traffic for two hours, and arrived around the time he was coming out of immigration. I met up with him a moment later than I would have wanted to, and after a lot of rushing, but it was alright. Everything was alright. The night was warm and I stood on my tiptoes as we kissed for a long while, troubles and cares literally melting away. I snuggled up to his chest and refused to let go. Finally, we carried his luggage back to my car as I chatted spastically. We drove to a diner for dinner before heading home. Paul was exhausted from the trip, so we snuggled up in bed pretty shortly after getting in.

The next morning was time for spanking, of course:

Just a little bit!

I recently became obsessed with my local Korean Spa. My girlfriend and one of our friends and I go once a week to soak in the big tubs, sit in the saunas, eat delicious Korean food and sometimes get rather violently massaged. One day I decided to get a full body scrub in order to make sure that I was truly soft and silky to the touch. The woman giving me the scrub commented that I had an awful lot of dead skin on my bottom, and she scrubbed it particularly vigorously. This was the strongest form of exfoliation I've ever experienced, and when she finished, it felt like my body had never been touched before. I quickly discovered that this also meant that my bottom was incredibly sensitive, and that every single smack stung with a strength and clarity that I hadn't felt in years. I can't decide if I recommend doing this or not: on the one hand, my butt feels wonderful to touch, but on the other, my tolerance was scrubbed off and washed down the drain along with my dead skin, it seems!

We spent most of Valentine's Day cuddling and Paul caught up on rest for a while. Then I got dressed up (and forgot to take a photo, fail!) and we went downtown for dinner, which was most excellent. When we finished eating, it was time to go home for more cuddling and eventually sleep. I can't really describe what the day was like. It was more of a long series of moments that we spent together, where every tiny thing was significant to me. Interlacing our fingers to hold hands. The sound of him singing quietly along to a song we both like in the car. Slipping into his jacket to cuddle against his chest. Being alone in my room but hearing the sound of him in the office and feeling my heart flutter with excitement at the fact that he was here. These little moments, loving the details of a person, are what romance is all about for me.

The next day I had sessions, but before that we snuck off for brunch with Spankcake at a diner that promised the world's greatest pancakes. They were certainly good: fluffy and delicious! As is usual when I'm with Spankcake and/or Erica, we stayed until the last possible moment. Sometimes this is when the restaurant closes, but this time it was when I had to go home to get ready for work. The next day was President's Day, though, and Spankcake had the day off so between bites of pancakes, we launched a plan for an adventure: we decided to go to Dave and Buster's.

I only discovered Dave and Buster's when James and Korey Johnson took me there when I was visiting them in Dallas in December but I fell in love with it instantly. An arcade which serves alcohol and snacks and has lots of fun games that "grown ups" like me can play? I was hooked. Korey and I had spent ages playing games last time, and had traded in our tickets for some candy. So, I was glad to find out that there was one close to me, at Hollywood and Highland.

The three of us carpooled in Spankcake's car, which was a good thing, because I had recently discovered that they served alcoholic snowcones there and I intended to indulge myself in this department. We had a quick lunch and I had a delicious drink, and then it was time to go play games (while Paul went to go check out the set up they were doing for the Oscars).

Spankcake is not actually a bunny. 

We started off doing pretty well, and playing a few different games. We were hoping to get enough tickets so that we could each get a small stuffed Hello Kitty, so we needed about a thousand total. We were making good progress when we discovered there was a Candy Crush machine. This is a game every single person who has a cell phone or facebook knows how to play! Spankcake and I were doing well and collecting lots of tickets, especially when we would complete a level and get to spin the bonus wheel. We were so excited about this that we were jumping up and down. We discovered that we were only a few levels away from winning the big bonus, though, and through dedicated effort and team work we were able to accomplish that goal: an addition 1000 tickets.

It took so long to give us all out tickets that we had to sit down on the floor while we waited

Then we went to show Paul, who had returned and was sitting in the bar, just how great we were at games. He was impressed! When we cashed in the tickets we found out that we had enough to each get a pretty big stuffed animal, bigger than we expected by far!

I let Spankcake get the bigger one because I wanted Pikachu, of course, and because I'm a nice friend! 

Then it was happy hour, and time for more mixtures of alcohol and pure sugar!

After that, we ended up exploring the mall and I bought a bunch more panties, because that's obviously the thing I need the most in my life!

I realize that this post doesn't have that much spanking in it. It's more "Alex in Happy Little Girl Land" but I'm okay with that. More spankings coming soon, trust me. ❤︎

On Being Spanked to Tears, Again

I haven't done a Kink of the Week topic in a while. I looked at the list, and discovered that I've missed two full two week cycles, but that Jade left them open (possibly by accident, but I'm willing to take advantage of that). Both the topics that I missed are ones that I have a lot to say about. So, like the horribly naughty girl I am, I'm just going to slide this homework into the bottom of the pile and hope that my teacher believes it was there the entire time.

The kink of the week topic (from a while ago) was Dacryphilia, or the fetish surrounding crying. Without further ado, I shall now address this!

My most read post on this blog is one from 2012 entitled "On Being Spanked to Tears." In it, I outlined the different ways in which a spanking could lead me to cry. Three years later, I've grown and learned and experienced many more things, and I'd like to add some new thoughts on the topic.

Why crying?

Crying is something which carries a great deal of importance for many spankos. I get the impression that spanking is one of the fetishes which most embraces, or even focuses on, dacryphilia. When I started crying on one of my first spanking video shoots, I felt almost embarrassed by it, but the producer called my tears "liquid gold" and told me that a tear covered face was "the moneyshot" of spanking videos. So what is it about crying that is so central to a large number of people's spanking kinks?

The first is the idea that tears are tied into the "realness" of a spanking. I hear this often in comments various places where I post spanking photos on the internet: "It's not a real spanking unless you make her cry." I haven't spent enough time immersed in other kink communities to know whether or not they have a similar obsession with verisimilitude as the spanking community presents, but I know that for spankos, we talk about what makes a spanking real all the time. Tears are very tied into this.

Part of this obsession with making spankings real comes from the fact that a lot of our fantasies are based on things that actually happened in the past. I don't knock this at all, and totally embrace that many of my core fantasies are based around the recreation of school, institutional or domestic punishments that used to actually take place. So, sometimes the word "real" is meant to mean "similar to a historic/real life spanking situation." And in our conceptions of those scenes, tears are a key part. The first hand accounts of these punishments that we read or hear almost always end with the spankee bawling, sobbing and crying uncontrollably. Of course they would: these punishments were painful, embarrassing and, whether we want to focus on this or not, non consensual.

Before I was ever spanked, I read as much writing about spanking as I could, and I remember being deeply engulfed in the fantasy of being helpless, overpowered, intimidated by authority, stripped, held down and thoroughly chastised. These fantasies always ended with me in tears. Now that I spend my life actually enjoying spanking play, I like to recreate these fantasies. I like to make them as realistic to what I imagined as possible. I buy uniforms from school uniform suppliers, or even better, find vintage ones that were being worn at a time when corporal punishment was actually practiced. I get implements that are also vintage, and which were actually used in the original situations. When I can, I like to dress up the setting, finding places to play that look like I've stepped into my fantasy world. And I like to be spanked hard and, if it's possible, pushed to cry. My tears are part of what makes it feel like I've truly created the scene from my fantasy. In this situation, "realness" can be better defined as "authenticity" and tears add to that. [Author's note: I do not actually support non consensual corporal punishment of any kind, and fantasizing about recreating something in a way which is positive and consensual is not the same as supporting the original institution from which my fantasies stem.]

Another thing which I believe has influenced the spanking community's interest in tears is the way which spanking pornography evolved. In the pre-internet days, before the first spanking videos were even available, spanking porn was delivered via magazine. It was much harder to find a like minded partner at this time, so spanking porn carried even more importance: for many people with spanking fetishes, those magazines would be the only way they'd ever get to interact with their kink. When you look at spanking in still photographs, it is very hard to tell whether someone is actually being spanked or if it's just a picture. It's even harder to tell if the spanking has been severe or "transient and trifling." One can easily use acting to make a facial expression that depicts being in pain. There are only two things that can make a still image show that a hard spanking is actually taking place: the presence of marks and the presence of tears. Admittedly, neither of these things is actually a good litmus test for the severity of a scene, since some people simply never cry, others can cry from a light hand spanking, some people will be bruised purple by the same hand spanking but others can take a good, hard caning and have only a pink bottom to show for it after. But these visual queues at least suggest to us that a spanking is actually happening and that it actually hurts. Even now that our spanking pornography is primarily videographic, we often continue to identify the severity of a scene based on these two visual queues, hence the fact that my tears were liquid gold to the producer in my earlier story. Both tears and marks send us a strong visual message: that a spanking is happening here and it's real: here, realness can be defined as a spanking carrying any level of severity.

Leaving aside realness, there's another thing that makes tears very appealing to many spankos: vulnerability. No matter who a person is, they're vulnerable when they cry. They've let their guard down and they're showing you their inner emotion. They aren't fighting against you or resisting you as you spank them. They are, in a way, letting you in. This is the draw of tears for many spankos. Tears are a sign of intimacy. Tears are a sign that your feelings are genuine. Tears are a sign that lessons are being taken to heart. Of course, a person can be vulnerable without crying, but tears give you a tangible sign of this vulnerability. For the person crying, tears can be refreshing. They can give an emotional release. They can get something out that words can't articulate. Communicating this way can be very emotionally intimate and draw people together.

Of course, no matter the reason, not everyone likes tears. For some, the presence of tears makes them worry that they've really upset or truly hurt their partner. Others find tears or being made to cry triggering, as a reminder of a time when something non consensual brought about that sort of emotional state. Others don't like to be that vulnerable, and that's entirely okay, too. Despite all the reasons why tears may make something feel more authentic or more real, a scene can be perfectly wonderful and very real without them,

What makes a spanko cry? 

Personally, I cry all the time. Outside of the spanking world, I cry when I'm sad, lonely, scared, hurt, even angry. I've always cried a lot. I was made fun of for it throughout most of my life, often being called a crybaby or other similar taunts. As an adult, I was made to feel that crying was something I should find embarrassing, that it was a mark of lack of self control or that I wasn't a "real adult" (another concept that has caused me a lot of struggle).

The first time I was ever spanked, I didn't just cry, I sobbed. I cried until I shook, in a way which was extremely disproportionate to the severity of the spanking I was receiving. It took me a long time to unwind the tight ball of emotions that I felt there, but the primary one was relief. I was relieved that after eighteen long years of carrying around this seemingly dark secret, my most precious fantasy was coming to life. And, once I started crying, I was relieved to discover that it was perfectly acceptable in this situation to cry when I felt the impulse to.

Crying from a spanking isn't something rare for me. I'd say that it happens about 40% of the time that I have a serious scene. It's not uncommon for someone to specifically ask to make me cry, either in my personal play or during a video or session. Other people have asked me to make them cry when I was Topping them, or to teach them how to make someone cry. It isn't this simple. Everyone is different and every spanking presents a different set of emotional and physical stimuli. Like during that first spanking I received, the cause of what brings one to tears can be hard to unravel. It can be caused or hindered by a variety of things. Here are some of those that I've discovered.

Crying fueled by regret for bad behavior: 

This was one of the causes of crying which I identified in my post three years ago. This is one of the causes of tears that people most often think about when imagining a punishment spanking. You feel bad about what you did, so, aided by the scolding words and pain associated with your punishment, you cry. It's important to point out that just because someone isn't crying during a disciplinary spanking, that doesn't mean that they don't regret whatever they did to earn the punishment. Everyone expresses their emotions in a different way. This reason for crying is something which the Top can influence to a degree, especially with the words they choose when scolding, and by creating an environment in which the bottom feels safe to be vulnerable. For me, sternness, seriousness and calm are important in creating this sort of atmosphere.

One thing I noted in my original post which I highly agree with is that if someone is crying due to regret for bad behavior during a scene which isn't meant to be disciplinary, then something isn't right. Sometimes, the differences between funishment or play punishment and real discipline can get blurred, and it's important to make it clear to the person that you're playing with what kind of spanking you're really giving them.

Crying fueled by letting someone down

I realized recently that, to me, there's a difference between the feeling of regretting having misbehaved and feeling bad that I've disappointed someone that I respect. In detangling the feelings that I have when I get a real punishment spanking, I've realized that a large part of what makes it emotional for me isn't just the fact that what I did was wrong and needs to be corrected, it's also the fact that I've let down a person who I love and respect. This is part of the reason that I only have an interest in doing these kinds of scenes with someone who I know well and feel these feelings towards. Because, really, we all know which stings more: a hairbrush or the words "I'm disappointed in you." Just knowing that I've let my partner down will almost always bring tears to my eyes, without even the need for anything else.

Crying fueled by stress relief or emotional release

Sometimes, a person who gets spanked just needs to be spanked. They have too much bottled up emotionally. They are having trouble focusing because their mind is full of distractions and they need something to center them. Life is just wearing them down, and they need to not have the responsibility of being in control all the time. This kind of crying can come from any kind of spanking, and I think that's it's actually fairly common, although you can intentionally try to create this atmosphere for a person who needs it by providing a safe and secure emotional environment surrounding the scene. For me, this works best when it's a mixture of caring and sternness, and when the spanking slowly builds up to a place where I can't resist it anymore and I *have* to let my vulnerability physically manifest.

Photo by Assume the Position Studios, still the most cry-face photo of me I have!

Crying fueled by submission or surrender

This is another one of the types of crying that I identified in my much earlier post. I wrote that post when I was a fairly new submissive, and when subspace was something which remained very alien to me. Here's what I had to say:

Some bottoms talk about subspace- going off into some floaty, magical, trance-like, trippy state from getting a very hard beating which pushes them towards submission. They sink into the bed, they stop feeling pain, they float on endorphins, they get high, they can't talk properly...
This doesn't happen for me (although it did once). I'm a very cerebral person, and I'm uncomfortable letting go of my awareness. Instead, when I've been pushed to a place where I cease my fighting, I get to a point of submissive crying. It's a calm sort of sobbing where there's no urgency in the sound. I've given myself over to the spanking that I'm receiving and I have no will regarding when it will end. It's certainly not as exciting to talk about, or as filled with mystery and intrigue as traditionally described subspace is, but the land of my submission is just a place where I lie still and take a lot of hurt and cry about it. It probably sounds pretty pathetic to a listener, and it doesn't feel "good" in a traditional sense, but it's a very peaceful place where I feel incredibly safe and loved.

Nowadays, the more traditional subspace is no longer illusive to me the way it used to be, but I still find myself getting into this kind of "submissive cry space" (that's a technical term :P) on a pretty regular basis. "Traditional" subspace doesn't actually feel so submissive to me: it feels passive, and I identify those two things as being related but different. When I'm in a deep subspace, I don't really feel things the same way. I've let myself be taken to a place where spankings don't actually really hurt. When I'm in this space, I still feel everything, but I've given up my resistance to those feelings and I'm willing to let them happen. This is a place that one should only go to with someone they truly trust, since it basically means that you're just going to let someone do whatever they want to you and not resist, but it can be a very beautiful thing in the right situation.

Crying fueled by physical pain
When I wrote my original post, I said that I felt like it was taboo to admit that I sometimes cry because spankings hurt that much. I don't know if I think that anymore. I think that's dangerous for a Top to believe that crying is the *only* sign of physical pain, or that by increasing the amount of pain that you're causing someone you can *make* them cry, but I do think that it's very common for people to simply cry because something hurts. I have to feel safe in order to do this, and I have to feel some sort of connection to the Top that I'm playing with, but this is honestly a very common reason for me to start crying. This hurts: that's what this is all about. And sometimes, this hurts enough to make me cry. Nothing more complicated than that. That's okay. There doesn't have to be some grand and difficult to explain background behind everything. Sometimes, it's just that someone is hitting you with a piece of wood and that hurts enough to make you cry.

Bad tears
The spanking community puts so many positive associations on crying that it can sometimes be easy to forget that crying isn't always a good thing. For some people, crying is a sign that they are upset and that the scene needs to stop. If someone starts crying in a way that you don't expect from them, or from a scene that wasn't meant to be that intense, it's a good idea to check in. Sometimes, when a person starts crying, it's because the spanking isn't fun anymore. The scene isn't working for them. But if they're already in an emotional place where they feel particularly passive, it can be hard to use their safeword. While it might break up the scene in a way that isn't ideal to check in with your partner, it's better to be safe than sorry in this case.

Other times, a person cries during a scene because, to put it in the vernacular, the Top is being a dick. Using people's fears, playing to their insecurities, saying insulting or hurtful things and other forms of emotional sadism certainly get inside someone's head and make them cry, but it isn't creating the kind of safe vulnerability that I talked about before: it's just being abusive. The bottom is crying because they're hurt in a bad way. It's entirely possible to do consensual emotional sadism/masochism scenes: there are people who are into that. But this is something that has to be very explicitly negotiated before playing. Additionally, it's important that if you are going to play this way, that the people who are around you (if you're playing in a public space) know what you're about to do and that what you're doing is consensual: probably not the best scene for a suite party.

So, bottoms, do you cry when you get spanked? Tops, do you like it when the person you are playing with cries from a spanking? Do tears carry a certain emotional weight to you? What do they bring to the spanking? Let me know in the comments section!

[Final author's note: I used the term "we" a lot in this post. I do not mean to speak for everyone in the spanking community: this is just shorter to say than "many people in the spanking community." I hope this was not offensive to anyone.]

For those of you who don't know, Kink of the Week is a biweekly prompt which opens up a conversation between bloggers across the kink and sex writing spectrum, each focusing on how they feel about a particular kinky topic. Check it out here:
 
❤︎

Contribute to a Caning!

In December, a law came into effect in the UK which made the production of spanking videos, along with a variety of other kinds of porn, illegal. There was a lot of public outcry at the time, and spankos from all over the world offered their emotional support to the UK based producers. People signed petitions. People went to protests.

Then, eventually, things slowed down and, as a community, we generally stopped talking about this. That's what happens with all political issues: very rarely do we stop actively talking about them because something gets fixed. We stop talking about them because we've run out of momentum, or things to say, or ideas of how to get things fixed. Continuing to talk about it, then, makes us feel hopeless. A much worse a reason why we stop talking about things is because we get used to them. We accept that this is simply the way things are. We stop thinking about it.

Unless, of course, you can't stop thinking about it because it directly affects you. For the average spanko, the law change made us angry or uncomfortable. But for UK based spanking and fetish producers, it changed everything. I don't know all the producers, and not all of them share what's going on in their lives online, but here's a recap of the information that I have right now (if you have more information than I do, please feel free to chime in in the comments section!):

• My partner, Paul Kennedy, who founded Northern Spanking, now legally doesn't own any of it: I do. All aspects of the business have been transferred to my name, and our servers have been moved to the US. Despite these changes, the site continues to operate as normal. I've been getting more involved in production over the past year or so, anyway, so that hasn't been a change. It's heart breaking to me that Paul can't own the site that he's been nurturing since I was just a high school girl, but I'm happy that our situation has created a safe and stable way to preserve the site and keep Paul from being at risk of going to jail. It has always been our intention for Paul to relocate to the US since we started dating, and doing that provides an extra level of security, since we don't know yet how far reaching the long arm of the law is on this issue. 
• John Osborne, who created Triple A Spanking and POV Spanking, has come up with a similar arrangement with his US based partner, Sarah Gregory. His sites are now owned and operated in the US.  John received an email from ATVOD warning him that his content is now against the law, but as far as I know, no action was taken due to the relocation of the site to the US. 
• Michael Stamp, who founded Bars and Stripes has stopped producing content and has sold his site. Bars and Stripes is now owned by the family of sites that does Spanked in Uniform and Real Life Spankings, which is based in Holland and therefore not subject to the ATVOD regulations. 
• Sarah Bright and Mr. Stern of Spanking Sarah, English Spankers and other similar sites announced on a blog that they intend to move themselves and their production company to Spain, relocating their entire family to avoid prosecution. 
• Hywel Philips of Restrained Elegance has his company based in the US, but is remaining in the UK and taking the side of resistance. 
• Pandora Blake, creator of Dreams of Spanking is keeping her site a UK based company and production studio, and Pandora is focusing on activism against the censorship, along with...
• Nimue Allen, owner of Nimue's World, who is also keeping her company and site in the UK and doing extremely important activist work. 

There are other producers in the UK, but I don't have any updates on how they're dealing with this issue. If you know any, please add them in the comment section!

Nimue and Pandora announced a little while ago that they're doing a fundraiser for Backlash UK, an organization that, among other things, provides legal aid for producers affected by the new ATVOD law. The fundraiser started off with a goal of 500 Pounds. For each ten pound donation, one of the two would receive one cane stroke, with a maximum of 50 strokes being received per girl. When the fundraising reached 1000 pounds, the maximum amount of strokes set to be received, Rosie Bottomley stepped up to take the next 50 strokes. When THAT goal was surpassed, Amelia Jane Rutherford agreed to take an additional 25 strokes. This goal has also been passed now. 

So who do the additional cane strokes fall to? Well, they fall to me, of course. 

I had the rare chance to have a skype chat with Pandora this afternoon. Because we're both always keeping busy (her especially!) and we're 8 hours of timezones apart, we almost never get a chance to make our schedules line up, so it was wonderful that we did. When we talked today, she told me everything that was going on with the fundraiser and explained that they had raised more funds than they had models to take the cane strokes, I was both overjoyed with their success and happy to help out. I'm an American, but this law has changed my life, too, and technically speaking, I'm a producer of a traditionally UK based site now. Besides, British spanking pornography means an awful lot to me. I was happy to put my butt on the line, quite literally!

So, everyone, click here to donate to Pandora's fundraiser! You can donate no matter where you are located in the world. Ten pounds is about fifteen US dollars, and each 15 dollar donation adds a cane stroke for me! The caning will be filmed after Paul returns to the US, and the video including Pandora, Nimue, Rosie, Amelia and I all getting caned (although not at the same time and place) will be made available to everyone for free! Really, who DOESN'T want to see me get fifty cane strokes for a good cause? That's an awful lot! So, please donate! 

When you think about it, your donation doesn't just ensure that I'll be getting an additional cane stroke: it helps to provide countless more cane strokes in the future by helping to make sure that British spanking pornography is able to continue on in the world. More writing on this topic coming tomorrow, but I was kind of wrestling with blogger for a couple of days, so I got behind on my posting and now that I'm participating in this fund raiser, I want to get the word out before it's too late! 

A History of Darkness

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Spankee of the Year, 2014!

This post has been delayed because of the insanity that life has been recently, but I'm finally finishing it! 

I went to bed the night before New Year's Eve feeling pretty down. I had no plans for the following evening except sitting at home on the couch with my family, when I would have much rather been having an exciting, partying adventure. I felt glum.

I woke up the next morning early afternoon and opened up my laptop. I knew that the results for Spankee of the Year were going to be announced that day, and I wasn't sure if they would be up yet or not, but I had been dedicating way more time and attention to this contest than was really necessary.

I discovered that they were, in fact, posted. John's blog is set up so you can't see the full post when you visit the homepage and have to click on the image to continue, which made the suspense of opening the page higher than it would have been. Honestly, I was expecting to not even place in the contest, and I was happy to be among only ten girls nominated. All of the girls who were in the running are absolutely gorgeous and talented performers. Some of them are my very good friends of mine. I had a faint "wouldn't it be awesome if I won?" thought process in the back of my head, but it seemed like a pipe dream to me.

When I clicked though to the page, I saw this:

I just kind of sat there with my mouth hanging open staring at it for a long time.

Despite not actually believing that I was likely to win, I really wanted to. I'll be perfectly honest-- I've always wanted to win this as long as I've been a spanking model. I feel a little bit silly about it, like caring this much about winning an award is somehow childish, but that's the truth. It's a dream come true for me, and I feel so much gratitude towards everyone who voted for me.

Continuing with my vulnerability for a moment, I find this award extremely validating because I've always worried that people don't actually like me as a model and are only putting up with me because I'm there. I know that there are always going to be some people who don't like me, but it makes me really happy to know that there are quite a lot of you who do. So thank you for liking me! You put a smile on my face!

I've been a spanking model for a little over three years now, having done my first shoot in September of 2011. I've done hundreds of videos, shot for 40 some spanking sites and clips stores, worked in three countries, lived out of suitcases for up to two months at a time, met almost almost all the people who I idolized in videos before my modeling days began, made great friends with many of them and, of course, fell in love. I've learned so much about myself, and I'm proud of the ways that I've grown throughout the process. It still sometimes feel surreal to me. I feel so fortunate to get to have all these experiences, and I can't wait to see what the coming years will bring me.

I love what I do so much, and I love connecting with the spanking community. Thank you all for making it possible for me to do this. I will do my best not to get too mushy, but I appreciate all the support that I've gotten over the past couple of years. Whether you left nice comments on my pictures and videos, bought my content, listened to me spazzing out when traveling was stressful, rubbed lotion into my butt after a tough shoot, calmed me down when I worried that I was the worst spanking model ever, gave me a place to crash when I was on the road, encouraged me to be myself, told me you were proud of me or any other amazing thing you did, I appreciate it so much.

As an interesting side note, I did a little bit of research as to who else has been Spankee of the Year and I discovered that it's actually a very small group that I've joined. Since 2007, there have only been five different models named Spankee of the Year: Samantha Woodley in 2007 and 2010, Amelia Jane Rutherford in 2008 and 2009, Ten Amorette in 2011, Sarah Gregory in 2012 and me! This makes me feel even more honored to have been selected.

At the end of the day, I know that this isn't a huge deal, and the world is no different than it was before I was given this award, but it still helps to cheer me out of most funks to think about it, and I still can't really believe that I won. I feel a little overwhelmed by all the things that have happened recently. My book has been well received, I won Best Creative Spanking Blog again and now this! I keep worrying that I've been asleep since December and this is all a dream!

I hope that 2015 is a great year full of lots of spankings! It's been off to a good start so far, having already shot for Good Spanking, and having four more shoots booked for the coming months already, so I have no plans to slow down.

Thank you again if you voted for me. As soon as I get a chance, I'll be making you guys a special thank you gift. ❤︎

Oh Right, Christmas Happened

Christmas was a thing, wasn't it?

I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas! I hope you were all warm and safe and happy, and surrounded by the people that you love.


Personally, I had a kind of quiet Christmas at my family's home.  I got a couple of really nice gifts, a couple of very strange gifts and my aunt entirely forgot me and gave everyone else really nice gifts while giving me nothing. My mother and I fought because I wanted to use seasoning in the food during Christmas dinner and she wanted to serve a lot of bland and boiled things and she ended up winning.

My grandmother, who is ninety three and not particularly well (and a large part of the reason that I'm here for such a long period of time) spent a lot of time introducing herself to me. She insisted that I'm not Alex and wouldn't believe anyone who tried to tell her otherwise. At one point, she told me that I must be the same age as her granddaughter, but that she doesn't come visit her much and she hasn't seen her in a long time. She did recognize me once, on Christmas morning, and that was a relieving feeling. It was shortly followed by her asking where basically every deceased member of our family was. We simply responding by telling her that they aren't here, but the the reminder that they aren't was bitter (especially G, of course).

I got to talk to Paul on Christmas Eve, which was the best part of the holiday for me. My mom is very invasive to my privacy, which is part of what makes being at home very hard for me, but I was able to steal away into the room where I'm staying to skype with him. It was similar to the way that I used to sneak off into my bedroom in our old house in order to watch spanking videos as a teen, except now this whole world isn't just a fantasy one for me: it's where I live. It reminded me of how hard it would be for my teenage self to believe just how awesome my life is these days, and how lucky I am to get to do something I love so with such wonderful people. Despite my great dislike of this situation, it was also strangely hot to whisper "Shhhh! My mom will hear you!" when Paul said inappropriate things to me.

In other spanking related news, and in what seems to by my family's time honored tradition, I received something that would make a very good implement. This time, nestled among a few bath products, I received this gem:

It's actually the only wooden hairbrush I've ever found to be good for hair! We'll see about the other use soon enough, I'm sure.

It's always awkward when you get a gift like that from a family member. I later opened it up to look at it and had to sort of clumsily run it through my hair like The Little Mermaid encountering a fork at dinner: I *think* this is what people use this for, right? I had to resist the urge to smack it against my hand, which is the only thing that felt natural to do with it! 

I got sick shortly after Christmas and haven't done too much, hence the fact that it took me five days to finish this post! I don't mean to make it sound like I don't care about my family or enjoy spending time with them: it's just challenging right now. I apologize for being so glum, but things will perk back up soon. I'm hopeful that I can steal away from my family to visit a few friends in the coming days. And soon I'll be back to Los Angeles, where I'm planning to see a bunch of my wonderful friends there right away. I'll be shooting with Chelsea Pfieffer for Good Spanking upon my return, too! I haven't shot for Good Spanking since my first month of spanking modeling so I'm really looking forward to doing that! 

I hate to be a bother, but if you haven't voted for me as Spankee of the Year yet, please consider doing so now! It would certainly cheer me up if I won! 

A much more spanking heavy post coming soon! ❤︎

Winning!

Hey everyone!
Thank you so much for voting for my blog for the "Best Creative Spanking Blog" Category in The Spanking Awards! They announced last night that I won! It's my second awards in a row winning (there weren't any awards given last year) and it makes me feel pretty darn special. Despite all my difficulties keeping this blog up in the past year, it's refreshing to hear that you guys still enjoy it!

I'm not the kind of person who has won many medals in my life, so this one really means a lot to me, even if it's just a graphic!

I found out about the fact that I had won when Erica tweeted at me: I was in the grocery store with my mom running around getting stuff for Christmas dinner at the last minute. It turns out that I took first, Pandora got second and Erica got third. Pandora and Erica are two of my all time favorite people, so I'm happy to share the rankings with them. I certainly don't think I'm a better blogger than either one, though, and I wouldn't even HAVE a blog if it wasn't for those two! They were two of my biggest influences in starting this little corner of the internet.

I want to extend my gratitude to everyone who reads my blog, whether you voted or not! I wouldn't have a blog if I didn't have people to read it. It means so much to me that you guys think what I have to say is worth your time!

I'd also like to thank Paul for helping me in my struggle to keep posting regularly, for giving me lots of sexy things to write about, and above all else, for being the most loving and encouraging partner I could ask for. I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have him.

On the same note, I'd like to thank Rafa and Z, my wonderful vanilla boyfriend and girlfriend. It means so much to me that two non-kinky people have so wholeheartedly embraced my lifestyle. They support me in everything that I do and never make me feel like my life is any weirder or than their own. I'm so lucky to have such an awesome trifecta of wonderful people supporting me, cheering me on in the good times and supporting me when things are harder.

I'd like to thank John over at Spanking Blogg for resurrecting the Spanking Awards this year! I know it's a lot of work to do, but it's very appreciated!

Finally, I'd like to thank my amazing assortment of friends, play partners and lovers for filling my life with happiness and adventures. This makes for a very contented Alex as well as a lot of great stuff to share with everyone here!

I hope to make 2015 another wonderful year of blogging, and to have lots of exciting spanking tales to share with all of you.
❤︎

(Don't forget that the Spankee of the Year voting is still going on!) 

Exciting Accomplishments!

Hey guys,
I'm in New Jersey right now, visiting my family of origin. Unlike last year's winter wonderland, things have just been cold and drizzly. Being here is a mix of being very relaxed and lazy and also being a bit stressed and sad. It's hard not to focus on the things that I've lost here, but when I enjoy the positive, I can have a good time. I've been having pretty much the worst possible sleep cycle ever since I've been here, though. My body just wants to be nocturnal, and I keep grumpily struggling against this. Since I'm home, I obviously don't have any exciting spanking stories to share with you, although I've certainly had it on my mind whenever I'm alone!

There have been a couple of things brightening my days, though. One of these is the fact that my book has been really well received so far. I'm so excited about this! The charts vary, but at one point, it was the second highest selling BDSM erotica book on Amazon, and it's been highly ranked in the Erotic Romance category, too. Plus, with only one book out, I've been close to the top fifty erotic authors list on Amazon. These numbers fluctuate, so if you go to look, it might not be the same, but it's been making me really excited to see. Not to mention the fact that I've only gotten five star reviews so far!

I'm really overjoyed that people are buying and reading my book, and it's been especially exciting to me to have my friends read it and enjoy it. If you haven't done so yet, I hope you will consider doing it! It's not expensive at all, and it's super hot, in my own personal opinion! I've had a lot of people asking me if it's going to be available as a paperback, and I think the answer is that it probably won't be. You don't need to own a kindle to download the book, though. You just need to download the free kindle software for your computer or phone. It's super easy, and you can immediately start enjoying my naughty novel! Click here to buy it for less than five dollars and to make me smile!

Another piece of big exciting news is the fact that I've been nominated for Spankee of the Year! When I first started doing videos, I kind of idly daydreamed about winning this award, and it's super exciting to have been nominated. It's a contest, so I would really appreciate anyone who is willing to go and vote for me!

The whole thing is made a little bit problematic by the fact that a lot of the other nominees are some of my best friends! It feels weird to be competing against people who I know and love. A lot of us have the same friends, and it puts them in an awkward situation of having to decide who to vote for. So, I'm not going to let myself get TOO competitive, although I must admit that winning would make me a happy girl indeed. I'm just pleased to have made it this far!

I guess a big part of the point of this post is that a lot of things that have been happening in my life these days are beyond my wildest dreams. I never thought I'd be able to "make it" as a spanking model, let alone be nominated for this prize! I doubted myself all the way through my writing process for The Doctor's Little Girl, worrying that no one would read it and that those that did wouldn't like it. So, I'm really pleased with myself, in a way that I don't feel guilty admitting. I've always struggled with self esteem issues, and both these things have been extremely validating.

I have been working on a couple of other posts, but the holidays make me way too distracted. I'll get there, I promise!

I started to write about some of the more dreary things that are going on in my family life and the sadnesses that Christmas time brings up for me, but I decided against it. I've got to keep myself positive. So, I'm going to try to get a little sleep and then when I get up I'm going to bake cookies and wrap presents: I'll force myself to get the rest of the way "into the spirit."

I hope you're all having a good holiday! ❤︎

My First Book: The Doctor's Little Girl

Over the past several months, I wrote my first book. It's spanking erotica, with a mix of romance, ageplay (DD/lg) and medical play themes. It's called "The Doctor's Little Girl" and it was released today by Stormy Night Publications. 

Writing my first spanking book was a serious undertaking. I'm fortunate that my experience in college taught me how to sit still and work on something for hours on end with my feet propped up and an ever growing pile of empty energy drinks and candy wrappers on the ground next to me. I did most of the writing before Paul left to go back to England, and I was lucky to have someone so supportive there "encouraging" me to keep going, to focus and not to get frustrated and give up on myself.

Although I  have a lot of writing experience, this was my first manuscript of any real length. It was definitely challenging. Mostly, I was daunted by the task. Throughout my whole life I'd imagined that I would write books, and I had talked about doing this one for a long time before I actually started. I'm so grateful for the support that my publishers, friends and scene-family gave to me throughout the writing process.

Check out the amazing cover that Korey Mae Johnson (co-owner of Stormy Night and a very good friend of mine) created for my book:

Here's the summary:

"After losing yet another job, twenty-year-old Molly Parker wonders whether failure and sadness are her lot in life. Her last hope lies in Dr. Andrew Harrington, the handsome physician who witnessed a courageous act of kindness on her part and then offered her a job. But Molly can’t help worrying that she’ll lose this job too, just like all the others… 
From the moment he set eyes on her, Andrew knew there was something special about Molly—special enough for him to bring her halfway across the country and give her a job at his practice and a room in his home—but it soon becomes clear that she will be a handful. When it seems that her poor attitude at work will leave him no choice but to fire her, he makes a bold decision and gives Molly exactly what she needs: a long, hard, bare-bottom spanking.  

Nobody has ever cared enough about Molly to correct her before, let alone take her in hand so completely, and soon enough she is cuddling in Andrew’s lap and calling him daddy. It will take more than one trip over Andrew’s knee to cure her bad habits, though, and discipline at a doctor’s office can leave a naughty little girl blushing bright red before her real punishment even begins. But can Andrew really give Molly what she has always longed for, or will he eventually give up on her like everyone else?  

Publisher’s Note: The Doctor’s Little Girl is an erotic romance novel that contains spankings, sexual scenes, age play, medical play, anal play, and more. If such material offends you, please don’t buy this book." 

Want a little more than that? Here's an excerpt from the book:

“Show me where you keep your pajamas,” he instructed.

Molly silently pointed to one of the drawers in the bureau near the window. Andrew got up and opened the drawer. Things were stuffed into it instead of being folded, but Andrew knew that now was not the right time to call her out on that. Instead he sifted through the drawer until he found a pair of cute, girlish pajamas: pink polka-dotted shorts with lace trim and a white tank top. He set them on the bed and gestured for Molly to stand up. She did what he wanted her to, and Andrew stood her in front of him, taking a moment to look at her. He looked at her big eyes and her delicate, innocent features, then let his gaze move down to her body. She was absolutely adorable. There was just no denying this. Slowly and calmly, he began to unbutton the buttons on her blouse.

“What are you doing?” she asked. She didn’t sound worried, but simply curious, maybe intrigued by the proceedings.

“I’m getting my little girl ready for bed,” he told her. He finished undoing her buttons and then pulled her blouse off her shoulders, sliding it off her arms and then setting it aside. It revealed an off-white bra. It was simple and unpadded, more for modesty than anything else. Her perky breasts held themselves up, capturing Andrew’s attention through the soft cotton fabric. He reached behind Molly’s back and, with a practiced maneuver, unhooked her bra with one hand. Molly began to blush furiously. It was adorable to watch the redness bloom on her face, originating around her cheeks and spreading across her nose and ears. He smiled boldly, and gently brushed the tip of her nose with one finger. 

He pulled the bra all the way off and set it with her shirt, then reached back and unzipped her skirt. The pencil skirts that Rebecca had picked out for Molly were professional, but because of the roundness of Molly’s backside, they clung to her, captivating Andrew’s eyes as she wandered around the office or house. Now that he had seen her bottom bare and red, the thought was never far from his mind. It took a little effort to wiggle the skirt over her butt, and Molly assisted him a little, swaying from side to side to encourage the fabric downwards. 

Soon, Molly was standing before him only in her panties. Andrew gently rubbed her back for a second, feeling her smooth, milky skin. He looked at her panties. They were pale purple with white polka dots, and Molly looked sweet and innocent wearing them, but it was time for them to come off. He pulled them down and she instinctively stepped out of them. Her coyness and obedience, combined with her lithe, nude form, made his cock grow hard. 

“Good girl,” he praised and Molly smiled slightly through her embarrassment. Andrew took a step back to enjoy the view, noticing that although it was warm in the room, Molly’s peachy nipples were rock hard. He was surprised to see that she didn’t try to cover herself with her hands. Instead, she kept them obediently at her sides, with only the flush on her face showing how much it embarrassed her to be stripped nude like this. “How does it feel to be naked in front of me?” Andrew asked. 

Molly bit her lip, as if she was thinking of the right answer. “Vulnerable,” she finally said. 

“Vulnerable,” Andrew repeated. “I like that answer. Are you embarrassed that I can see you?” he inquired. 

Molly nodded. 

“You’re mine to look at, little girl,” he told her. “I told you you were my little girl, and I meant it.” 

The book is chock full of the usual spankings that, if you read this blog, you'll come to expect from me. It also includes other fantasies of mine that I haven't always shared so openly, like some of the ageplay aspects and the medical play. While some parts of the book are inspired by my real life experiences, a lot of it comes from my imagination: specifically, from what my imagination comes up with when I have one hand down my pants.

I really, really hope that some of you guys will grab a copy. It's an e-book, so if you're confused by this feel free to let me know and I'll help you figure it out. It's also less than $5, so I personally think that's a great deal. If you're able to help me spread the word that I've written a book, I would also love that. The support you guys give me means so much to me.

By the way, you can now like me and my blog on Facebook if you are so incline. I'll be posting updates and other interesting stuff there.

❤︎ 

Awards and Unveiling a Secret Project

Hi guys!
I've just had way too much stuff going on recently, and I have about six blog posts in progress, but I wanted to take a second to point out a couple of things.

First of all, I want to remind you guys that the voting for the 2014 Spanking Awards has officially started. This year, the Awards are being hosted on Spanking Blogg instead of on the now pretty much defunct Spanking Spot.

This year, Alex in Spankingland was once again nominated for Creative Spanking Blog of the Year. During the last awards (in 2012, as no prizes were given in 2013) I was proud to have received this award.

I absolutely LOVE a lot of the other blogs who were nominated this time, though. Included among them is the blog that encouraged me to start blogging in the first place: Erica Scott's Life, Love and Spanking. Erica is one of my best friends, and if a week goes by where I don't get to see her, it seems like it's been too long. Her blog is heartfelt, honest and hilarious, and she's been a role model for me in my process of opening up and talking about my real life on my blog more and more.

Another one of my favorite blogs was nominated: Pandora Blake's Spanked Not Silenced. Pandora's blog is an amazing mix of important intellectual discussion of spanking, D/s and pornography topics as well as very personal, introspective writing. She's also been a big influence on me as a blogger, and I followed her writing closely back before it ever occurred to me that I would meet her!

A third blog that I really enjoy which has been nominated is Snowflake Roasting Service. I don't actually *know* S and Snow, the couple who runs what is probably the best original content tumblr spanking blog of all time. It feels like I do, though, because their exhibition isn't just for spanking and sexual play: they share a lot of their lives with the internet. I've talked to S a few times over the past couple of years, too, and he's always been super friendly and nice. Definitely A+ people doing top quality amateur content.

I don't really know Hermione, who writes Hermione's Heart, either, but she's very dedicated to keeping the conversations in the spanking blogs world going, and she blogs with consistency that makes me jealous. She writes in a way that makes her feel like an old friend, and I really enjoy following her.

I had never visited the other nominated blogs, but I'm definitely going to check them out now!

There are several other categories up for voting now, which I will certainly talk about in the next couple of days. Getting writing done has been hard recently because there are a lot of distractions when I'm away from home.

Speaking of writing: over the past several months, I've mentioned that I've been working on two big projects. One of them is ready to reveal: I've just finished writing my first ever spanking romance novel, which will be released by Stormy Night Publications in the next couple of days. I'll be posting more information about it soon, but it's been a big undertaking for me. I've never written anything longer than a 30 page academic paper before, so writing an entire book was a challenging and exciting process for me. I loved writing it, though. It was an interesting experience, too, because as much as I write about my personal life and as many spanking stories as I've shared, I almost never write about sex. I had a ton of fun creating all the sex scenes in my book, borrowing bits and pieces from long term fantasies of mine and from actual experiences (but you'll have to read it and try to guess which ones are which). The book explores a lot of themes that I find super hot, although not necessarily the ones I do on film: specifically, it's chock full of medical play and age play scenes, but of course there's a very high dose of spanking, too. I personally think it's super hot, and I hope that you'll give it a read when it comes out. So, stayed tuned for more information on The Doctor's Little Girl in the next couple of days.

Anyway, it's the middle of then night in the timezone where I currently am, so I need to head to bed.
More tomorrow!
❤︎