Turn and Face the Strange

I haven't written anything all month long.

This is one of my longer hiatuses. I have gotten a few concerned emails, asking if I'm alright, or if I've retired from blogging or something. I'm just fine, and I've certainly not gone away for good. I haven't *meant* to go away at all. It's just been difficult to update recently, due to a combination of circumstances.

The changes in my life sort of began in earnest several months ago when Malignus and I ended our romantic, and then later, our D/s relationship. At the time, I didn't feel that I could write about it without being dramatic or excessively emotional, so I simply didn't. It wasn't a secret, obviously, but I didn't feel that it was appropriate to sit down and write a big post about how we'd split up. The process was obviously not easy, but it was ultimately the right thing to do.

Additionally, and un-relatedly, YS and I have recently decided to end our D/s dynamic. We've grown and changed as people, and our dynamic was no longer serving the same purpose that it originally did. The dynamic had become punctilious, and more of a formality than anything else as we both developed in different directions.

SF is currently taking a hiatus from the scene because a horrible personal tragedy befell him recently, and it's taking a long time for him to recover from it (quite understandably). I know he'll eventually be back, and he knows I'll be there when he is! PTL and I have a horrible combination of impossibly busy schedules (hers much more extreme than mine!) and therefore have little time for bossing interactions these days. That was mostly just "for fun" anyway.

In the meantime, this means that my flowchart has become pretty straight-forward:

Current Bossiness Flowchart

As opposed to this, 9 months ago:

This didn't happen by design. It's just been a year of changes. Nothing's quite as sure as change. There's lots of room for off-chart bossing in my life, of course, and there's a good handful of people that I choose to listen to when they tell me to do something.

There's another very big change that's happening in my life: I'm in the process of moving from Sioux Falls back to Los Angeles. It was time for that, and it just makes sense right now. Last week, Epipelagic came to visit and she helped me to pack ALL MY STUFF into boxes and space bags. Space bags are one of the greatest things of all time, by the way. Watching all the air get vacuumed out of the bags is extremely gratifying. Once everything was packaged, Epipelagic did most of the organization of my car. It nearly defies the laws of physics. She turned my car into a bag of holding. She's a wonderful friend, by the way, and I'm so glad that I'll be living near her again. I value our friendship so much, and I can't wait to see how it grows and develops in the coming years.

Leaving Sioux Falls was hard. It's never easy to leave a place where you lived, even if I was never truly suited for life in a small, Midwestern city like that. I'll miss everyone that I got close to there very much. I realize that I didn't have a very drawn out or formal goodbye process as I left. I can't really say why that is-- it just felt like leaving quietly was the most comfortable thing for me to do. The other day, I drove from Sioux Falls to Denver, where I had a few shoots before continuing on my way. Driving away from the place that had been my home for the past two years was difficult. I was dazzled by the beauty of the landscape as I passed into the part of the state that wasn't so flat. The sun was shining through the clouds, and it would start to rain, but the rain never lasted long.

I'm in Denver for a few more days and then I'm going to Texas to see Mila, WYO and LLB, do more shooting and sessions and probably swim in the pool in my underwear some more, because that's how I do. After that, Mila and I are going to drive from Dallas to Vegas, stopping in New Mexico to visit Heather Green for a bit, and in Phoenix and or Tucson for shoots on the way. Vegas, of course, will be Shadowlane, the superlative spanko gathering place! We'll be heading to Los Angeles from there, where Mila will visit for a few days and then I'll begin my new life there. It's tremendously, amazingly exciting. I can't wait. I love everything about the life that I'm going to have.

So, that's the state of things right now. I'm ultimately in a very good place, and my life is only going to get better and better.

Most Delightful Spankings

I am going to get through this complete narrative if it's the last damn thing I do. I don't know why it's so important to me that I do, especially because adventures keep happening and piling up and it would make more sense for me to cut my losses and just jump to the more recent. But I'm going to. Really. 

I know there has been some lag in when this blog has been updated, but I guarantee you that this time, I'm on a good schedule for quite some time now. Thanks for sticking by me as I've been busy darting around the world on spanking adventures. Your readership means so much to me. 

The first person to spank me on Friday morning at BBW was YS. After getting ready for the day, I crawled up on his bed and we chatted about things that were going on in my life at the time. When that was finished, he put one leg out and put me over it (a very practical form of on the bed OTK) and then spanked me. He spanked me with a bunch of things, but I didn't really get a good look at them. I just got a good feel of them. Many of them were wooden, and they hurt. It was still early in the day, and I think I may have been a bit whiny about things at first, but I quickly broke down and let myself fall into things. Damn, it hurt. YS almost always spanks me quite hard, but I felt very safe and comfortable in the position that he put me in. I was somewhat physically resistant, though, by the standards of this relationship. I clutched at the blankets and wiggled a bit and despite being reminded to, I was unable to keep my body relaxed. I worked at it as the spanking went on, and I think I made some progress, but it wasn't easy. When YS was finished, I felt very physically worn out at first, and cuddled on the bed next to him for a while. After that, I was back to my perky self, and we went off to lunch. 

I think that Beth took this photo. If so, thank you, Beth!

I spent a lot of the rest of the day hanging out with friends and having fun. At one point, I did something annoying to TheBadAlex and she responded by whacking me in the knee. This left a bruise that will become significant later on in the story. [God, Bad Alex, stop being such a bitch!] Later, we went to the meet and greet and I hung out with a nice variety of people, as basically everyone was there. The Famous Kat, who I met for the first time after years of internet friendship, showed me a place where I could stand on the balcony and it would make my dress fly up. I like that. I like that an awful lot. The lightweight nature of dress material is an important factor in my selection of clothing on a windy day. :) 

Win!

After the event, SpankingJoe (different than Drlectr) and Bad Alex and I got together to talk in Joe's room. This was a very complex proceeding that involved Joe setting up chairs in front of a desk and getting out a big, school type paddle. Because he knew that having the two of us together would probably result in mischief. Alex did, indeed, say something off color or complain about something, I don't remember what, and she ended up being bent over the desk for ten swats. I probably gloated a bit about the fact that she was getting spanked, and I think she certainly would have found a way to throw me under the bus (such a bitch! Damn you, Bad Alex!) but it was time for me to go. 

Earlier in the day, I had a very intense conversation with Lucy, which was really wonderful for me. It's part of my personal life, the stuff that doesn't go on here, but we talked about a lot of things and she looked after me in with a level of dedication and caring that was more than most people ever have in my life. That's not meant to put anyone else down, just to say that she went above and beyond the call, and that I adore her for it. Part of this involved her setting things up for me to play with her partner, Stephen Lewis at a set time and location, and that time was nearing. 

Stephen and I had never played together off camera before. I knew that I liked scening with him for work purposes very, very much. He's good with characters. He's willing to be a bit weird when the scene calls for it, and he's very willing (perhaps even eager) to go to the darker places that I have recently found that I delight in. We weren't going to roleplay this time, though. We were just going to be ourselves, and I was greatly looking forward to that.  I knew that he plays hard. I'd seen photos of him having played with other girls where they were quite marked. It may have only been Friday, but at that time for my own reasons, I wanted to play hard. I wanted someone to beat me, and soundly. I felt very stable and secure because I knew that he would. I knew that I didn't need to ask him to, or to sell him on the idea. I felt confident that he understood me enough to do what needed doing. As I walked to the room he and Lucy were sharing, my heart pounded against the inside of my chest with heavy anticipation. My tummy felt funny. It was wonderful.

I knocked on the door and he opened it. We talked a bit, and then he put a straight backed chair in the middle of the room and took off his jacket, having me hang it up. Then he put me over his lap and he began to spank me. I had let him know that I wanted my thighs to be spanked as well, and he was more than willing to do so. Every smack hurt in a way that radiated through my body. Often, when I really feel the need to be spanked hard, I find myself easily overwhelmed when I get what I need, lost at sea, struggling and crying and that letting go process leaves me feeling strong again. That wasn't what happened this time. Stephen spoke to me very positively, and the combination of his words and the pain that grew and grew in my bottom and thighs (especially when he switched from his hand to a lightweight little hairbrush type paddle, and then to a much heavier and thicker one) made me feel edified. I didn't feel like weakness left me and afterwards, that hollow space left was inflated with strength. I felt all the things in me, the feelings and the vulnerability harden into an unbreakable, positive core. I felt safe. I felt like myself. I felt like everything that had been dark had been illuminated. 

I didn't cry. I had assumed that I would, but instead, I felt joyful. I could feel the red growing, could feel that there were probably purple speckles forming, especially on my sit spot and thighs. Each smack felt hot, and burning tingles radiated out from the center of the impact. Finally, eventually, it ended. 

"This is about what you need," Stephen said, "but it's also about what I want. I want to cane you now, so I am going to." I was, in that moment, entirely submissive, which is a rare thing for me when I'm playing with someone with whom I don't have a dynamic. I knew that it was a temporary and fleeting thing, and that was fine, almost positive feeling. Having it be an encapsulated moment instead of a part of a timeline (not to say that we'll never play again, as I'm certain that we will have other chances to, but there was nothing being built or worked at, it was just a moment) made it all that more refreshing, and I needed that. 

I climbed over the end of the bed to be caned. I think I took a total of 33 strokes, many of them on my thighs, although by no means all of them. He used several different canes, increasing in intensity as they went on, but I don't remember very much about them. I just remember the process: calm, stillness and then a white, hot pain, and then the secondary pain that follows-- an aching, chewing pain. Then calmness, and another interruption. When it was finished, Stephen sat at the head of the bed and I cuddled against him for a while, having quiet and gentle conversation about how well I took my thrashing. I felt proud of myself. Instead of getting hung up on something I hadn't done the way I'd like to, I just felt pleased with my endurance, my reaction and the whole experience  And I felt sore. I felt incredibly, incredibly sore. I almost didn't want to sit. My thighs felt swollen. I was bruised and welted. I was happy. Stephen is a really good friend, and a wonderful Top. 

During the post-scene cuddling, we talked about various things, including why getting hit on my thighs was so important to me. I think everyone who reads this has heard it a million times: I like getting hit on my thighs because I hate it. It challenges me. It pushes me. It's the first thing that ever really made me acknowledge my submission, and it continues to be effective at getting inside my head. "There are other things that I think could be like that for me, but that I'm too scared to even try," I told Stephen. He asked me what those things were. "Like hand tawsing. I've been hit on the hand with other things before, less serious things, and it's just far, far too painful. I can't endure it." I told him the story about how I somehow ended up on the other side of the room insisting that I was literally going to die the first time that Malignus had hit me on the hand, and he had a chuckle at that.

"If you ever want to try it, you should either ask Lucy to do it or Mr. Allen, since they're the best at hand tawsing," Stephen told me. 

"I know I'll eventually want to try it. I have a horrible morbid curiosity, but I'm just not there yet. Maybe in six months or so I will be. Right now, it's just far too scary." This was acceptable, and the conversation moved on to other things. Eventually, it was time for me to go and get changed, as the Vendor's Fair was that night. 

I took this photo when I got undressed to change in my room later. Sore girl!

This story will continue in the next post. Stay tuned! ♥

BBW, continued

I find it tremendously difficult to write about spanking parties after the fact. 
So. Much. Happens. It's hard for me to tell what things are interesting and worth writing about and what things are needless details. It's also unfortunate that I never really get around to writing about them as soon as they happen, as I tend to have quite the backlog. So, I'll do the best that I can. If I don't mention a fond memory that I shared with you there, please don't be hurt. It probably means a lot to me, too. 

The first thing that I clearly remember about Thursday of BBW was Richard Windsor's pool party. I was full of bounce and excitement that afternoon, and I spent lots of time with Pandora again, making up for all the time that we had been apart. We splashed around in the pool a bunch, and later moved into the world's biggest hot tub*. Here, I ran into my friends Korey and James Johnson (of Stormy Night Publications) and we got to catch up. I hadn't seen them since July, and we had lots to talk about, including reminiscing about a most ridiculous night at CCM and, once again, discussing How To Have Two Concubines For Five Dollars A Day®. Korey and I engaged in lots of girl talk, which continued out of the pool and into the changing room. Eventually, Pandora had someplace to be so she took off, and I got dressed and headed out of the pool.

I actually wore jeans at a spanking party. No one died. Amazing!

I wandered off somewhere and ran into my friend BradD. Brad and I had known each other for a long time over the internet, and he's always been really kind and supportive towards me. We'd hung out briefly at other parties, and he was meant to go to my cabin party but unfortunately fell ill and couldn't make it. As things went, we had never played together. Now seemed like as good a time as ever, so we headed up to his room. We chatted a bit more before things moved rather seamlessly to me being over his lap. I hadn't played yet at this party, and Brad was very kind about warming me up gently, first spanking me over my jeans. I don't get spanked over jeans often, since I much prefer to run around in skirts at parties, but I do very much like the feeling of it. There's basically no stinginess and just the feeling of impact, which is very similar to the way that my mind interprets spankings once I've falled into a subspace type mental state. Because of this association, the "over the jeans" spanking made me very passive. Soon, though, Brad had me get up and he took my jeans down before returning me to position, where he commented that he liked my underwear. That's always points in my book right there. He then spanked me over it, and I was quite surprised by the difference. His hands are big and firm, and he was very effective at spanking with them. I squirmed a bit, but my attitude was mostly giggly, as we were both in very high spirits and he was simply spanking me because we both enjoyed it, and we both enjoyed each other. I love a huge variety of types of spankings, but there's something very pure about that type. We do the thing because we love the thing. 

When the spanking was completed, I felt simultaneously properly warmed up to play for the rest of the party and delightfully close to Brad. It really was ideal. Unfortunately  I didn't get to see much more of him for the rest of the party, so I was glad that we got that time, and it started things on the right foot for me.

Shortly after I left Brad's room, I got a text from Lucy letting me know that she and Stephen had arrived and were in their room. Lucy and I had been texting while we were both in New York, but our schedules hadn't lined up (largely because of my running around) so I hadn't seen her since I left her and Paul's house in England nearly a month ago. I headed up to their room and had hugs, plus the showing off of fancy fabric that Lucy had purchased in the garment district and the return of all the stuff I had left in England because it didn't fit in my suitcase, despite Lucy's nigh godlike packing ability. It was very nice to catch up with her and Stephen, as I'd missed being around them since I left England. From there, I think I went to see The Bad Alex, Latte and Josh, but I'm not clear on this order of events in the least anymore. I know that I did get to see them, and that I told Latte that I was pleased to meet her, as I do every time I see her, since the second time that we hung out I was half drunk and another half asleep and temporarily had no memory of our first meeting. It was good to see her and Alex again, though, and immediately I got up to mischief with them. It was also lovely to meet Josh, as we'd corresponded online for quite some time, and he was really, truly nice in person. I also got to meet a girl named Feisty, who clearly lived up to her name. :)

I'm usually really quite good. Really, I am. At one point, though, when Josh started spanking someone, I decided that some of the implements in the room were just to mean for the public eye, so I hid a couple of them.

No one noticed that I did it. That's the benefit of usually being so good: people don't watch you as closely.

I then texted Alex from across the room to let her know that I'd been up to something already, and she swore up, down and backwards not to tell if I told her what I'd done. Because I trusted her, I did. Instantly, she threw me under the bus. INSTANTLY. She didn't even give me time to get my fingers off my phone's keyboard. What a "great friend."

"Hey Josh! Alex hid your cane." Alex said. I was shocked and appalled, and sheepishly returned it. Of course, I got whacked with it. That's how this works. That doesn't mean I didn't protest, and most of my angst was about what a horrible, lying tattletale Alex is (like a lot of my friends, it seems).
[Dear Bad Alex: fuck you. Love, Good Alex.][There is a message to Bad Alex in invisible ink there. Don't read it if you think that I should be nice to my friends on the internet.]

I think it was after this that we went down to the Burger Bar area for registration and hanging out, where I got to see a bunch more people that I was quite excited about. I spent that entire portion of the evening flittering around from group to group, trying to see everyone and catch up. Finally, YS texted me that he and ellee had arrived, and I literally ran to the room number he had sent. There were hugs and very quick cuddles, as it was approaching an event that they needed to be at. It was lovely to see them. They're some of my favorite people.

The rest of the night was kind of a blur. There was a mass spanking of several of my friends for some sort of prank that I wasn't entirely aware of, but which was very entertaining to watch. It was especially visually appealing to watch the portion that involved YS spanking Beth, as YS is a joy to watch while he's hitting woman. He moves his body in a way that looks strong and powerful, and he has a smug look of satisfaction on the entire time. After the event was over, the group dispersed and I don't really remember what I did, but I'm sure it involved running around and probably getting spanked. As the evening drew on, Pandora mentioned that she wanted to spank me before she went to bed so I climbed over her lap. She was wearing the most ridiculously wonderful dress ever, which she had purchased while we were on the boardwalk earlier in the day (I just don't remember when that was). It was low cut and tight to her body and made her ass look perfect. I hadn't been able to keep my hands off her all night. It was very nice to lie over her lap while she was dressed this way. And by "very nice" I mean "it was hot." Pandora spanked me with her hand while I giggled and moaned over he lap, and I felt very nicely connected to her. As Pandora noted in her post, it was only made less than perfect by a bystander commenting about how cute it was that there were two little girls spanking each other. Shut up. This is serious business. Well, maybe not, but it's still no less serious than any one else's play, and certainly not something to patronize us over.

As the night wore on and I was getting tired for bed, YS decided that it was time for him to "get me," much to my delight. Not so much to my delight, he had found a cracker barrel type paddle (I think) that was one of the most evil things I've ever met in that manner. He bent me over a spanking bench and began to spank me with his hand first, and then with this horrible thing. As usual, he spanked me hard. As usual, I wailed and cried. I felt a bit odd about doing this with people around, especially since PTL had previously been asleep on the sofa pretty close to where my face ended up being, but eventually I lost myself in it. At times, I felt myself panic, tighten, feeling unable to take it but YS reassured me in his usual way: "You're okay. You're a sweet girl" and this softened me up to take more. When he finally stopped, I felt swollen and bruised (although I didn't really look too much worse for the wear, due to my body's natural magic these days) and we shared a cuddle. I also felt sleepy. Tremendously sleepy. It was late. So I headed off to bed, looking forward to another day of adventures. ♥


*hyperbole.

A Good Morning and The Bear Story

edited for gramatical improvement.

Friday night was a very good night. Everyone enjoyed each other's company, and for the first time ever, I got to go to sleep next to ellee and YS. He slept in the middle, and a few times in the night I woke up and turned over to see him sleeping next to me, only to become so excited about this fact that I found it hard to get back to sleep. While this sounds kind of cute when I retell it, it wasn't very practical.

As is usual for me, I woke up feeling slow moving and like it would have been very easy to become cranky. It was like, 9:30 in the morning when ellee and YS got out of bed, and I considered trying to just resist the entire morning thing and just keep lying there. I'm not sure if ellee did what she did next intentionally, having assumed that this would be the case based on her twinly abilities, or just because she wanted to, but she turned to YS and said "I know a certain Alex and ellee who did not get bedtime spankings last night." This was my fault: I had gone to bed earlier than the rest of them which had put a kink in the bedtime spanking routine. YS responded to this the way that any reasonable spanking man would: by giving us wake up spankings instead.

Wake up spankings used to seem like an inhumanly cruel idea to me. When Malignus first suggested them to me as a possibility when I was planning my first visit to his place in South Dakota ages and ages ago, I was originally pretty resistant. If I hate being awake in the morning in the first place, why in the name of Science would I want to find myself getting whacked repeatedly before I had even come to my senses? I agreed to give it a try, though, and found it to be very different than I imagined. See, spankings create adrenaline  Adrenaline is the opposite of sleepiness. Spankings also create endorphins. Endorphins are the opposite of grumpiness. I soon discovered that a wake-up spanking was the easiest way for me to transition from sleepytime to the land of the living, and I'm always appreciative when I get them.

YS set ellee and I up side by side and on the bed and spanked us with his hand, giving each of us a few spanks and then moving on to the next adorable, semi-undressed girl that he happened to have in his bed (YS is sometimes referred to as "The Lucky Bastard"). My mood and perkiness improved greatly as the spanking went on, and ellee and I held hands and sort of snuggled while getting spanked as we are known to do. After a bit, YS stopped and went over to some of his luggage.

"What are you doing?" ellee asked.
"I'm looking for some lotion," YS told her.
"Oh, I have that right here!" she volunteered helpfully. YS turned around and approached us with a London Tanner's spanking strop.
"I lied. I wasn't looking for lotion. Lay back down."
(♥ I love that kind of stuff)

We both got back into position and he continued to spank us with the strap, making us both produce our own distinctive vocalizations. ellee sounds much happier than I do when she gets spanked: she sort of chirps and purrs and makes all sorts of adorable and energetic sounds. I just produce a varying level of gasps, whines, wails and, eventually, sobbing sounds. Just as I don't fake orgasms, though, I never manufacture these reactions in my personal play. If a spanking doesn't hurt, I don't respond vocally. If it does, I generally don't hold back (although there are situations where some amount of holding back is appropriate). This morning, I was a bit whimpery, and crying out a bit, but still obviously very happy with the strapping I was receiving.

Post spanking coziness

Once we'd both been thoroughly spanked, we somehow ended up getting even further undressed for a bit. Then we finally got dressed and went out to get ellee some makeup products which she had forgotten. After that expedition  where YS also bought us candy and gave us each the occasional stray swat right in the middle of the mall, which I'm not used to at all and which made me blush ferociously, we ate a delicious breakfast then went to finish getting ready for the day. After I got out of the shower, YS directed me to the ironing board which was set up in the corner of the room. He showed me which shirt he wanted to wear that day and asked me to iron it, and to use the lint roller on it and also the pants that he was going to be wearing. This filled me with submissive bliss, as it was the first time I had ever had a chance to do a service-type task for YS (although I had made him sandwiches and things like that before our D/s dynamic started). I decided that for full effect, I had better do my ironing naked. (Dear Prestigious Women's College from which I graduated: there, there. It'll be alright.)

YS was pleased with my work and we both got dressed for the day. I asked YS if he wanted to pick out my panties for the day, which was something that would never have happened in any of my other D/s dynamics, but which felt VERY right in this case. He selected a gray, cotton pair that were cute and matched my outfit well (I actually happen to be wearing them RIGHT NOW). As soon as we finished this, he decided that he was going to spank me with my new hairbrush. He had purchased me a Mason Pearson hairbrush off of my amazon wishlist a little while ago as a thank you gift for being such a good girl (awwwww).

Some hairbrush related photos which I took for YS when it first arrived.

I had wanted a Mason-Pearson hairbrush because I had read about them in spanking stories for a long time, and they seemed both classy and mean. They're plastic, in case anyone doesn't already know, so I was not entirely sure how much it would actually hurt. I went over YS's lap again to find out.

It hurt. Specifically, it stung. I could have probably deduced this, since it was a firm but lightweight material. YS was able to get a good rhythm and motion going with it, and my bottom began to be overwhelmed with buzzing, burning, inescapable sting. I put my effort into not resisting, but I made quite a bit of noise. YS wrapped his other arm around my waist while he spanked me, going on and on with no end in sight. It built and built, but because of the nature of the implement, never descended into the gratification of thud, even when he started to give me harder swats. It just stung more. I had wanted to cry during the first spanking that YS had given me the day before, but I was too busy being happy and floaty. This implement was very good for that: it kept me very present and aware, but because of the emotional connection created by having had the implement purchased for me by my Dom, I felt very, very submissive. As both the pain and the submission increased, I started to make sobbing sounds. I didn't have a full out, proper cry, but I wailed and let go and a few tears came out. YS continued spanking me for however much longer he felt like, and then pulled me up for hugs tiem. It was perfect.

The rest of the day was very nice and it involved lots of fun times with various friends, as well as a few other scenes here and there and a complex and unusual prank involving a burrito which was maybe the funniest thing I've ever witnessed. I laughed so hard that tears literally rolled down my face. The most significant thing which occurred during the rest of that day, in my mind, was what I have been referring to when chatting to friends as "The Bear Story."

Right before we went to pick up YS and ellee, Lily Starr brought me into her room and gave me a present. It was an adorable brown teddy bear with a big, teal bow. As soon as I picked it up, though, I discovered that it was different than other bears. It's full of lavender and some kind of beans, and it can be put in the microwave to heat it up before cuddling. It's amazing! It's also really fun to play with because it's weighted and kind of heavy. I had a lot of fun swinging it around by it's various limbs. Lily then gave ellee a matching bear, which made things EVEN MORE PERFECT. Do you know why they make more than one of cute things? It's EXCLUSIVELY so that ellee and I can have matching ones. Aren't you glad I've explained that? I knew people were probably wondering. :P 

Unfortunately, this bear caused me a little problem. In addition to enjoying swinging it around, I really, really enjoyed whacking my friends with the bear. I know, I know, this is the most childish thing ever, but it was REALLY satisfying and I REALLY couldn't stop myself. Now, sometime before the party, I had called ellee to talk about a few things and the topic of people who I sometimes want to punch came up. The conversation had gone something like this:

Me: There are people in the world who I really want to punch, but I probably can't. :(
ellee: Oh! YS is here! Let me ask him! 
ellee (to her husband): YS? Can Alex punch someone if they're really horrible?
YS (super stern): No. 
YS (loudly, so that I can hear through the phone) Alex, you can't punch people unless they punch you first or they're trying to rape you. 
Me: Harumph, yes, Sir. 

That's the problem with Doms. They're always making all these rules that prevent me from punching people in the face, or getting hit by cars, or dying in a fire and they go around making sure that I get proper sleep and take care of myself and don't get arrested. (Thank you, Malignus and YS! I love you!)

Anyway, it had been clearly established before the party that I was not to non-consensually assault people. Really, this is also basically just common sense, and also part of my rules from Malignus, so there's no excuse for any of this.


But this bear. It was SO GOOD for whacking your friends with. I had done it a little bit without anyone saying anything, but on Saturday afternoon in Beth/Heather/Missy/Stacey/Jules/possibly more people(?)'s suite, I got to swinging the bear around and hit both ellee and Heather. Heather, being a boss of me, wasn't going to take any bear-smacking, so she grabbed me by the arm and marched me into a corner. My reaction was instinctual, if not entirely logical.
"YS!" I yelled. "Help! Heather's being mean to me!" YS gave a response about how he was not going to interfere with other people's dynamics while I stood there with my face in a kind of oddly smelling curtain. Then, I guess either ellee or Heather explained to him why, exactly, I was standing with my face in a kind of oddly smelling curtain.
"Alex!" he scolded. "Did you hit her with your bear?"
"No," I said, without any understanding of why that word was coming out of my mouth.
"Are you really going to lie to me about this?" he asked.
"...I meant no, I did do it."
Even though that made absolutely no sense, YS seemed to accept that answer.
Still, he added, "We're going to have to have a discussion about this later, I think." I gave a resigned "Yes, Sir," and returned my face to the corner.
"Oh no, are you mad?" ellee asked, concerned about me, because ellee is the sweetest friend ever.
"No," YS, consoled her, "I'm not mad. All this means is that Alex is going to get spanked later, which is the whole reason that we're at this party."
The promise of being spanked for it later sent a little shiver down my spine, even though I was in an environment where there was zero risk of not getting spanked, and I remained in the corner until Heather decided to let me out.

I rejoined the party and continued to have a nice time. Then, less than an hour later, I was sitting on the couch with ellee, YS and the same bear. ellee said something silly or teasing, and I responded by sort of tossing the bear at her head.
"She just hit me with her bear!" ellee said with shock.
"Okay," was all the YS had to say about this. What he had to say wasn't the important part, though. What he did was stand up, grab me by the wrist and lead me to a bar stool at the front of the room. I felt a surge of nervousness. While I was fully aware as soon as the bear-tossing had occurred that I'd probably be spanked for it, it hadn't occurred to me that it would be done right there, right then in front of everyone. The offense of throwing around bears wasn't particularly serious, but this was also the first time that I was getting a chastisement style spanking from YS since our dynamic began. He had given me an #offchartbossing "punishment" spanking during the second cabin party, which I described as this:

When ellee and YS arrived, we exchanged some presents that we had collected for each other, because we're the kind of besties who get each other cute things. ellee is really good at buying presents. I was overjoyed. In the middle of mini-Christmas, though, YS came into the room with an implement and a semi-serious look on his face. Heather, ellee, YS and -lostkitten had carpooled from the airport together, and they had taken longer than I determined acceptable, so I got a little beyond my bounds and sent a text to Heather scolding YS for getting everyone lost and taking too long. This was about to catch up to me in the form of my first spanking of the party. My sense of self preservation must not have been unpacked yet, though, because when he said "You got a little mouthy there, Alex" I responded with "My mouth was not involved! I was texting!"
Surprisingly, this did not save me, and I got ten firm swats, followed by a very nice hug and more presents. Have I mentioned that YS and ellee are pretty much my favorite people ever to live? Yes. That.

What happened this time was not ten firm swats, followed by a very nice hug and more presents. 
YS instructed me to bend over the barstool and he lifted my skirt. Then he asked whose toy bag was on the table. It belonged to StrictDave, and he happily offered the use of his implements. I could hear the distinctive sound of wooden things clattering against each other, to which I have a Pavlovian fear response. I instinctively looked back to see what had been selected. 

"Don't look back," YS chided. "Just keep your face forward, hold still and be a good girl." 
I did my best to do that. YS wrapped his free arm around my waist and began to spank me harder than he had ever before. The spanking was at a rapid pace and, from what I could gather, was with a wooden implement with a short range and a spanking surface about the size of my fist. It was the kind of hurt that burns and buzzes and very quickly overwhelms me, and I am pretty sure that I made pathetic vocalization for basically the entire thing. I don't remember YS saying anything to me throughout: no scolding or coaxing, just the constant presence of his other arm. That made me feel very Dominated: it was stable, secure, strong and unyielding. These are all important aspects of Dominance to me, and this non-verbal communication had a potent effect. I soon began to cry and apologize, entirely unaware of the fact that there were people around me. My entire world consisted of me, YS, the barstool I was leaning on, whatever implement he was using and an inescapable, undeniable, constant pain. 

The last time that someone attempted to correct me in a public party setting I felt extremely insecure about being observed in such an intimate act, even though it was much less serious and less intimate than this, and I fell into a panicked and upset state and prematurely ended the scene. This time, I was entirely comfortable and entirely unaware of anyone else. It helped that no one interacted with us in a disruptive manner: no suggestions were made, no one announced when I began to cry et cetera. It just happened, and it was perfectly natural. Finally, he finished and wrapped me in a hug. After I regained my calm, I got some ellee hugs as well (apparently her spanking empathy is so strong that she was almost crying watching me, and I assured her that I was not only fine, but I felt very loved and well taken care of). 

Quite soundly spanked.

YS sat back down on the couch and I climbed onto his lap and put my head on his shoulder. He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. 
"You're a very good girl still," he assured me, "but no more assault, even in jest." I melted into him a bit more. 
"Yes, Sir," I answered, my voice hardly above whispering, "thank you for correcting me." ♥

I later discovered that the implement I was spanked with is an incredibly evil hairbrush which should probably not exist. It's that big type of hairbrush which is somewhere between a hairbrush and a bath brush and could only possibly make itself useful by making girls cry lots and lots. 

Also, this is one of the only times that I've told a chastisement story on this blog. I usually consider this to be personal, and often sullied by public sharing but because this one was delivered in a semi-public setting, not over something deeply personal and very important to the narrative of my developing relationship with YS, I've decided that I have positive feelings about sharing this. I'll eventually write a longer post about my feelings towards punishment and the public eye (by which I mean it's been a draft for approximately 3 months). 

Part 3: Making it Real

So, I realize that everyone has read about a dozen accounts of the party I'm describing in this series of posts already. For the rest of the narrative  I'm going to do my best to focus on the things that were of personal significance to me, not just give a running list of what exciting things happened, which is sort of my impulse in this situation. The stories to be contained are things that I would have written about if they happened in another context, and many of them took place behind closed doors so even others who attended the party will be getting the details for the first time, so I hope I don't bore you too much!

When I left off in my last post, YS and ellee had just arrived and we were about to go pick them up from the airport.
We did just that. Lily, Robert and I got there a little bit earlier than YS and ellee did, though, so we did several "victory laps" around the airport while we waited. We had a nice time of it and just chatted about various things. We all enjoy one and others' company, so it wasn't that bad to wait. Finally, I saw them appear on the curb and I hardly even waited for Robert to stop the car before racing out and hugging them. They were obviously a bit tired from their trip, so I *tried* to tone down my excitement a bit, at least until we got to the hotel. Once we got to Joe and Ten's suite, everyone wanted to see ellee (as they should, for she is brilliant, sweet, clever, a very good girl, funny, loving, adorable and a knock out to look at, and I feel lucky to have such a wonderful girl as a friend) so I tried to sort of hang back and give them a little space. YS was called up to the suite where Beth Eisley and PTL were staying in order to discuss one of Beth's pieces of mischief (and to say hi, of course) so I kind of paired with Sophie again for a bit.

I was having a lot of feels. I'm a bit embarrassed about them, but they were there and they were relevant. I was simultaneously worked up into a sort of manic state from all the excitement, and worrying that I was being too invasive, and above all else, I was feeling insecure. Parties do that to me sometimes. I worry that people don't like me as much as I like them, or that I'm shockingly socially awkward despite my best efforts, or I start comparing myself to my friends and peers negatively. I know that all those feelings are pretty stupid and I've been very well educated in how to choose to feel secure, to acknowledge the bad stuff and focus on the good and get on with enjoying my life (which I did shortly thereafter). At that moment, I was having a moment. Sophie got me back to an even keel, though. She's a very good friend.

I felt a little bit sheepish when YS did come back into the main party room, but his response was exactly what I needed. He found me pretty directly and then told ellee: "I want to spank Alex." I was pretty immediately pacified by this. He lead me off into one of the bedrooms. I think someone else might have been playing on the other bed, but I had mental blinders on and I was aware of no distractions. He sat on the bed and put me over his knee as my heart pounded. Then he gently rubbed my bottom for a little bit as we talked. "This feels so right," he said, and I agreed enthusiastically. We talked about how much time had passed, and how close we'd been able to grow without actually seeing each other. Then he began to spank me.

Sometimes, when I'm emotional, a spanking has to go on for a bit before it brings me to my baseline and from there it can go upwards. Sometimes, when I'm in a really bad way, all it can do is return me to my center. This wasn't like that. I felt immediately relieved of my anxiety, and my worries and my awkwardness and I felt my mood begin to elevate, bringing me into a notably good place.

I knew that this was right. That I belonged there. That, in that moment, in that time and place I belonged to him.

I knew that this was real.

I don't mean that our D/s relationship hadn't been real before he spanked me, but this additional component brought it to a place that felt significantly different (and yes, better) to me. A lot of my most significant D/s interactions with all of my Bosses Of Me have taken place in a long distance setting. Still, there was something wonderfully right about being there with him, being in position over his knee and receiving a spanking from him. I felt safe and secure. My memories of this have a sort of shiny feeling about them, as if my mind has tagged them as positive and warm.

Eventually, he moved me so that I was just lying on the bed and got up. He started to take his belt off. "This is a new belt," he told me. "No one has ever been spanked with it before. I just took the label off upstairs." I felt very special at this news, and I felt a lot of positive apprehension.

While I've previously had mixed feelings about leather implements and I've gone through periods of time where that was an emotional struggle for me (more on that in another post), I've always loved it when YS hit me with a belt. When I first met him, his Fetlife profile image was this:

It is totally normal for me to have saved this photo to my computer. Hush.

When I first started in the scene, I used to think that belt-spanking felt a little bit abusive, and I wasn't at a point where I could kind of delight in that darkness or "own" negative memories. This picture was the first thing that made me question that. It's just... hot. Domly and manly and perfect. He's just got the ideal belting energy for whatever reason. To this day, that photo makes my stomach feel a bit fluttery.

From the first time that we met at the first cabin party, I've wanted YS to spank me with his belt, and he's always been happy to oblige me. This moment was no exception. I hugged a pillow and pushed my bottom up to prepare to receive it. My memory does not perceive the spanking as having been particularly hard, but more as being endorphine-y and enjoyable. At one point, he caught me rather firmly across my sit spot and I opened my mouth to whimper or protest, but the sound which came out instead was "Thank you, Sir."

This is something that Malignus taught me to intentionally say to keep myself focused on submission instead of starting to resist. If I tell myself that I want it, it becomes much easier to take and to take well. In this case, I hadn't even intended to do it. It just came out because it was the right thing to say.
"Spontaneous thanking. I like that," YS said with a smile in his voice. It added to the warm and safe feeling that was dominating my brain at the moment.

I don't remember the scene actually ending. I know that somehow I found myself being cuddled and comforted, and being very pleased with the soreness in my bottom and the fact that YS had put it there.

He told me that I was a sweet girl and stroked my hair a bit, and I responded with a much shyer "Thank you, Sir."

When we came out, ellee was happy and excited on my behalf, bouncing around with compersion. It made me grin. I knew that the rest of the party was going to be wonderful.
♥

The Adventure Continues: Roleplaying

I'm still alive! Safe and sound at Pandora Blake's flat in London. I've had lots and lots of adventures recently, and little time to sit down and write about them. Fortunately for me, Pandora has kind of Topped me into stopping being distracted and getting some writing done. Huzzah!

I left off on my story about the Vegas trip with the end of Thursday night, and I shall continue from there.

On Friday, I woke up in bed with Joe and Ten, which was a really nice feeling. There was a little more morning snuggling and chatting and then we got to work packing up all the things, because we were switching to a different room that day. A hotel bell hop came to help us move stuff, and we had the following conversation.

Him: Are you guys getting married (referring to me and Joe).
Me: (blushing) No!
Him: Haha! She doesn't want to marry you!

Obviously, that was too complex of a situation to explain to a stranger at that moment.

Him: So, what ARE you doing?
Joe: We're just fifty freaky people having a party.

Apparently, later in the day, when others were moving in this same hotel employee asked them if they were some of the "fifty freaks," which gave rise to a new name for our little gathering.

After helping with move in, I had my only working engagement for the weekend, which went swimmingly. When I finished, I started trying to figure out who was where. This was a little difficult because I didn't know where anyone's room was besides Joe and Ten and there was no other central gathering place. It turned out that a lot of my friends were hanging out elsewhere, so I spent a bit of time with Whooperine, and then a bit more with Sophie Grey. Despite the fact that I was having fun, most of my thought process for the day can be summed up this way:

YS and ellee will be here tonight! YS and ellee will be here tonight! YS and ellee will be here tonight! YS and ellee will be here tonight! YS and ellee will be here tonight! YS and ellee will be here tonight! YS and ellee will be here tonight! YS and ellee will be here tonight! YS and ellee will be here tonight! YS and ellee will be here tonight! YS and ellee will be here tonight! YS and ellee will be here tonight! YS and ellee will be here tonight! 

My excitement over seeing them was a little excessive, but I think it was justified. I basically believe that ellee and I have to see each other regularly or else we'll both die. Twin-drop can be terminal if not treated quickly enough. The time that we spend together is always beyond pleasant and I love having adventures, appreciating cute things, cuddling and getting spanked with her. We have our serious conversations, too, of course, and since we've known each other she has remained one of my most trusted confidents and a source of very useful advice.

As I mentioned before, YS and I hadn't gotten to see each other at all since we began our D/s dynamic in October. We've had lots of important conversations and found ways to engage that are really fulfilling and gratifying, but I was really looking forward to having propinquity with him. I was also really looking forward to being spanked by him again, especially now that we have our power dynamic. In fact, I hadn't been as excited about being spanked by someone since I was en route for my first ever visit with Malignus all that time ago. I spent a lot of the day alternating between bouncing and looking at the time on my phone.

That evening, everyone gathered in Joe and Ten's new suite, which was just lovely. The facilities were perfect for a group of our size and there were plenty of places available for playing. I got to spend some time chatting with various people who I like, including Lily Starr, Richard Windsor and Erica Scott.

Lily Starr and I in our adorable dresses :)

Now, as I previously mentioned, I had gotten myself into massive amounts of trouble with Richard and I was feeling very nervous about that (in a positive way). I really wanted to be spanked by him before said trouble, though. This was partially to sort of mentally warm up for the caning I'd be getting later that weekend and partially just because I've really liked and admired him for a long time, and that's what I want from Tops who I like and admire. :P

I'm still working on making my interest in being spanked by someone known, especially at a party. In general, I don't like being too bratty. I don't like to be a bad girl. I do know that the whole "I'm constantly good! Look how good I am!" routine gets old pretty quickly. So, I've been trying to find a balance between being humorously bratty with people who I know are comfortable with that without being actually "bad." Some of my early attempts with this didn't actually go the way that I would have liked them to, but that simply meant that more work was needed at finding the balance, not that it was time to give up. I decided to try again.

One piece of banter which has been enjoyable on Fetlife was the idea of "The 43 Minute Rule." This is basically just a bunch of girls teasing Rich because once he posted a new topic to "The Spanking World: Good vs. Bad" but then complained that 43 minutes later, it didn't have any comments on it, so he took it down. This lead to the idea that 43 minutes was the requisite time frame in which one must respond to anything. I'd been kind of abusing this particular banter, but it was funny, and there was something kind of daring about bringing it up again, because this whole situation is what lead to me getting myself into the trouble that I was waiting to be caned for in the first place.

While talking to Rich, I casually said: "You know, we've been at this party for a lot longer than 43 minutes."

"Are you saying that you want a spanking?" he asked. I smiled a little bit shyly.

"Yes," I acknowledged. He then took me over to the couch and put me over his lap. He started spanking me first through my dress, which didn't have too strong of an affect on me, and then through my slip. I was really glad that he noticed that. I like to wear dresses with slips and most people kind of just shove them out of the way along with the dress, but I think that the lifting of the dress and then the slip and then the lowering of the panties can be a really lovely anticipation building mechanism besides giving a kind of nice, retro feeling to a scene. Anyway, the spanking wasn't too hard, but it was really perfect for what it was. He scolded me while spanking me about how much trouble I was going to be in later, and it made my stomach flutter even more. He also let me wear his hat while he spanked me:

Thank you, Richard!

Later that evening, I spent some time talking to both Heather (all references to Heather in this post refer to PTL, Heather Green is not involved in this story) and Mike (spank33) about a roleplaying scene that I was interested in doing. It was mostly between me and Mike, but because he and Heather have a complex and wonderful roleplaying situation already, we decided that ours would sort of set in the same universe as theirs. We talked about what I wanted from it, and what our characters would be. The whole thing was a little bit divergent from my usual spanking scenes in a way that was really refreshing to me. We decided that I would do something to act out and break one of our pre-established rules and that he would then catch me and correct me for it. I discussed with Heather, and she agreed to help me out a bit. I waited a while so it would catch Mike off guard and then I left and went down to the Casino. After a bit, Heather went up to Mike.

"I'm really worried about Alex!" she told him (obviously roleplaying). "She just took off and didn't say where she was going. She's not answering my texts. I think she's gambling!"

Mike and Heather then took off to look for me. I had texted Heather and told her where I was "hiding" so that they could easily find me. Once they had, Heather began to rant about how worried she had been and how irresponsible I was, with Mike directing me upstairs with some quiet but serious sounding scolding (the whole thing was done in a way that was not noticeable or disturbing to vanilla people). Once we got into the elevator, things got a bit more heated and I was basically petulant and entirely non-repentant. When we got back upstairs, he sent Heather to go back to the party but took me to his room for a "serious discussion." My heart was pounding a bit, but I kept trying to play my character as nonchalant and whining. I even did a little foot stomp when he told me to get over his lap, and I insisted that I hadn't done anything wrong and that the rules were unfair and stupid. It wasn't until about halfway through the spanking that I finally let that be broken down and I became repentant and contrite. The scene went really, really well, and we were both happy with it. After we finished, he walked me back to Joe and Ten's room and once we ended roleplay mode, I happily shared the story with Heather.

Although my usual preferences for spanking remain the same, I'm very glad to have added the ability to enjoy roleplaying to my repertoire of enjoyable spanking atmospheres. I like it because it allows for me to connect with someone on an intense level at that particular moment without having to have a deep relationship. It allows me to get things out of my system which wouldn't be appropriate in other scenarios (a great use for all those lines that pop into my head but which I swallow down because the situation is serious). It involves lots of creativity and humor, which are always great. And it's fun. I always enjoy fun.

The evening continued to move on, although at a pace which felt very slow to me due to my excitement. Finally, it was time for us to go pick up ellee and YS from the airport, where the story will continue in my next post. :)

A Wonderful Arrival

I've had so many adventures now that I have to push myself to get the posts out before the memories begin to fade. I'll be doing two kinds of posts while working on this: the "party report" type posts that tell you what happened when and where and at least three "scene stories" that do a more intimate look at a particular spanking and what it meant to me. Stay. Tuned.
That said, I'm currently in Europe, so my posting schedule might be a bit erratic. I'm obviously going to do my best. :)

After many exciting adventures in Los Angeles, including spending a great deal of time with Mila Kohl, I got on my plane and headed for Las Vegas. I've been there twice before: once with Malignus and Heather Green for tourism purposes and once for Shadowlane. When I arrived, Lily Starr and Robert Wolf were kind enough to pick me up and bring me back to the hotel. I was energetic and apprehensive in a positive way. I had a lot of people that I was looking forward to seeing and I had built anticipation for several scenes. There were people I'd be finally getting to play with, friends I hadn't seen in a long time and, of course, YS. You may remember that back in October I reported that I had begun a D/s relationship with him. There have been several times since then when I've talked a little bit here and there about certain aspects of that dynamic. Still, I hadn't actually seen him since we began that, and I was really, really looking forward to that. I kept bouncing around the backseat of the car and talking way too quickly. I also felt physically a bit gross, though. Even though my flight was very short, it had a broken air conditioning system and I was seated next to two middle school age boys: not people known for their excellent personal hygiene. I was looking forward to freshening up.

While we were en route to the hotel, we got a call and were asked to go to Dana Kane's place to pick up Princess Kelley. We did that, and I was happy to get to see Dana, her wonderful husband and their sweet cat, Noodle for a minute. Hugs all around! I am really hoping that I'll get to see Dana at some point next month. She's just one of my favorite people. :)

When we arrived at the hotel, we took all my luggage (as seen in the last post) up to Joe and Ten's suite. I was spending Thursday night with them, and planning on moving in with YS and ellee when they arrived on Friday. Because the room where I was staying was also the party room, I was going to have to see everyone for a moment before I could get showered and changed. We knocked on the door and it was opened... by Richard Windsor.

Now, for those of you who don't know, I'd basically spent the past month or so being a very badly behaved girl towards him over the internet for the purpose of funsies. The whole thing will require at least one post of it's own, but it's the stuff of legend, in my humble opinion. There will be poems and songs for generations. :P

Anticipation building via twitter earlier that day

Over the last couple of days leading up to the party my "being bad is fun!" bubble had popped and I was very contrite and apprehensive towards the chastisement that I knew I'd be receiving, and I felt rather shy around Mr. Windsor when I first arrived. We had about five seconds of friendly, positive interaction, yet it gave me a whole new case of butterflies. I then ran around the room saying hi to everyone. I was pleasantly surprised to see Whooperine there. I had no idea that he was coming, and it was the best news ever. I basically catapulted into his arms and gave him a kiss. At this point, though I had reached a state of sweaty mania and I was running from person to person, hugging and bouncing and being overly energetic and entirely unpresentable looking. My hair was a mess and I had on JEANS (curse the day!) so I gathered up my bathroom stuff and snuck off to get presentable. I intentionally calmed myself down in the shower (doing all the "be here, now" stuff that Malignus has lovingly instilled in me over the years) and felt much better after getting myself cleaned up and put together. I got into a skirt and top and went back to the party. At this point Richard had vacated the room, which I found slightly disappointing as I'd had liked to make sure he didn't think I was running away from him out of fear or something, but basically everyone else was still there. After a little more talking, I had a new goal: I needed to pop the lid off this spanking thing.

I ended up starting my party play for the weekend with Robert. This was a somewhat unusual choice on my part. There are two factors that go into how hard a person spanks me. The first is a combination of that person's preference and ability. This is the Top's side of consent: we can only play as hard as (s)he is able to play and desires to. The second factor is my comfort with that person. The more I know someone, the more comfortable I am with being spanked severely by them. Malignus obviously gets the highest possible score in this system, being both a very mean sadist and one of the loves of my life. Robert is pretty close to the top, though. We've developed a great bond over the years and, to put it bluntly, he's mean as fuck (in a good way). He's one of the people I've played with the hardest, period. So he's not someone that I usually would consider asking to be nice to me. It's almost mean to him! "Here, Robert! I'm going to get over your lap and whimper and squirm as you spank me and I DON'T want you to make it all that hard!" is like telling me "Here, Alex! I'm going to give you this cute bunny and I DON'T want you to cuddle it." The spanking was really nice, though. He clearly restrained himself out of the heart-age. (Note: I am not implying that Robert murderizes every girl he plays with. That's just our relationship). After that, I sat on his lap and snuggled for a while as I talked to him and Lily. I felt really good: happy, content and surrounded by people I love.

Just a few minutes later, I was over Drlectr's lap for another spanking. Drlectr is really special to me, and I love being spanked by him. I adore knowing that he's probably got a grin on his face that he can't stop while he lays into me, and his lap is one of those where I feel the safest and snuggliest. I think that I also abused my snuggling-on-someone's-lap-after-a-spanking privileges after that scene, too.

My last play for the night took place when H, Cali Katerina's husband, decided to catch up with me over this photo:

I stuck this little gem of Christy Cutie, myself and Maddy Marks on Twitter a little while ago with the caption "Sterwood Girls gone wild!" The three of us all shoot for Sternwood Academy, so it seemed like a funny idea since we were all half naked and partying.

"You're a Sternwood Girl!" H reprimanded me, clearly in roleplay mode. "You should know better than to be running off to wild parties! You'll disgrace the institution!"

I was then bent over for a good, firm but not too firm paddling until I confessed the errors of my ways.
Everyone knows that I am a very good girl who does not do ridiculous things at parties, anyway.
Yes, I'm sure that's what the next few posts will prove.
♥

Curious About: Revisted

Over a year ago, I made a post detailing my spanking related bucket list. I've had an incredible variety of experiences since then, and I think it's a good time to look back on the things that I was previously curious about. I haven't done everything on this list yet, but I've been able to cross of a large number of the items. :D

Getting spanked with a bath brush
Check.

Not the best photo in terms of capturing the color, but still nice, right?

"Bath brushes are a nice thing to get spanked with," said no one, ever. 
Still, I'm glad to have added them to my repertoire of things that I get hit with. There's a certain comfort that comes from being hit with something you really don't like by someone that you trust. It's also a great implement for the times when I want to feel overwhelmed by a spanking. It certainly gets that job done. Scale is important to me: it's good to have implements in our collection that are somewhat comfortable on either an emotional level or which just aren't that physically awful and to have things on the other end of that spectrum. Still, it's not something I'm going to let just anyone hit me with. :)

Being co-topped
Semi-check

I've certainly had a few experiences with cotopping, but it's still something I'd like to explore more. One method of this which I've done quite a few times is a round-robin style spanking, where I moved from one Top to another getting spanked by each one. Another that I tried a few times, especially at the Cabin Party is the method where I was positioned across both Tops' laps and shifted forward so that the second one could spank me after the first finished (see photo above). Cotopping is something that I'd like to do more with, though. I'd ideally like to have two Tops, particularly people who I already felt close to, take turns between strokes, especially with one Top standing on either side of me. I've seen people do scenes like this at parties, and it's something I remain curious about. 

Getting spanked on a wet bottom
Check!

Swimsuit spanking!

This is another thing which I'm glad I've tried, but which certainly isn't high on my list of preferences. I experienced this for the first time during a video with Lily Starr where she dragged me out of the shower in order to put me over the bed and spank me with a bathbrush. Later, at TASSP, Malignus spanked me directly after we'd gotten out of the pool. I was a bit more dry then, but it still was extra stingy. At the Cabin Party, YS spanked me while we were in the hot tub outdoors, which was an assortment of interesting sensations: cold air, warm body, wet bottom. Later at that same party, the Tops all assembled to gang up on girls who were coming in from the hot tub and I got spanked by about six people in a row on my wet bottom. Lots and lots of adventures in wet bottom spanking!

Attending spanking parties
Huge check. 
In the past year, I went from having never been to any kind of spanking party to having attended two cabin parties, one local party in Denver, TASSP, two Crimson Moons and Shadowlane. I'm now basically addicted to them, and plan to go to all the parties, ever. :D

Sitting down in the snow after a hard spanking
Still curious.
There was no snow when we were in Colorado and that was the only time when I really got spanked outside very much. I did a little bit of it during my first Cabin Party, but there was very limited snow available at the time. I still think it's a good idea. :)

Getting spanked on the beach
Still curious.
I don't know where exactly I'd find a beach where I felt comfortable enough to do this, but the idea continues to tickle me. I think it could either be lots of fun or extremely relaxing, depending on how it was done. 

Getting spanked in my car
Semi-check.

Taken after Amoni spanked me in her car.

I've actually never been spanked in my personal car, although Amoni spanked me in the back of her car once. It was actually fairly comfortable, although obviously not the ideal set up. This scene was pretty light hearded, considering the fact that she's my friend and we were in the backseat of her car in front of her house in the middle of the woods at night. She handed me a hairbrush and said "think about what a naughty person you are." 
I've also been hit on my thigh while Malignus was driving basically every day that we've ever ridden in the same car, although that's not exactly the same thing. I plan on buying an actually new car (instead of just a "new to me" car) in the next year or so, and I'm sure that I'd be able to convince Malignus to spank me in it to celebrate its procurement. :D

Getting an extremely long spanking
Check!

Danny Creighton spanking me for a really long time at a Scarlet Moons party.

I've had two experiences which I think fall into this category, although there's certainly a lot more to explore here. I'll start by saying that I had received a couple of fairly long spankings before I made this post. One of these was probably my favorite spanking ever, where I fell into subspace for the first time and I really have no idea how long it lasted. Because of the spacing out, it never seemed extremely long, but in retrospect (and after talking to Malignus about it) I realize that it was somewhat epic. Another very long spanking was a hand spanking which YS gave me during the Cabin Party (a lot of noteworthy things happened during that party). That was really lovely indeed: he spanked me with his hand for at least 45 minutes, varying speed and intensity so that it was never "easy" but never overwhelming either. I just snuggled against him and felt very safe and cozy.

The most recent of my spankings of epic proportions took place at the Scarlet Moons party which I attended with Amoni in Denver. This was the first time I actually got to meet Danny Creighton (who, by the way, I am seeing and getting spanked by in less than 12 hours) and after Amoni and I hung out with him and Sophie for a while, we decided that the only right thing in the world would be for him to spank me. :) He did so quite thoroughly and for quite an extended period of time, making me positively blissed out despite the constant group of people coming and going. He mostly used his hand, but occasionally threw in swats with a wooden paddle, which really confused my brain because I was not paying very careful attention to what, exactly was going on behind me, just the fact that I felt lovely and relaxed. He finished the whole thing up quite a bit later with some belting, which was much more energizing than relaxing, but was done with a presence and tone that made me turn to putty inside. (Oh hey, I can't wait for tomorrow! This is like, Christmas Eve or something!)

Purchasing leather implements
Still curious.

Leather remains an area which I need to keep exploring. I've had scenes with leather implements which I've really enjoyed, and I know that if I had more leather choices in the implement bag I'd probably do more of it at home which would make me even more accustomed to the sensation. 

Cutting a switch
Mostly check.

I've been switched a couple of times, most notably in a treehouse with ellee by Robert Wolf. Switches are stingy and kind of mean, but there continues to be something interesting about them to me. I've never done the sort of scene where a girl is sent out to select and cut her own switch and bring it back to be spanked with, though, and I think that's something that I'd like to do. I like the idea of the ritualized experience there, and there's something sort of intriguingly uncomfortable about selecting it on my own.

That covers my original list. I've been thinking about adding some new items to this, although those would mostly be focused around people I'd like to be spanked by or particular fantasy scenes that I have kicking around in my head and the idea of sharing those is always a little embarrassing. 
Now goodnight, I need my beauty sleep so that I can get spanked tomorrow. :D