This blog contains adult material, including depictions and descriptions of nudity, consensual BDSM play and sexuality.
If you are a minor or are otherwise legally not permitted to view this content, or if you find this blog offensive for any other reason, you must click here to exit the page. Alex in Spankingland is vehemently opposed to the corporal punishment of children. Please click here for information on non-violent parenting.


I get asked a lot of questions, either in comments, in the "Ask" box on my Tumblr page, in my Fetlife inbox or in my email. While I welcome messages of any sort and I attempt to respond to every one I receive, I have decided to reintroduce the FAQ page to answer the questions that I get most frequently. If there's a question you think should be on this page and isn't, feel free to leave it in the comments section!

Spanking FAQ:

Q: Were you spanked as a child?
A: I was not spanked as a child. I received my first spanking when I was eighteen years old. This was done consensually and from the man who became my first Top: SF.

Q: Have you always been into spanking, or did that interest develop later in life?
A: I can't remember a time when I wasn't interested in or fascinated by spanking. My older brother reported that he saw me playing spanking games with my stuffed animals when I was still in a playpen.

Q: How often do you like to be spanked?
A: Pretty much every day, unless I'm not feeling well (either emotionally or physically). I don't necessarily like to be spanked HARD every day, but at least a moderate bedtime spanking keeps me in good spirits! I don't *require* spanking that often, though, and don't really begin to get antsy without it until a week or two has passed. Going without spankings is easier when I'm not around anyone who I'm usually spanked by! In actuality, it isn't uncommon for me to be spanked daily when Paul and I are together, although life does sometimes get in the way and prevent that from happening. Most days see me with at least a pinkened bottom, though, and it's a sign that all is right with the world!

Q: Do you switch?
A: I recently reached a point in my development where I've come to embrace switching with those who are interested in it. I've developed into a pretty good Top, if I must say so myself! I find it very satisfying to give someone a much desired red bottom, and I like playing in a variety of different ways. I am now offering sessions as a Top or switch as well.

Q: Is spanking sexual for you?
A: While once upon a time, I felt strongly that spanking was not sexual for me, I've developed to a point where it can be. It clearly isn't always: I only play this way with a handful of people (hint: the ones that I have sex with) but I'm not embarrassed to admit that I often find spanking extremely arousing. I've branched out to shoot some very erotic scenes, and my first book, The Doctor's Little Girl, is chock full of sexy business.

Q: Are you a little? Do you do ageplay?
A: Like sexuality, I once was adamant that I was not a little. While I don't think I fully fit that description, I have come to identify with the word "middle," often playing as a high school aged girl. I like the vulnerability that comes with not feeling adult responsibilities for a while, but I'm able to maintain the parts of my maturity that make me feel sufficiently in control. I often enjoy roleplaying as a younger character. My desire to play at being younger while actually being of age by no means suggests that I support spanking children: I firmly believe that this is never appropriate.

Q: What are your favorite kinds of scenes?
A: I love play punishment and roleplay scenarios, especially austere, institutional discipline, scenes with  darker, meaner, non-consensual themes or really off-the-wall, fun and lighthearted set-ups (so, quite a variety!) I also love (and to some degree, require) reaffirmative scenes, in which Dominance is greatly enacted and my role as submissive is reinforced, often through me being severely spanked simply because my partner chooses to. I love affectionate, loving, connecting scenes with people that I care about. As much as I don't enjoy it at the time, I also crave real, harsh, sternly delivered discipline.

Q: Do you get spanking as a punishment? How does that work if you enjoy spanking so much?
A: I do receive disciplinary spankings. Even though I love to be spanked, punishment spankings are definitely not fun because of the atmosphere in which they are conducted. I hate letting Paul down, but I also need to be reassured that if I mess up, he'll be there to correct me. Being punished reminds me to behave better in the future and makes me feel less guilty about my mistakes, removing the feedback loop that I can get stuck in where I feel bad about myself for messing something up and set myself up to fail again by not having the proper confidence to try again.

Q: Do you prefer to be spanked by men or women?
A: My natural preference is to be spanked by men. I later came to also enjoy being spanked by other women. There are a few women who I particularly enjoy being spanked by. Topping that list is Dana Kane, followed by my very beloved Pandora Blake!

Q: Does your family of origin know what you do for a living?
A: My family and I do not talk directly about any of this, although certain family members know different amounts of information about it. I just tell them that I make my primary income from writing and that I work part time in the field that I used to work in before I became a fetish model.

Q: What's your favorite spanking position?
A: OTK all the way! I like to feel like I'm being held while I'm being spanked, and it's also physically comfortable for me. I also like the austerity of bending over to touch one's toes, but struggle with the actuality of this position.

Q: What's your favorite implement?
A: Most of the time, probably a good, old fashioned hairbrush. The way in which they hurt is a good way to push me to the place that I want to go from a more severe scene, and the domestic feeling fits with my core fantasies. In terms of implements that actually feel nice, I can enjoy a certain kind of caning, and I like some leather paddles and thuddier wooden paddles. I have a strong love/hate relationship with most caning: I find everything about caning scenes incredibly hot, but the cane hurts so much (but in a good way! But it's scary! But I like it!) Even more so, I am terrified of the tawse, but in a good way. In my mind, it is the most formidable implement, and a sanction reserved for the naughtiest of girls.

Vanilla FAQ

Q: How old are you?
A: I'm currently 27. My birthday is July 6th. You're welcome to help me celebrate with presents!

Q: Where are you from originally?
A: I was born in Upstate New York but raised primarily in New Jersey. I still have family in both states and visit them fairly regularly.

Q: Why were you living in South Dakota?
A: I moved to South Dakota to be with my ex-boyfriend/Dominant, Malignus. I remained there for several months after the relationship ended but, despite making some wonderful friendships there, did not find South Dakota to be a fulfilling place to live and work. I'm much more well suited to my current location in Los Angeles, especially with my night-owl nature, penchant for Japanese culture and food, fondness of independent cinema and love of being warm!

Q: What's your educational background?
A: I received a Bachelor's of Fine Arts with honors from a Historical Woman's College in 2009. I did not graduate high school and instead entered University when I was seventeen.

Q: What are some of your favorite things?
  • Favorite film director: Terrance Malick
  • Favorite band: The Mountain Goats
  • Favorite animal: Bears
  • Favorite food: Japanese style curry
  • Favorite video game: Metal Gear Solid III
  • Favorite poet: Marie Howe
  • Favorite fiction author: Kurt Vonnegut
  • Favorite philosopher: Foucault
  • Favorite car: Pontiac Trans-Am
  • Favorite comic series: The X-Men
  • Favorite person: Paul Kennedy ^_^
Q: What other hobbies do you have, besides getting spanked, writing and modeling?
A: I like walking a lot (which sounds fairly lame, but it's the truth!), I collect uniforms (especially school uniforms), costumes, panties and vintage clothing, I bake and cook, I collect and style Blythe dolls, I dress in Japanese Lolita fashion, I watch and critique films, I draw and color (with about the skill level of a ten year old, I think, but I do it for funsies), I play Pokemon Red or Blue on gameboy, I read about pandas on the internet, I go to theme parks, I cause mischief and I play Mario Kart: Double Dash extremely competitively. I volunteer at a local animal shelter once a month as part of the One Picture Saves a Life project.  I am trying to get back into the habit of reading regularly, as I really haven't been doing much recently. I'd like to be into gardening, but so far, every attempt I've made at that has failed very sadly. All my plants die pretty regularly and this makes me sad. Sometimes, I sew or do crafts. 

Q: Do you have any pets?
A: I have two cats. One is a pale, sort of creamsicle colored ginger and white cat who we call "The Punk". The other is a defective (that is to say, not show quality) Ultra-Persian with a smushed looking face and fluffy gray coat who we call "The Baby Monster".  Baby Monster is one of the sweetest things on four paws, and he responds to being called by name by coming over and getting cuddled. The Punk is a lovable but naughty cat, always trying to escape, scratching the sofa when he thinks we're not looking, meowing excessively for attention and picking on Baby Monster.  Both cats are rescues. I had two guinea piggies while living in South Dakota, but unfortunately I could not move them with me and Malignus didn't want to keep them when I left the state, so they were rehomed. 

Blogging FAQ

Q: How long have you been blogging?
A: Since September, 2011.

Q: Will you trade links with me?
A: Sure! As long as your site is somehow spanking, D/s, DD or kink related and doesn't contain content that I find unsavory (such as a focus on non-consensual spanking). Just email me or leave a comment with your link and I'll check it out and add you.

Q: Will you feature me on your blog?
A: That depends on a lot of things. Send me an email explaining who you are and what you want to have featured. If it's something I genuinely like and feel the people who read my blog would like, then I totally will!

Q: Can I write about/link to you/reblog your posts/include your photos on my blog or site?
A: Absolutely! Just please credit me and link back to me.

Q: Will you write something for my site or be a guest blogger?
A: Probably. Send me a message explaining what you'd like and I will see if it's something that sounds like a good fit for me.

Q: Will you test/review my spanking related products or content?
A: I'd love to. I write about things that I find on my own and enjoy, but if you are interested in sending me something (either digitally to view and write about or via postal mail) please contact me about it.

Q: Could you write a post about [this thing I want to know about]?
A: That depends on what it is. Email me about it and I might consider it.

Q: will u post moar photoz off ur b00bz?
A: No.