Life Update, Chelsea Pfieffer and Some Thoughts!

I guess I kind of lied when I said that I was back to my regular rate of posting. I'm still pulling three posts this week, but that's the minimum that I like to do. I don't enjoy accepting the minimum effort from myself, so I'll try and keep sticking with things, especially because I am not entirely sure if I'll be able to update while I'm on the road to South Dakota or not.

I'm stressed. I've still got a lot to do before I leave. Insecurities and fears have been popping up, surviving longer than I'd normally let them due to the climate of anxiety and vulnerability that comes with change. I'm not looking forward to saying "goodbye" to anyone, let alone everyone. Still, I'm overwhelmingly excited. I'm going to have a wonderful life with Malignus. We're going to have an amazing time on the trip out to my new life. I'll never have to listen to him tell me that he doesn't have any clean dishes or food in the house ever again! :D

Yesterday, I shot with Chelsea Pfieffer for the first time. She was amazingly nice and friendly. She's the kind of person you just want to hug. The shoot was very straight-forward: it was a "Chelsea Spanks" reality shoot. The part of modeling that I'm the least good at is acting like someone other than myself when I'm in a position which is very true to my inner self, so being able to just be me while shooting a video was amazingly refreshing. Chelsea and I intend to work together again in the future when I fly back to visit Los Angeles (and to work with other amazing LA people). I've yet to meet someone I dislike when working on a spanking shoot: everyone has been amazingly kind, friendly and enthusiastic. I'm really digging spanking modeling. I just can't get enough.

I'm amazed if there are any people who have not yet tired of self taken photos of my butt in the mirror besides me. I am totally in love with my own butt.

Chelsea spanked me for a half hour straight, which further proved to me that I have absolutely NO sense of time when I'm over a lap. It seemed like a few minutes! I know that I've had spankings that were confirmed to be very long by either knowing the time before and after or having another person around to let me know which had the same feeling: time just flew by because I was really happy to be where I was and I was doing the thing I adore. There have been other spankings, especially disciplinary ones, which seemed like they lasted for about an hour, but in reality were just a few minutes long. It's probably related to the fact that there is some kind of temporal anomaly in the corner of my bedroom: time just slooooooows down there. :P

Tangentially related to what I was talking about earlier (because my scene with Chelsea had an influence on this) I've decided that while I still think that I'm fairly hetero-aligned in terms of D/s, I am just as much of a pan-spanko bottom as I am a pan-sexual. When I was a child, my fantasies were always M/F. My first five years of spanking were exclusively M/F. Recently, I've been playing with girls and women as tops quite a bit, and it's just as enjoyable for me. An open mind is a lovely thing: when I was just focused on males as tops, I was losing a lot of awesome options. F/F is pretty epic win for me, too.

Tonight, I'm going to the Halloween party at Threshold. It's my last dungeon event before I leave LA. Even more bittersweetness. It's going to be a lot of fun, though: all my LA people will be there, except Morri, who is currently out of the country. I didn't even get to have a tearful goodbye! I miss you already, Morri!

Where Has Alex Been?! Part 2

When I woke up the morning after, my butt looked like this:

Excuse all the packing that is going on in the background.

On Saturday night, MaskofNormality, Princesstoy and I had dinner together at a Thai restaurant, where we were the only patrons and we talked quietly about kink things the entire time. We also had delicious coconut ice cream. Mmmmm! I already had my makeup on for my second costume, so it was a little strange to the waitress, I think.

From there, we went to the Bordello of Decadence: a play space in Rosemead. It was my first time there and I was really only going because it was a Halloween party and a lot of my friends were there. Pretty shortly upon arriving, I met up with my friend Porcelain Ass, who was dressed as a school girl. Princesstoy was dressed as a sailor girl and MaskofNormality was dressed as Max from "Where the Wild Things Are." His was pretty much my favorite halloween costume ever. He made it himself and it looked EXACTLY like I imagined Max's outfit would in real life. He even made fuzzy shoe covers. I couldn't stop hugging him because it was so cute. I was wearing a pink hamster suit. It was fleecy and warm, though, so halfway through the night I stripped down to my panties and tanktop and ran around like that.

[I might be adding a photo here. I am waiting for permission from my friend who is also in it.]

I didn't play at this party, but I did get to watch an awesome scene between MaskofNormality and Princesstoy. Princesstoy positively shrieks when she gets spanked hard! They were horror movie screams. MoN did an awesome job topping: he's usually a bottom, but he totally pwnd Princesstoy, all while wearing his fuzzy outfit :D Epic. Win.

I was still super sore from my spanking yesterday, especially on the areas that were covered which were previously under-spanked: Sir Siq was able to get different "territory" because he was standing on the other side of me while I was over Maddycake's lap. Sore bottom + fleecy pajama material = mmmmmmm. Positively cozy. The weather outside was cool and foggy and it made me look forward to this winter, when I can come in from the cold, get warmed up by a good spanking and then cuddle up in something warm.

I'd be lying if I said that BoD was a favorite playspace: it doesn't have any private rooms, and I don't think there are any places there where I would be able to get into a good headspace during a scene. It did, however, have a good layout for socializing and pretty nice snacks :). In all, it was certainly a nice play for a big party, but not somewhere that I would go with the intention of playing.

BoD is across the street from a graveyard, and as we were walking out the sky was a bit too light for the time of night it was, but the street was heavy with fog. It was perfect murder weather. That made the night even more Halloween-y.

On Sunday, Maddycake came over again and we did literally all the rest of my packing (except the things I'll need for the next 10 days) and had lots of snuggles. I'm going to miss all the people I've talked about in this entry way too much. On a side note, Monday and today have been a bit gloomy for me: part of it is the drop from having spent the weekend surrounded by all my favorite Los Angeles people. Part of it is the weather: it has stayed gray and rainy over here. Part of it is the fact that now that all my stuff is packed up, my apartment feels weird and sad. There's also the fact that I've been worrying about making friends and whether or not I'll be liked in my new community once I move to South Dakota. I spent most of my life being awkward and generally unpopular, so it's a hard worry to shake. I'll be with Malignus, and that fills me with glee and happiness, but I'm going to need some other friends, especially girls who want to squee over kitties and cute fuzzy stuff (when Malignus isn't around). I know a few people online and I've met a couple of people in person who seem pretty awesome, so hopefully things will work out for me in that department.

Finally, I'm shooting with Chelsea Pfieffer on Friday and Lily Starr again on the first of the month. Pretty exciting stuff!
I'm back to my regularly scheduled program, so expect posting to go back to its normal pace.
<3

Where Has Alex Been?! Part 1

It's been about five days since I last posted. That's unusual for me! I love blogging and aspire to do it every day, if I can. That said, I've been a busy, busy girl.

In case anyone hasn't heard me talking excitedly about it recently, I'm moving to South Dakota soon: in fact, I'm leaving Los Angeles in less than two weeks. There's an awful lot to do, getting ready to move halfway across the country, by car, to a different climate, after having lived in the same place for two years. My time has been pretty divided between productivity: packing, sorting, cleaning, organizing, preparing and enjoying the time that I have left with my friends out here. As I've said before, they're awesome people who I am going to miss a great deal, and I'm very glad that I'll be visiting them frequently.

Thursday was my last munch with the Pasadena Roses and Thorns. Their December 2010 munch was my first public kink event of all time, and I've really enjoyed all the relationships I've built there. It was a fun but bittersweet evening. Maybe I cried a little bit over it. Maybe. Everyone knows, Alex never cries. :P

This weekend, I got a lot of "to do's" crossed off my list, and I got to spend quality time with a lot of friends. This included some of the best kind of time: time spent across a lap.

On Friday night, I went to Fetnoir's "Procrasta-ween" party at Threshold with Maddy and her Daddy, Sir Siq. Sir Siq has become my unofficial protector within the local scene: I *can* take care of myself, but sometimes, having a 6'4" man behind me is a comforting thing, especially when I'm prancing around a dungeon in something skimpy and ridiculous like this:

The party was very small: there was a larger event going on at a different play-space that night. Still, the people in attendance were good people, and three can be a party of itself. We had some snacks and hung out a bit, because Sir Siq and I were basically going to die of hunger when we arrived. Then we went into a black light room and Maddycake and I danced around for a while. Sir Siq was dressed as a soldier and had two airsoft guns with him as part of his costume. Have you ever been shot with an airsoft gun before? I had, in passing, over a layer or two of clothes. Mostly, I'd only been grazed with them. Like most things, airsoft guns hurt a lot more when you get hit with them directly on your bare bottom.

Sir Siq drew a target on each side of Maddycake's butt and had her bend over a bench in the private room we were in. Then he shot her directly on the first target. Then she exploded.

Not literally, of course. She just freaked out, jumping up and shouting and hopping around. It took coaxing to get her back down for the other side (including promises that I believe have not yet been fulfilled) but he eventually took the second shot. I stood back and watched her freak out and complain of the extreme hurt. Have you ever heard of the term "morbid curiosity"? I've never understood the evolutionary purpose of such a thing. Anyway, I've got a bad case of that. "I tried this thing! It totally sucked!" my friends say and I say "OOOOH! WILL HE DO IT TO ME?!"

A few minutes later, I was the one with the targets on my bare bottom. Being shot with an airsoft gun is the strongest example of pain-lag that I've ever felt during a scene. I've read descriptions of people having a full second or two of lag behind the impact and full experience of pain from a caning, and while I agree that there's a secondary pain which is much worse than the primary in those cases, it's never taken all that long for me to experience it. With the airsoft gun, it took at least three seconds. I had long enough to stand up and look at Maddycake with one eyebrow raised, because I didn't feel anything really. Then all the sudden, pain appeared. It felt like a hard cane stroke, only instead of being a line of hurt, it was concentrated into a dot of agony. It developed into a little welt that looks a bit like a bug bite. Then, I got back in position and he shot me on the other side. The second of anything is at least twice as difficult to relax through, and I did a good effort at stoicism but totally squealed when I got hit this time: before it even started to hurt. I'm not about to do this all the time, obviously, but it was very cool to find out what it was like.

We went and watched a class on Mummification Play (it fit the Halloween theme!) which was interesting. I'm clearly not about to engage in it, but it is always interesting for me to learn the how and why of another kind of play so that I can better know what my fellow kinksters are experiencing.

After the class, the three of us went into my favorite room at Threshold (the one where Princesstoy topped me) so that Maddycake could spank me. She sat down on the bench and I went over her lap, which was very nice: I think the last time I had a thorough spanking while OTK was in September, during this scene, and I am pretty much addicted to that position. Maddycake was dressed as a fuzzy, pink kitten and I had my Pikachu backpack to hug (I avoided putting my face on it because I had makeup on and didn't want to mess him up) so it was a much more adorable spanking than I usually get. Maddycake also had on fuzzy, pink paws as part of her costume, and between volleys of spanks, she would rub my butt with the paw. Usually, I've been rather "whatever" about sensation play, but this was extremely nice. It's not something I'd want to incorporate into my regular play, but every once and again, it would be super enjoyable.

After Maddycake's arm got tired (she's not usually a top :P) Sir Siq took over while I was still over Maddycake's lap. He stood on the other side of the bench and spanked me with all the implements I had with me and did a very thorough job of it. I tend to talk about how I don't like playing with non-spanko purists, but he created an atmosphere which worked extremely well for me and he had great physical spanking skill. I had my blue, rubber "running track" paddle with me, and near the end, he focused on using that because it was making the strongest reaction. I wailed and shrieked (because in a dungeon you're allowed to be noisy!) and in the end, cried (while Maddycake was rubbing my back with the fuzzy paw). I didn't realize just how much I needed to be spanked to tears right then until I got there, but I was able to let a ton of stress go. When the spanking was finished, I lay in position and hadn't a care in the world: I just cuddled there feeling happy and content. Sir Siq put my Pikachu under my arm for me to cuddle and Maddycake rubbed me with the paw some more. It was lovely to feel so safe among my friends.

After a bit, I got up and checked out my butt, then we got photos:

Later, Sir Siq gave Maddycake a beating and I helped out: I worked on her butt a bit while he was cropping her on the back and later, I provided banter and under-bus-throwing. It was nice to watch them play, too: they have very good energy in a scene. Afterwards, Maddycake and I had the fun of having sore bottoms together and that's always a lot of fun. Maddycake and Sir Siq played together until the club was about to close, so once that was finished, it was time to get home and into bed. I had another big day coming up on Saturday... [to be continued, tomorrow!]