Liebster Award?

I know, I know, everyone's done this by now. I'm very late to the party. I may have even been nominated on some other blog and not noticed due to being ignorant or something. None the less, in traditional, fashionably late Alex style, I now present to you:

I believe you are all familiar with drill. I believe that this game is a bit played out now, though, so I shall not be nominating anyone. None the less, here are my eleven random facts about me:

1) I take a bath in the tub nearly every day. I'm a bit addicted to them, and I'm convinced that they are good for keeping the skin on my bottom soft and spankable.

2) In addition to being a spanking and, it would probably be fair to say, discipline fetishist, I also have some level of fetishistic feelings towards selecting and wearing cute or ornate panties and knee socks, wearing a large number of layers of clothing during cold weather and bandaids, especially cute bandaids and especially when they are applied to me by someone else.

3) I once hit our State Bird with my car. I was rather distressed.

4) I'm currently grounded from USING THE LIGHT OVER THE STOVE because I keep leaving it on by accident. This is probably the silliest thing one can be grounded from ever, and it's even sillier that it really bothers me.

5) There are only five decorative things in my living room: a signed and framed photo of Morena Baccarin that was a gift from a friend, a picture of my deceased elder brother, a periodic table, a small jar filled with origami stars which Zeki made for me and Barry and Bearito, my two flocked bears that Malignus bought me during my first two trips to Bear Country, USA. 

6) The other day, I passed out unconcincious in the middle of the grocery store because I hadn't had enough water that day. It was a pretty unique experience, but I don't recommend it to others. 

7) I want a puppy, but the deal is that I can't get a puppy until I can beat Malignus at chess. I'm not good at chess. :(

8) I only learned how to swim about a week ago. I wouldn't say that I'm good at it, but at least now I can do it to some degree without looking like a total fool. 

9) My favorite ice cream flavor is peach. Mmmmm. 

10) I was once spanked so hard that my fake eyelashes came off. I was surprised that this was possible. 

Eh, fake eye lashes don't make that big of a difference, anyway. This was taken earlier in the evening before they came flying off my face. 

11) The fact that there are 11 items in this list is really going to ruin S_F's day. :D

And now, on to the questions that were posed to me Kaelah, over at Ludwig's Rohrstock-Palast: 

1. What was one of your first kinky fantasies which you can remember?

My original spanking fantasies were very unformed and mostly just involved the actual act. Even as a child, I fantasized about adults in Domestic Discipline relationships, although I didn't know that was the name for it. I also fantasized about being spanked by my peers, or by teachers or other authority figures. It wasn't until grade seven when the stories I made up in my mind became complex and included reoccurring characters and complicated discipline scenarios.  

2. What makes you happy about blogging?

I like to write, and I like to share that which I write. Blogging has been a great outlet for that, and it lets me ramble on to a bunch of people instead of just talking my friends' ears off all the time. :) 


3. Did blogging ever made you sad? If yes, why?

A couple of times I got into a slump of not posting, and this made me really disappointed in myself and therefore lead to me posting less frequently. That totally made me sad. I've only really been able to stick to my desired schedule now that I have YS enforcing this for me. 


4. Please describe one of your happiest kinky moments.

Over the summer, I spent six consecutive weeks touring the county and shooting/filming. I didn't get back to Sioux Falls or see Malignus until after Shadowlane. When I arrived home, he had suffered a concussion at work that evening and he called me as I was getting off the plane to let me know I was not to tackle hug him for health reasons. There was quite a bit of regular hugging, though. We were both super exhausted that night, but he still spanked me two different times before bed, effectively melting away all the stress and exhaustion that had built up over a long period of travel. I felt so safe and content over his lap, and I was as at home as a girl has ever been. It's wonderful to have a relationship where I can go out and have those sort of adventures and come home to be right where I belong again. :D


5. What do you like about the kinky community?

Everywhere else, my fetishism makes me weird. Period. No matter how accepting a vanilla person is, within a group, if people knew just how much of my life was dedicated to spanking and D/s related activities, people would ostracize me. Here, I'm just one of the gang. I feel safe from judgement and like I can be my real self. :) 

6. Are there things you don't like about the kinky community?

I don't like Politics, and sometimes, spanko politics pop up. "You filmed with so and so and I hate them, so now we're not friends anymore" and that sort of shallow thing. I also dislike drama, and things like back stabbing, and unfortunately, that happens from time to time, too. 

7. Please describe the most memorable development that you made in your kink (for example, meeting fellow kinksters for the very first time or becoming open for a new kind of play).

Probably the most memorable development for me would be when I came to learn about and be comfortable with my submission. I previously only identified as a bottom, but I eventually discovered that submission is really gratifying and an excellent way for me to grow. I've been much happier since I started down that path. 

8. Are there crucial elements in your kinky play?

For a scene to be gratifying to me, it either has to be spanking related or be something that another person with a strong scene presence or energy is really into, in a way that he can bring me into it as well. I did several scenes with IG that just weren't stuff I'd normally be interested in, but which brought me into an awesomely submissive headspace because it was entirely about his enjoyment and that was something that our relationship made work. I can't just get into something else with some random person, although truthfully, it's rare for me to really get into a spanking with someone I don't really know unless he is very talented at the mental side of things. 

9. Do you have any pet peeves when it comes to spanking storylines or videos?

I hate it when someone says something wrong in a video and they don't go back to correct it. For example, I once watched a video where a Top was lecturing a girl during a spanking and he said "If you live under my house, you live under my rules." What he meant was "If  you live under my roof, you live under my rules." I couldn't keep watching the video, because I was too busy imagine this poor girl who has to live in the crawl space under his house and still obey all the rules. 

10. Is there any kinky fantasy that you haven't played out (yet) for fear that the real experience won't be able to match the appeal of the fantasy?

There are a lot of things that seem appealing in my head but are not in the real world. All spanking related things have turned out to be awesome in the real world, but a lot of things that I was curious about outside of that turned out to just be really uncomfortable or creepy in the real world. I'll even daydream about things that are excessively violent or scary beyond what's appropriate, but there's a different tint to those. I know that spanking is my fetish and that things related to that are things I want to do. Other stuff is a big question mark. 

11. Please describe one of your spanking (real life or story) fantasies in 11 or fewer words. 

Heather W. and I have a glitter explosion. Spanking ensues.

Happy Spanksgiving!

Well, this is belated.
That's what always happens to me with holidays and events. I'm kind of amazed that I managed to make my LOL day post on LOL day.

I do have a fairly good reason for my delayed posting (although it didn't keep me out of trouble for breaking the blogging rules): Malignus and I traveled to Texas to spend Thanksgiving with likeminded friends there, specifically WearYouOut and LilLawBrat. I stayed with them in August and spent time with them at three other parties, and we've grown very close. Debs, Mila Kohl, Zoey Wicks and Morgan_ were other friends that we got to spend lots of time with. It was just wonderful to spend the holiday with chosen family. It was pretty much the best holiday of any sorts that I've celebrated.

Our flights to Texas on Wednesday went pretty seamlessly: Malignus slept basically the whole way and I read some Foucault and then played games on my phone once my brain got sufficiently tired out for philosophy. When we arrived, we were quickly greeted by LLB and we drove back to their house where I proceeded to pounce all over everyone who was there and demand cuddles. We went swimming and in the hot tub, which we would end up doing every single night. After we dried off, Mila and I snuck off for some girly catching up which we followed with Mila playing Bright Eyes' "Lua" on her ukulele while we sang together (Mila is much better at singing than I am). I kind of wish I had a video of this to share with you, but for some unfortunate reason I don't film 100% of my life. :P The night wrapped up with Malignus giving me a super relaxing bedtime spanking before we fell asleep in a really comfortable guest bed and slept until 11 the next morning.

Thanksgiving day itself was extremely fun. WYO and LLB don't really let me help around their house too much (because they want me to actually take a break for once!) but I helped out wherever I could get away with it. I also followed them around the kitchen asking a bunch of questions, so I hope that I picked up a few extra cooking skill points (I often see myself as a Sim, with the blue skill bar over my head filling as I do certain tasks). LLB also bought me coloring stuff because I didn't have any with me, so I drew name plates for each of the guests at the table. I don't have photos of these, either, because I was kind of just living in the moment, but each one was ornate and tried to capture the aesthetic preferred by the person being labeled (to the best of my understanding). Zoey's was kind of my masterpiece- her name was written in block letters filled with hearts, and then there was a kitten peaking up over the edge of the paper. Following his preferred style, Malignus' was a plain white piece of paper with "Malignus." written on it in plain black lettering. :P

The Thanksgiving meal was pretty much the best meal ever. The turkey was perfect, there were tons of amazing sides and no one fought at the dinner table (something that's NEVER happened in my family of origin). I was extremely thankful to be there with such lovely friends.

After dinner, we participated in the Thanksgiving tradition which I started last year: thigh turkeys.

I put the faces on in post this year, since having the marker on my skin last year was really annoying. 

In case anyone doesn't know, turkeys really hurt, but they look pretty amazing. Zoey also received some turkeys, but Debs opted out for reasons that were somehow related to her boobs hurting. :P

After I healed a bit, we ate some delicious pie (really, one of the best pies of all time) and then swam again. I went to sleep feeling snuggly, sore and full-- pretty much the best possible combination.

On Friday, we avoided Black Friday. In fact, I think this is the first time that I successfully participated in Buy Nothing Day (totally by accident), although Malignus bought me and my friend Pandie a matching present (which I won't post about until she gets hers).
Friday involved lots of spanking, of course, including some experiments with new-to-me implements.

Getting spanked by LLB!

And of course, what holiday is complete without me being spanked to the point of tears?

On Saturday, we ate Stanley's Famous BBQ, which is basically the best place to eat in the world. That evening, Debs came over again and there was lots more spanking, including some extremely unacceptable implement usage. I also got nibbled on by WYO and LLB's dog, Henry. It was kind of annoying when he nipped under regular circumstances, but when he decided to take a little chomp on my welted thighs, I got a bit cranky. :P

Malignus approved of Henry's "aftercare" 

In general, Malignus and that dog got along perfectly. Apparently they are both missing each other like crazy now that we've gone home: WYO reports that Henry has now "given up hope and is acting like an ass."

So, I know this isn't the most exciting post I've ever made, but that was my weekend in a nutshell. It was amazing to spend time with a whole bunch of people that I care about so much. It's very nice to be home again, though. :)

News Day!

My blog is clearly not about the latest in spanking news, but today, I have a few things that I'd like to point out.

Item of business number the first: 
I've updated the template of the blog to be more visually appealing, and to include a kind of awesome new header, featuring a photo of me which was taken by my good friend Amoni Jones. I've updated my blog roll to include only blogs that have recently posted. If you took a hiatus from blogging, please send me a note when you return so I can, once again, include you. If you're interested in trading links, please email me at alexinspankingland@gmail.com. For those of you who are interested in the details, I also updated the blog description and added a separate section for my disclaimers, which were also updated. I'll be going through the static FAQ and cast of characters pages to update that information next. I'm happy to say that the current layout of the blog is much closer to what I originally intended for the page to look like during its inception.

Item of business number the second: 
The 2012 Spanking Awards are open for nominations over at The Spanking Spot. I'm really excited to announce that, at least in this preliminary stage, I've been nominated for New Spankee of the Year, Creative Blog of the Year and Spankee of the Year (the title currently held by my most beloved Ten Amorette).

Does this make a photo of me and Ten naked together topical? Please? 

I really wish that I could say that this sort of validation isn't important to me, but that would be a huge lie. Until the spanking community, I was a quiet and forgettable girl. I could hardly get anyone to sign my yearbooks in school, let alone dream of being a superlative. I always fancied myself Most Likely to be Completely and Utterly Forgotten, Most Likely to be Shunned by Family and Friends and Spend Life Alone Due to Perverse Obsessions or Most Likely to Have Her Dead Body Discovered by a Public Librarian. I'm obviously now a very different girl than I was when I was younger, but I imagine it will take years to shake those feelings from the back of my mind. So, needless to say, this is a matter of huge excitement to me, and I'm really just overwhelmed with joy to have received nominations, especially from people for whom I have great respect. This makes me super happy. I went ahead and nominated a few people myself. If there's someone you feel should probably win a prize, go ahead over and list them.

Item of business number the third: 
I can't remember if I mentioned that my sets have been up for a while now on Real Spankings and Real Spankings Institute, but in case I did, I'll mention it again. I feel like I haven't done an "updates" sort of post for a while, so it's likely that I did not. I had an absolutely fabulous time filming with Betty Blaze, and I can't wait to go back and shoot again.

Shooting with Real Spankings was extremely exciting for me, because it was the first spanking site that I really looked at when I started using the internet for spanking related things, and I'd followed it on and off for years. It was just magical to put on the uniform myself and become part of that world.

Additionally, a couple of days ago my first clip went up on Amateur Spankings! Filmed during TASSP, this is an interview style video, which, of course, includes my butt:

I advice you all to go check those out. :)


Item of business number the fourth: 
For those of you who don't yet know, my best of best friends, Heather Green has launched a blog: The grammatically challenged musings of Heather Green. She's only posted twice so far, but I'm sure there is quite a bit more to come. In case anyone hasn't heard, Heather is incredibly sweet, a dedicated friend and, despite what the name of her blog might suggest, quite a smart chick.

From Northern Spanking. She's also a knock out, basically. 

Anyway, I recommend that you all go check her blog out. I expect it to be down to earth, honest and full of a seriously dorky sense of humor (just like my dearest Heather).

Item of business number the last:
One of my favorite stores for buying spanking related things, Paddles and Panties  has released Christmas themed items, including holiday paddles and seasonal panties.

Obviously, these ones are not for me.

I think that the idea of having special panties for each season is a VERY good one. They also have items for guys, which I think is fairly special considering the frequently heteronormative nature of the spanking community.


I have a good spanko friend who happens to have a phobia which is a bit unique: she's afraid of Santa Claus. This would probably make a pretty effective punishment implement for her, right?

I know that's cruel. I'm sorry. I can't help it. 

It's now 2:30 AM, and I'm behind schedule on my posting schedule as enforced by my wonderful Boss of Me, YS, so I stayed up to finish this one up, only to get a Semi-Boss scolding me off to bed. So now that I have finished, I shall check for typos in the morning. Heather W, if you see anything, PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

Obnoxious Comments Revisited

In January I made this post detailing what kind of comments I frequently received on Fetlife that I did not appreciate. This post created some controversy, because people don't like to be told that they are doing something that pisses others off. I actually lost a friend because he said that I was too picky about comments. -_-

Fetlife comments that are annoying, not appreciated or offensive continue to be a problem. I've branched out to notice several new types of annoying comments. Here is the updated list. Please note that this post isn't exactly sweet and positive. If you don't like this or you have some kind of delicate sensibilities and can't deal with me using "harsh language" then I suggest that you skip this one.

1) Creepily sexual comments. 
I've already pretty well established that excessively sexual comments from strangers make me, and NEARLY EVERY OTHER GIRL ON THE INTERNET at least somewhat uncomfortable. I do acknowledge that there are some girls who get off on the idea that a stranger wants to put his tongue in them for hours, but those girls really aren't the majority. I'm moving on to include "creepily sexual" in this category, because those are even worse. Topping this list is the comment "I hope you are looking forward to me sneaking up on you to give you a good fuck." I hope the commenter is looking forward to me stabbing him the throat in self defense. Strangers being sexually forceful isn't actually hot. It's just...rapey. In a bad way. In a "if this comment was a neighborhood that I was driving through, I would lock my doors" kind of way.

2) Sexualizing non-sexual pictures or trying to force a picture into a different fetish. 
I know that Fetlife is about kink. It's also basically where I hang out all day. I have more friends that I actually value, talk to and visit on Fetlife than any other place. Because of this, I sometimes post pretty vanilla stuff to my Fetlife page. I try not to post things that are excessively "Vanilla and Unpopular" like pictures of what I ate for dinner or a photo of some rocks, but I do post pictures of me just hanging out and doing regular-person stuff that have nothing to do with kink. It makes sense: I do stuff other than get spanked. I wear clothes most of the time. My whole life isn't one big spanking video. Sometimes, commenters don't understand this. Once, someone commented on a photo of me and a friend (I think Heather) at a mall or something with "Did you guys have sex in the foodcourt?" No! We walked around and looked at clothes, talked about whatever we were feeling insecure about, drank an Orange Julius, tried some dresses on and then went home.
Another time, I posted a photo of a cake and someone commented that he wanted to jizz all over it. Fuck you people.

Equally obnoxious to me is when people try to make up a story which fits my photo into a different fetish. For example, I uploaded a perfectly innocent photo of myself in the corner and someone commented with "Sent to the corner with a butt plug and vaginal dildo in place and told not to touch yourself." No, just sent to the corner. End of story. You can think about whatever you want when you look at my pictures. Just don't write those words down if they aren't the kind of thing you share with everyone else.

Popular among my friends is the story of a comment that was placed on this photo:

This awesome photo is by Amoni Jones. I love her forever.

This is a picture of me that my good friend, Amoni took during an Alex in Spankingland themed photo shoot. At some point, I'll be re-doing my blog to include some of these photos in the layout. I feel like this picture is fairly straight forward, especially considering that the next photo in the series is of me bent over that rock behind me with my bare, spanked bottom on display. I'm about to be spanked and I'm petulant about it.

According to a commenter, this is a photo of "a young school girl pissing out of doors."
Oh. Ok. I GUESS I can see where you could kind of get that idea from. Maybe just a little.
Anyway, this became hilarious because I was amused by the syntax "pissing out of doors" (when he clearly meant "outdoors") and did a literal demonstration (without actually peeing, of course) of what that looks like in my head: a girl opens up a door, stands in the frame, then thrusts her crotch forward in an attempt to piss out of the door. I imitated this a lot at Chicago Crimson Moon this October. I also got spanked for doing so. :P

3) Complaints about pantie placement/what I'm wearing/how I'm posed/other details
I personally like panties a lot. I buy lots of cute ones, and I want to take photos wearing them. I love the way that my red butt looks sticking out from my panties. Often times, when I take pictures, I'll pull my panties back up after a bare bottom spanking because I like that look. So. Many. People. Complain. About. This. It's almost enough to make me not want to post photos of my butt to the internet anymore when I post a picture and I get comments like "that should have been on the bare" or "why did he leave your panties up"? It isn't like I never post bare bottom photos. I'd say it's a pretty even split. If you don't like a photo with my panties up, go look at one with them down. Bam. Problem solved. Once, maybe a week after a photo of me having been spanked in my swimsuit was uploaded, someone commented on it saying "Could you take one with the bottoms pulled down?" Oh, yes. Let me go back in time to when I got that spanking and take a picture to your exact specifications.
I get these complains about lots and lots of things. "I wish your pajamas were dropseats." "Next time, take a photo where you're bent over the couch." "Take pictures during the spanking, not after." -_-
I usually just delete the offending comments and then move on with my life. One that I found particularly annoying was left on this photo:

This is probably my favorite photo of all time, leaving aside a couple of pictures of me and my brother, and it's certainly my favorite spanking related photo. Why do I like it so much? Because those moments when I'm worn out and crying after a long, hard spanking and Malignus is holding me and calming me down are some of the most special moments in my life, period. This is the only time when there was someone else there at that moment with a camera, so it's the only photo that I currently have of this kind of moment. It's also from the first time that I visited Malignus, before I was his girlfriend, before we moved in together and built the life that we have now. It just brings up a lot of positive memories. It always makes me smile.
Someone commented on it saying that it would be better if my socks were white.
dfghosdoghosiudghdfioughdiufghiusefhisuefgtsuygfidfgisufisufgisudfhisufhiosuediufgiuhijbdfsdfhs!!!!!!!HNUIU!

4) Comments not related to photo.

This is a practice that a lot of people are guilty of that I just find really rude: commenting on a photo to say something which is unrelated to the picture. One time, one of my friends uploaded a photo of her thighs after they were spanked and it turned into a giant discussion regarding whether or not thighs should be spanked. Another time, a different friend uploaded a picture of her being spanked by a play partner and several girls started using the comments there as a place to brat their Tops. People start having side conversations. Someone comments on a photo to say something that's just about themselves and is only tangentially related to what's being pictured. A girl uses someone else's photo comment thread as a place to be disrespectful to someone who isn't even included in the picture in order to get attention. All of this is just, in my opinion, unacceptable. If you want to talk about something like whether or not thighs should be spanked, start a thread. If you want to brat your Top, go write on his wall or IM him. If you want to talk about yourself, post your own goddamn picture. I'm not saying that my pictures are uploaded just so that people will talk about me and pay attention to me, but it's still my photo, and that's not the right place for your discussion. You can argue this with me if you don't agree, but I really find that disrespectful to the person who posted the picture.

5) Your ass is too pale/Those marks are too much. 

I don't bruise like I used to. A really hard and severe spanking can leave me in a condition which photographs as "pink". I've accepted this. Not bruising is convenient when doing lots of shooting: it means that I can do back to back shoots and never have to worry about asking Tops not to mark me. It just doesn't always look as epic in the photos. People complain about this, or they diminish the intensity of the spanking that I received. "Nice warmup!" or "Off to a good start!" comments are always kind of snarky in a way that I don't appreciate. On the other hand, when I *do* have noticeable bruises, there's always someone who comments or otherwise points out to me that they think it's "too much for their taste." My spankings are tailored to me. I don't upload photos from something that wasn't a positive experience. If I'm bearing marks and I've photographed them, it's because *I like them.* Aren't you people ever satisfied?!

6) I like the one on the left. 

In general, I don't like it when I upload pictures of myself and people talk about me like I'm not involved. "I like that girl's ass." "She's got nice tits." Those aren't enough of a peeve to warrant me including them as a category here. What really bugs me is when I upload a picture of me in a group of girls and someone comments saying which one of us they like the best. This happens a lot with my Sternwood Academy pictures, or pictures of me hanging out with friends at parties. Someone will comment and say "The third girl in is the hottest!" or "I like the one on the left." Nothing makes a girl feel great like saying "Your friend is hotter than you, I just wanted to point that out!" It doesn't matter if the girl that they are singling out as "the hot one" is me or not. It just isn't nice. Not to mention that the language used in these comments is often really objectifying. Harumph.




-End of List of Things I Don't Like-

Because for the fast few months I've been trying to focus on the positive in life, I'm going to do a quick positive affirmation to make up for all the negativity in this post.

I get LOTS AND LOTS of awesome comments that make me feel great about myself. I love it when people take the time to let me know that they enjoyed what I wrote or a photograph of me. I love it when people tell me that my cuteness made their day. I love it when I inspire people to to take their own photos or write their own blogs. I love it when my friends are concerned about me and want me to be happy. I love my readers. I love it when people reblog tumblr pictures of me and attach my name and link to them when someone just uploaded a promotional picture or whatever. I love it when people comment on my blog to just say "I read your post and liked it." I love my friends. I love my boyfriends. I love my Bosses of Me. I love my sisters. I love spankings. I love my hair. I love my pajamas.

Also, I recently drew this as an assignment from YS. Pretty epic win, huh?

A Sort of Q and A

On a regular basis, I look at what search terms get me the most traffic. I'm not obsessed with search engine optimization or anything, but I do like to know what people are looking for when they come here. From time to time, though, I sort through the less popular search terms. I'll go through the whole list! Some of them are laughably weird. Others are more of what I'd expect. There are quite a few people that reach my blog by typing a question into a search engine. This is a practice that makes me think of my friend and former blogger Sophie, who first discovered the internet spanking world by typing "How do I get a spanking" into a search engine.
I've decided that I'm going to go through and directly answer the questions that were posed to me indirectly through the form of my search terms. Sounds like fun to me. :)

Q: How do I care for a spanked bottom?
A: I recommend referring to this post for detailed information on the subject. In the immediate short term, I recommend ice, lotion and, if available, gentle butt massage. :)

Q: Are spankings really enjoyable?
A: My immediate answer to this would be "fuck yes!" because to me, there's no question. There are a lot of intricacies to this, though. For example, disciplinary spankings are by no means enjoyable, even though they are important to me and an extremely effective tool in the process of my amelioration and growth. Other spankings are only enjoyable because of the feeling of submission which they conjure up in my heart and the satisfaction of knowing that it pleased my partner to spank me in such a manner. At the end of the day, though, being spanked by someone who loves me makes me feel loved, no matter the situation or atmosphere. There are always going to be spankings that are less enjoyable: the awkward ones when getting to know a play partner, the guy at a party whose style just doesn't click with you at all, the Top you don't really know who accidentally crosses some kind of line, et cetera. So, I can't say that ALL spankings are enjoyable, but as a general rule, yes, spankings are awesome.
THAT SAID, I am speaking from the viewpoint of a true, hardwired spanko. I sometimes try to imagine what it would be like for someone who is not one such to experience a spanking. I would imagine that for someone with other interests in bottoming in the kink community, it could be anything from a nice change of pace to slightly humiliating to downright strange. Those who aren't already interested in having painful things done to them would probably be extremely shaken. I can't begin to fathom what it would be like for a vanilla person to experience the kinds of spankings that I do. I've talked to a number of Tops who really fetishize the idea of spanking a vanilla girl, but it just seems really, really awful to me (unless, of course, you only gave her a very symbolic spanking).
To finalize my excessively long answer to this, spankings are almost always enjoyable in some form, if you're a spanko or a kinkster interested in spanking. Whew!

Q: Black nylon cane. Good?
A: I have a black nylon cane. It was a gift to me from SF. It's one of the harshest implements I own, and it's pretty scary. Malignus is impressive skilled at caning and he uses it well, but because it's a very dynamic implement and has enormous flexibility, it's very difficult to manage. If you're a Top who is good with canes and looking for something whippy, flexible and capable of delivering a world of hurt, then yes, it's good. If you're a bottom, no, it's not, unless you're really looking to be sorry, want to be pushed to submit or are a crazy masochist.

Q: Capsaicin cream before or after spanking?
A: As a general rule, when capsaicin has been applied to me, it's been after a spanking. I have had it applied and then been given additional swats to the area (this was on my inner thigh) and said additional swats felt horrible and made me roll around all over the floor. I suppose it could be used before, in order to make the entire spanking feel like that. Be careful to avoid getting it in eyes, nose et cetera, and not to get it on broken skin. Multiple reports suggest that this is actual torture.
Or, you know, you could be a nice person and not use it all unless you have arthritis and need to warm your joints. That'd be cool, too.

Q: Describe a spanking with an ebony hairbrush.
A: Heather W, in one of our first conversations, described it like this: "...then he spanked me with an ebony hairbrush, which, in case you weren't aware, is no different than a ROCK." The material which is closest in effect to an ebony hairbrush, in my opinion, is a small, thick lexan paddle. Ebony is just different than other wood, in a "oh holy mother of god, this hurts!" kind of way. It's heavy, and hairbrushes have a small spanking surface, so they provide very concentrated pain. They're also usually a pretty comfortable shape for the spanker to hold, so they can get a good grip and really get you with it. While I really hate being spanked with my ebony hairbrush, it's something that I do appreciate, because it's highly effective. It's a formidable implement. That's the best phrasing I have for it.

Q: Did God make the butt for spanking?
A: No. In my opinion, God didn't make the butt for anything, because I entirely reject the belief in deities and in creationism. However, the evolutionary purpose of the human buttocks is not related to spanking, either. Rounded butts on female humans evolved for the purposes of showing off estrogen levels and healthy amounts of fat stores, and to emphasize the size and shape of pelvis and highlight the child-bearing capacity there of. Aside from protecting the tailbone, a fleshy butt seems to have no evolutionary purpose besides to look hot. The cultural evolution of the concept of spanking (both consensual and otherwise) is something that fascinates me, and which I'd like to learn more about in the future, especially as it links to the confusing nature of how, exactly, spankos came to exist.

Q: Do girls like to be spanked in tight jeans?
A: As a general rule, I wouldn't even say "girls like to be spanked" at all, as I described in an earlier question. I'd personally rather be spanked on my bare bottom than on jeans, because of the increased vulnerability and the fact that this feels warmer and closer to the "ideal spanking" which is imprinted somewhere in my mind as a comfort zone. I do appreciate the protection that jeans can give me, and the nifty fact that when Malignus hits me really hard with a cane over my jeans, it leaves cane stripes on the denim!

Note, I have a crazy wedgie here because my ass was swollen from getting spanked all weekend long and didn't fit properly in my jeans at the moment this was taken.

 Q: Does it make a spanked bottom feel better to rub it?
A: It won't cure it, but rubs definitely feel nice on a spanked bottom. The appropriate amount of firmness depends on just how sore the bottom is, but I've never been spanked in such a way that at least light rubbing wasn't soothing.

Q: How do you heal a bruise caused by spanking your wife?
A: Arnica is supposed to reduce bruising, but I don't use it. I've never seen much of a difference whether I used it or not, and it often just dries my skin out. I find that the immediate application of ice followed by massaging and sometimes gentle hand-spanking is the best way to prevent and then get rid of bruising.

Q: Help me become a spanking model?
A: Email me at alexinspankingland@gmail.com if you want more information about this!


Q: How are cane-iac products labeled when shipping?
A: They arrive in a long, cardboard package with no spanking related words anywhere on the package. I can't remember the name on the return address, but it's just a kind of unusual sounding name.

Q: How old were you when you got your first spanking from your boyfriend?
A: I, personally, didn't get a spanking from a boyfriend until I was 24 and Malignus became my boyfriend. I got spanked for the first time when I was 18, but I always had different Tops than boyfriends until Malignus. :)

Q: How do I hire a spanking model?
A: This is another more complex and business related question which I will answer if you email me. :)

Q: Is capzacin ok to use on a bruise butt for spankings? [sic]
A: It is safe to apply capsaicin cream to a butt after a spanking whether or not bruising is present. It won't decrease bruising, and anyone who is telling you so is just lying to you to try and trick you into accepting the cream. Capsaicin hurts a lot. Some people enjoy this kind of hurting, while others stand in front of a fan for hours while crying. I lean more to the side of "standing in front of a fan crying" but it's different for everyone. :D

Q: Should a punishment spanking cause crying and tears?
A: There really isn't any "should" to spankings in my opinion, aside from the fact that I very firmly believe that only consenting adults should be spanked. In my case, disciplinary spankings pretty much always cause me to cry, and I wouldn't feel properly chastised if it ended before the point of tears for some reason, and I'd probably ask to be spanked more and harder. It really depends on the person, though. Some people just can't cry from a spanking.

Q: Should a spanking leave a woman's bottom bruised?
A: Again, there's no "should" here. It's hard to bruise my bottom at this point, although Malignus did succeed at that this weekend. I used to bruise at basically a touch, so it was impossible for me not to be bruised after a spanking. Those physiological differences have to be accounted for, as do social reasons such as people who might see bruises or welts and not accept them and, of course, the preferences of both partners.

Q: What is a spanko?
A: A spanko is a person who fetishizes spanking, or a person involved in BDSM who has a strong preference for spanking related activities. A "hardwired spanko" is a person who has had an interest in or obsession with spanking since their early life and a "spanko purist" is someone who only fetishizes spanking and not other BDSM activities.

Q: Will my first spanking make me cry?
A: This really depends on you. Mine did, although not immediately. About half way into it, I started to cry, and I ended up really sobbing and bawling. This was mostly because it felt so goddamn good to be finally getting a spanking, and I was able to finally let go of all the anxiety that I'd built up around it from the time that I was a child. Some people do not cry the first time they are spanked, but later become comfortable enough with spanking, their Top, themselves et cetera to be able to cry. Some people never cry from a spanking. This is a frustration to some, but others don't really have any interest in it. It depends on you. :)


For whatever reason, I had a lot of fun doing this. Hooray!

LOL 7: Reaching Out

Well, today is LOL Day. It's the 7th annual, and it's my second.

For those of you who don't know, LOL day is Love Our Lurkers day. It's a spanking bloggers' holiday focused around bloggers appreciating their readers and readers coming out of their shells and "de-lurking": going ahead and hitting the "comment" button and letting us know a little bit about yourselves, why you enjoy reading et cetera.

I want to take a quick moment of your time to talk about reaching out.
For the first five years that I was getting spanked, I didn't reach out to anyone besides my own, personal community. Having met SF and his wife in the vanilla world, and having one other vanilla friend come out to me as a spanko, I felt that I was "all set." I had a wonderful Top, a strong, female bottom as a role model and a peer with whom to commiserate. I knew that there were other people out there who were into spanking. I read a few blogs and looked at videos from time to time, so I knew I wasn't all alone in the world anymore. But the idea that these people could become a significant portion of my life never crossed my mind. I hid behind the computer screen, shy and afraid. When I first joined Fetlife, I would literally shake with nervousness every time that I posted to a group or commented on a photo. I worried that I would look stupid, or that my take on spanking was somehow wrong. I even tried to be bratty because that seemed to be the way that the girls online were connecting, even though that's really not me. (Sarcastic? Yes. Ridiculous? Absolutely. Bratty? Very rarely, and only when it's clever.)
Eventually, though, I found my niche. I gained confidence. I made friends. I began to explode out all over the internet, and then all over the real world. My life is now deeply intertwined with the spanking world, and I love it that way. I'm by no means suggesting that others get as involved as I did. That's not for everyone. But taking that first step and not being afraid to reach out can be a turning point.

I'm very thankful for the people who helped me to make the transition from a lurker to a member of our community. My friend Al, who suggested that I sign up for Fetlife and who took me to my first munch, PrincessToy who was my first peer in "the scene," the people on Fetlife who accepted me into their community, the first friend who encouraged me to reach out and build real relationships and, of course, Malignus, who, among countless other things, taught me how to safely navigate the scene, to make a place for myself there, and to fully accept and celebrate who and what I am.
So. Much. Love. ♥

It's your turn, now! Go ahead and comment! Make my day. :)

Colospanko, Part 2

The other day, I noticed that things had gotten out of hand with my lack of blogging. Blogging had ceased to be a regular thing and become something that happened once in a while. I, of course, blamed this largely on the fact that I'm almost never home these days, but even that isn't really an excuse. I can write when I'm busy. It just takes a certain level of dedication. Fortunately, I have a fairly new Boss of Me: my bestie, ellee's husband, YS (his name is YoggSothoth on fetlife, but I find that too long to type). Included in my new set of rules for this relationship is the fact that I'll be updating at least twice a week. I'll also point out that YS has given me bunny related coloring as an assignment and this, my friends, is why Poly D/s works: because that's the kind of thing that makes Malignus die inside.

 That said, I was very excited to see that my first half of my adventures in Colorado (which took place over a month ago, now, I'm ashamed to say) was featured on Chross the weekend after I posted it. Unfortunately, I started to write my next post while traveling home from my second Denver excursion. Following Denver, I was home for a few days with my most beloved Malignus. I spent as much of that time as I could with him, and the rest cleaning things up, organizing and preparing for my next trip. I then left for Chicago Crimson Moon, and then a day off at Ten Amorette's place. I arrived home late Tuesday night and had a crazy first week back with my attempts to get caught up on a lot of things and settle back into the home routine.


When I left off, I believe I had told you all about how a very mean Robert had cut switches, and how we had brought them back to the house where Malignus had also used said dreaded arboreal implement on me. After he finished with me, I'm pretty sure he also switched Heather W. He then started looking around for Amoni, but couldn't find her. ellee informed him that she had broken her ankle and gone to the hospital. Several minutes later, she was found hiding in the secret room under the stairs. I suppose she intended to stay there for the entire party. It wasn't the worst plan, really. ellee probably could have brought her food to keep her alive for the rest of the weekend. Unfortunately, in a house with a room called "the secret room," it's pretty easy to figure out where someone might go for a hiding place. She was quickly dragged out and brought to justice over the ping pong table. It turned into quite an event, with many people sitting on the beanbag chairs in that were intended for watching TV in order to view much more interesting programming. Other girls were enlisted to hold Amoni's hands and feet, as she's a very active bottom ("This isn't jazzercise!" Malignus had exclaimed earlier while Amoni was getting spanked by Robert and kept kicking her feet up). After Amoni had been thoroughly dealt with, she got hugged by just about everyone. Later, ellee was also corrected for her part in attempting to create a subterfuge regarding Amoni's location. :)

Shortly after that, we all kind of plopped on the bean bags to talk and hang out. Malignus still had his switch in hand. This is something that he tends to do at a party-- he'll just hold onto an implement for a while. I suppose it's a "just in case" kind of thing, or maybe it's meant to intimidate the heck out of all the girls in a room (which works on me, at least). I was sitting in a dress, with my legs visible  and I had one of my terrible thoughts. Sometimes, the morbid curiosity of something really gets the best of me. As much as I know I'm not going to like what I discover, I sometimes want to know how something feels badly enough that I'll ask for something downright awful. Besides, active submission is always a good thing, and I've always gotten a lot out of asking for the most awful of things, when I can muster the courage to do so. Anyway, I asked him to hit me on the front of my thighs with the switch. He did so three times, making me cry and yelp quite a bit. There was hugging, and I rubbed my welts, feelings sufficiently like I now knew what that felt like. I've spent a lot of time thinking about the differences between switches and canes of various types, and I think I've finally come to the conclusion that switches are not as bad as nearly all canes, but are very similar in sensation. The exception to this, of course, is when a switch is not entirely "clean" and has little nodules on it which scratch or tear the skin, or when the switch in question is made of rawhide, which is entirely unacceptable. I was going over these thoughts in my mind after my thigh switching when Malignus decided that there was "too much of a gap" between two of the welts. Instead of fixing this "problem" with the switch, he got a rattan cane and ordered me to lie back. I believe there was extremely minor protesting (mostly sad faces, perhaps a few whimpers) but I did as I was told.
The pain was considerable. It filled my body with adrenaline immediately. I think I sort of folded onto myself.
"Oh, no! I missed and hit you right on your welt from the switch!" Malignus said. (Note: he did not actually miss. He never actually misses. "Misses" are just an excuse to give me extra strokes.) Being as good as I could, I lay still for another stroke, this one seeming much harder than the last. I sat still catching my breath a bit before getting lots of hugs time and cuddles. It was one of "those" things. I just hated it while it was happening. It was the worst thing ever. I wasn't even that fond of the physical feeling afterwards. But everything about it felt perfect. I felt wonderfully submissive and very Dominated (which are, to me, distinct feelings, since I can feel submissive all on my own) as well as warm with affection, adrenaline and endorphines. I can't exactly describe why I love that sort of thing so much, but I do.

I think that in the upper right hand corner, Malignus is threatening to poke the welts with the corner of his cigarette box.

Another thing which was super entertaining, whose location in time I can't properly place, was when Heather W. spanked me. For those of you who don't know, Heather W (or Parttimelondoner, or PTL) is a minor boss of me. I say "minor" because she doesn't really boss me full time. She just occasionally gets the urge, and when she gets the urge her bossiness is very real. She has also been a wonderful role model for me, as she is older and more experienced in things, has great social skills and is very talented at knowing when and where "bling" is appropriate. Anyway, she had always threatened to spank me with a flip flop, so on the way to the cabin from the airport, she and ellee, YS and Zoey stopped at Walmart to pick up a few extra things. One of those was a "special" pair of flip flops for Heather to spank me with. Apparently there was a lot of consideration put into this, and she made sure not to get one which was "too mean" for me.  Later at the cabin, she sat down next to Malignus on the coach and I lay over both their laps while she spanked me with the flip flop.

SCRUNCHY FACE!

After this was complete, Heather handed the flip flop off to Malignus, and that happened. Yep, the scariest man on Earth spanked me with a fluffy, pink flip flop. And it still hurt.

Over panties with kitties on them, no less! Parties are different than the real world. :P

A few days after the cabin trip was over, I was leaving for a trip to Los Angeles. When I pointed this out to Lily and Robert, they invited me to go to Disneyland with them, and this actually appeared that it would work out! It was something that I got excited about a few times a day. Then, one night, Robert pulled me upstairs to spank me (or I pounced him and demanded he beat me. Somewhere in the middle of those two things, I guess). I know that he enjoys listening to my pathetic wails and, most of all, my crying, so I didn't hold back. Besides, he spanks hard, and it's well documented that a hairbrush on the back of my thighs has long been my nemesis. So, he spanked me hard and murdered my thighs thoroughly and I cried and sniffled. When it was over and he stood me up for a hug, he tussled my hair and said "We're going to Disneyland!"
Best. Aftercare. Ever.

I had *bruises*! Rare! 

On the last night, we were all spread out in the cabin, doing our own things. Then someone suggested that we make s'mores, and I got everything together. I actually didn't know much about roasting marshmallows, so YS took the time to show me how to do it perfectly. I always feel special and loved when someone is teaching me something. Unfortunately, once I got some perfect marshmallows going, no one was coming over to eat s'mores. I got mad. And I got Toppy. And, apparently, slightly crazy. I yelled out to the house the following message: "THE FIRST RULE OF S'MORES IS YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP AND COME HERE AND EAT S'MORES."
Only one person did.
I'm not good at being the boss. -_-

A final, lovely memory is getting one of the nicest spankings of my life. At one point, YS put me over his lap and gave me a hand spanking that must have lasted 40 minutes. I just let go of all other things and blissed out over his lap. I felt safe and comfortable and protected while being in that most vulnerable of positions. He alternated between being rhythmic and soothing and hard enough to make me squirm and I floated away into one the happiest of places. It was really one of the nicest things ever. I'm constantly fascinated and amazed by how much awesome variety can come under the heading of "spanking." The same activity can last 40 minutes and make me coo or bring genuine tears to my eyes in five seconds or less, and I love all of it (in it's own way).

Anyway, the cabin was a great success, except for the fact that getting everyone back to the airport was a huge fiasco and we bought way too much food. But, if those were the biggest problems of the weekend, I'm pretty okay with that. ♥