Contribute to a Caning!

In December, a law came into effect in the UK which made the production of spanking videos, along with a variety of other kinds of porn, illegal. There was a lot of public outcry at the time, and spankos from all over the world offered their emotional support to the UK based producers. People signed petitions. People went to protests.

Then, eventually, things slowed down and, as a community, we generally stopped talking about this. That's what happens with all political issues: very rarely do we stop actively talking about them because something gets fixed. We stop talking about them because we've run out of momentum, or things to say, or ideas of how to get things fixed. Continuing to talk about it, then, makes us feel hopeless. A much worse a reason why we stop talking about things is because we get used to them. We accept that this is simply the way things are. We stop thinking about it.

Unless, of course, you can't stop thinking about it because it directly affects you. For the average spanko, the law change made us angry or uncomfortable. But for UK based spanking and fetish producers, it changed everything. I don't know all the producers, and not all of them share what's going on in their lives online, but here's a recap of the information that I have right now (if you have more information than I do, please feel free to chime in in the comments section!):

• My partner, Paul Kennedy, who founded Northern Spanking, now legally doesn't own any of it: I do. All aspects of the business have been transferred to my name, and our servers have been moved to the US. Despite these changes, the site continues to operate as normal. I've been getting more involved in production over the past year or so, anyway, so that hasn't been a change. It's heart breaking to me that Paul can't own the site that he's been nurturing since I was just a high school girl, but I'm happy that our situation has created a safe and stable way to preserve the site and keep Paul from being at risk of going to jail. It has always been our intention for Paul to relocate to the US since we started dating, and doing that provides an extra level of security, since we don't know yet how far reaching the long arm of the law is on this issue. 
• John Osborne, who created Triple A Spanking and POV Spanking, has come up with a similar arrangement with his US based partner, Sarah Gregory. His sites are now owned and operated in the US.  John received an email from ATVOD warning him that his content is now against the law, but as far as I know, no action was taken due to the relocation of the site to the US. 
• Michael Stamp, who founded Bars and Stripes has stopped producing content and has sold his site. Bars and Stripes is now owned by the family of sites that does Spanked in Uniform and Real Life Spankings, which is based in Holland and therefore not subject to the ATVOD regulations. 
• Sarah Bright and Mr. Stern of Spanking Sarah, English Spankers and other similar sites announced on a blog that they intend to move themselves and their production company to Spain, relocating their entire family to avoid prosecution. 
• Hywel Philips of Restrained Elegance has his company based in the US, but is remaining in the UK and taking the side of resistance. 
• Pandora Blake, creator of Dreams of Spanking is keeping her site a UK based company and production studio, and Pandora is focusing on activism against the censorship, along with...
• Nimue Allen, owner of Nimue's World, who is also keeping her company and site in the UK and doing extremely important activist work. 

There are other producers in the UK, but I don't have any updates on how they're dealing with this issue. If you know any, please add them in the comment section!

Nimue and Pandora announced a little while ago that they're doing a fundraiser for Backlash UK, an organization that, among other things, provides legal aid for producers affected by the new ATVOD law. The fundraiser started off with a goal of 500 Pounds. For each ten pound donation, one of the two would receive one cane stroke, with a maximum of 50 strokes being received per girl. When the fundraising reached 1000 pounds, the maximum amount of strokes set to be received, Rosie Bottomley stepped up to take the next 50 strokes. When THAT goal was surpassed, Amelia Jane Rutherford agreed to take an additional 25 strokes. This goal has also been passed now. 

So who do the additional cane strokes fall to? Well, they fall to me, of course. 

I had the rare chance to have a skype chat with Pandora this afternoon. Because we're both always keeping busy (her especially!) and we're 8 hours of timezones apart, we almost never get a chance to make our schedules line up, so it was wonderful that we did. When we talked today, she told me everything that was going on with the fundraiser and explained that they had raised more funds than they had models to take the cane strokes, I was both overjoyed with their success and happy to help out. I'm an American, but this law has changed my life, too, and technically speaking, I'm a producer of a traditionally UK based site now. Besides, British spanking pornography means an awful lot to me. I was happy to put my butt on the line, quite literally!

So, everyone, click here to donate to Pandora's fundraiser! You can donate no matter where you are located in the world. Ten pounds is about fifteen US dollars, and each 15 dollar donation adds a cane stroke for me! The caning will be filmed after Paul returns to the US, and the video including Pandora, Nimue, Rosie, Amelia and I all getting caned (although not at the same time and place) will be made available to everyone for free! Really, who DOESN'T want to see me get fifty cane strokes for a good cause? That's an awful lot! So, please donate! 

When you think about it, your donation doesn't just ensure that I'll be getting an additional cane stroke: it helps to provide countless more cane strokes in the future by helping to make sure that British spanking pornography is able to continue on in the world. More writing on this topic coming tomorrow, but I was kind of wrestling with blogger for a couple of days, so I got behind on my posting and now that I'm participating in this fund raiser, I want to get the word out before it's too late! 

Censorship in the UK, Pornographers in Exile

So, let's talk about the new ATVOD law that came into effect in the UK on Monday. I'd guess that many of you have already heard a lot about it, and if you read Pandora Blake's blog you've already read much more cogent and significant writing than what I'm about to present here, but I long ago came to the conclusion that there's no reason not to talk about something just because others have already done an excellent job of it. Besides, this issue needs all the media attention it can get, and I'm still seeing misinformation about the situation being passed around on social media.

People on twitter and Fetlife have been talking about the UK's "spanking ban" or "porn ban." These terms aren't actually very accurate. The ATVOD law is a piece of legislature which limits what sorts of sexual activities can be presented in "video on demand", a category which includes basically all forms of internet pornography: streaming and downloads on membership sites and pay-per-download videos hosted on sites like clips4sale and even content which is given out for free.

The law has been talked about a lot in the spanking community because it directly affects us: one of the things prohibited by the law is the infliction of any kind of pain inducing activity which is beyond "transient and trifling" and which leaves any mark on the body beyond slight reddening of the skin (welts, bruises... basically marks). This sums up most of the spanking content produced anywhere in the world. But the term "spanking ban" isn't really the right one to use for two reasons. First of all, someone unaware of the situation reading that might come to the erroneous conclusion that spanking itself has been banned in the UK. It has not. That's actually one of the things which is upsetting about the law: things which are perfectly legal to perform are illegal to film and distribute. The second reason is because while the prohibition of spanking in pornography is the part that will most directly affect most of us, the list of acts that are classified as "extreme pornography" is long and it includes a lot of things that are problematic. The term "porn ban" is also not entirely correct. Not all porn has been made illegal. Only a lot of the interesting stuff.

Spanking producers anywhere in the world have been dealing with a certain form of censorship for as long as internet spanking porn has existed. What we can and can't show on film has been previously decided for us not by our governments, but by the companies that we use to process credit cards. CCBill, Clips4Sale and other companies that producers use to receive payment used to be the primary people who set the rules for what could and couldn't be offered online.

Their rules restrict a lot of kinks, but are actually, by comparison, fairly permissive towards spanking porn: they prohibit showing any blood for any reason, limit what kind of ageplay scenarios can be presented, get fussy about words signifying blood relationships ("father," "mother," "brother," "sister" et cetera) and force us to be careful about what words we use to talk about force and consensual non consent. They can also prohibit what is and isn't too extreme in terms of marking, but it usually doesn't come up.

Except, of course, for the time that it did. In 2013, CCBill forced Pandora Blake to remove a handful of scenes from Dreams of Spanking and to make changes to all the language used on the site, getting rid of words like "little girl" and "forced." She had to comply or lose her ability to make money from her site, but she wasn't being pushed into this by the law. She responded by making the content available for free on Darker Dreams.

Now that censorship is being enforced by the government and not just by corporations, this sort of work around isn't possible anymore: like I mentioned before, UK producers can't even give the content away for free. In addition to that, because making this content is illegal it doesn't just mean that breaking the laws will result in your site being taken down (which in and of itself is disastrous for a producer, since for almost everyone I know producing spanking videos their site is their full time job and primary source of income) but in actual legal action being taken against the producers. As far as I understand the law (and feel free to correct me if I don't have a proper understanding of it) someone could actually, hypothetically go to jail for making illegal, "extreme" pornography.

Looking at the law directly doesn't tell you exactly what is and isn't permitted in an easy to find manner because the law works by classifying internet pornography under the standards of censorship which had previously only applied to films released in cinema or on DVD: this is the reason why most UK spanking producers either don't offer DVDs or sell them semi secretly. I referred to this blog post, which carefully breaks down what material is and isn't permitted. The list is seriously problematic:

Peeing and female ejaculation are lumped together into one category, with the same rules applying to urine and to female ejaculatory fluid. This just shows a lack of sex education on the part of the people responsible for this legislature, because these two things are entirely different. Both are still permitted as long as they aren't done onto another person, or then consumed. Squirting during sex is alright if it is "brief" and "isolated."

This is an enormous problem because squirting isn't even something that you set out to do, necessarily. It's part of some women's physiological response to sexual stimulus. This is a rule that will only affect female-centric porn that features female performers genuinely enjoying themselves (I don't know anyone who can fake squirt, personally). You can have a brief squirt here and there, but can't intentionally do it on anyone. And peeing, which is a widely popular fetish, can only be done in isolation from other people. This affects some spanking videos. There's a cross over between the wetting fetish and the spanking fetish, specifically for girls wetting themselves while being spanked. It's something people are very divided on, but I personally think this is totally hot. The scenes where one wets oneself while over a lap being spanked are doubly prohibited.

There isn't actually a health risk associated with any of this behavior, either, even if we're talking about drinking pee. Although some people may find it gross (it's not my thing, personally) it isn't any more likely to spread disease than lots of other things that we are totally allowed to do in porn (like kissing or having sex). You can't ban something because you think it's gross.

Of course, any consumption of male ejaculation is entirely fine. I don't even understand how this makes sense. I feel that it's blatantly sexist, and is implying that male centric, heteronormative porn is acceptable and that female centric porn is "extreme" and therefore deserving of censorship. On a related note, facesitting has been forbidden. This is apparently because if you try this on your own at home, you might die by having the airway blocked.

Interestingly, throat fucking, which also can be potentially dangerous in terms of blocking the airway, is entirely acceptable. The act which shows male pleasure is allowed, but the one which shows female pleasure is banned. You however, aren't allowed to tell someone to "gag on your cock" because it refers to blocking the airway, whether you are doing it or not. Gags in general, especially when associated with bondage are prohibited. Bondage as a whole is mostly against the law, especially when it isn't explicitly part of a roleplay scenario. I get the impression that behind the scenes material and context building items like interviews and performer blog posts don't count for demonstrating consent here, just explicitly defining it on camera, which makes fantasy based bondage scenes illegal.

Fisting has been entirely forbidden. You cannot insert five fingers past the first knuckle into someone's body. Again, this is a popular feature in female centric porn, and there's no evidence that it's actually medically dangerous.

There are quite a few other things on the list, but this blog post will be infinitely long if I talk about all of them, so let me come to the most relevant: BDSM pain play is only permissible if it is "transient and trifling." Like I said before, this means no marks and less visible severity of any kind. I don't just mean spanking, I mean any kind of kinky shit that hurts someone.

The supposed reason for this and for most of the other regulations is someone might try to replicate this at home and cause harm or death. This is a strange argument. For one thing, you can watch depictions of lots of things that you really shouldn't try to do yourself, like almost everything in every movie and TV show ever. For some reason, they seem to believe that the general public can grasp the idea that you shouldn't replicate the things that you see in a standard film, but that people will do dangerous and harmful things if they replicate that which is presented in pornography. I feel that if this was the real concern, it should just suffice to add a little caption on the bottom of the screen that reads "professional fuckers on a closed set, do not try this at home."

In a certain way, by saying this, the British government is making all pornographers de facto sex educators. If they truly believe that people will replicate what they see in porn, shouldn't they be celebrating sex positive porn, female centric porn and consensual, safe kink porn? Instead, these are the sites that they are criminalizing. Porn which shows a man with a perfect dick fucking a girl with a perfect body in a scene where he never attempts to please her, she moans in a way which is obviously fake and he then pulls out and ejaculates all over her face is basically protected under this law. Nothing about this scene is "extreme."

If porn is meant to be a guide to sexual practices, then these videos are shoving body negativity and sexism down our throats in a way that the damage, while not physical, would be far beyond transient and trifling. The sites that focus on the pleasure of people of all genders, on discovering who you are and loving it, on not being ashamed of your sexuality even if you've been taught that it's wrong by society are the ones that are being targeted by these restrictions.

Spanking porn is actually a very positive thing. It's primarily made by a tight knit group of people who keep each other safe and who are passionate enough about sharing and celebrating their kink that they're willing to dedicate their lives to it. The spanking community (both online and at parties) allows us to interact with performers and know that they truly enjoy what they do. You're currently sitting wherever you are reading my blog about how I love what I do and how it fills my life with happiness and satisfaction in a way that no other profession could for me.

While there are certainly models who aren't interested in spanking and just do a few shoots here and there for the money, they're looked after, too, and the play is scaled to their tolerances. Limits are discussed. Safewords are in place. The play which is presented in spanking shoots is actually very safe: realistically, trying to replicate what you see in a film is likely not actually going to hurt someone because the majority of the Tops in spanking films are very skilled and watching them carefully can actually teach good technique. Of course we roleplay non-consensual scenarios, but I feel that this is the part which is inherently understood by the viewer. And if it isn't, should we just be responsible for providing more context building materials outside of the actual scene instead of having the entire thing banned?


 I'm not saying that the spanking industry is perfect. I have had bad experiences (one notable one) and so have other models that I know. But in general, it's a healthy, positive community, and with the current louder voices in the scene emphasizing acceptance, safe play, negotiation, consent et cetera, it could only get even better. Unless, of course, you ban the entire thing.

I think it's telling that when I get into arguments with people online in which I try to defend my experience as a spanking model as having been positive and explain that producing and participating in porn can be a really great experience for everyone involved, the response that I usually get is that it's so nice for me that in my niche things are in such good shape, but that "real" porn is full of consent violations and ignored limits (I have absolutely no experience with mainstream B/G porn and I'm not agreeing with or supporting this statement, just repeating what was said to me on the internet). It's funny that what I do isn't even considered "real" porn by many, yet to the British government, it's not just real, it's "extreme."

So, what's the state of affairs for the UK based spanking producers? They're faced with the calling to either relocate their studios, close up shop or fight back and do whatever they can. As far as I have been able to tell, none of the British spanking sites are going to stop production.

Paul told me about this law a couple of weeks ago, and was obviously extremely distressed about it. He asked me if I would be willing to take over legal ownership of Northern Spanking, making it a US based website instead of a UK one. In order to do this, Paul had to, on a legal level, give me every aspect of his company. Technically, I own it, and he now doesn't have any source of income: that's all, on paper, mine. Since, despite what you may have heard, I'm not a terrible person, I'm not going to really let this change anything. Everything about Northern will remain the same, until the site's new design which has been in process for a while now is launched, that is. (I'm not going to run in and put stickers on everything.)

The process of transferring ownership to me was complicated, tedious, stressful and expensive, but it means that Northern is no longer at risk and that, most importantly, no one is going to arrest Paul. Doing this made me sad, though. It was bitter that Paul can't own the thing that he has spent the better portion of my lifetime nurturing, and which he dedicates so much time, love, energy to. I know that he's angry at the government for taking that away from him, and rightfully so. I wish I could be with him right now to offer him some comfort.

I learned that John Osborne who runs Triple A Spanking has done something similar: he announced on his blog that transferred ownership of his site to his US based partner, Sarah Gregory in what I can only assume is a similar arrangement. Not everyone has the privilege of having a trusted loved one in another country to whom they can transfer ownership of their site, however. When I was first asked for my thoughts on this on tumblr, a commenter asked why producers don't just move to another country.

Moving yourself to another country is incredibly difficult. It means uprooting your entire life, putting a huge distance between you and your loved ones, leaving your home, selling or getting rid of most of your possessions because they're too expensive and difficult to ship, selling your car or paying expensive fees to ship it, rehoming your pets or putting them through quarantine, going through a complicated legal process to get residency which is never easy and in fact can severely limit who can immigrate where and, if you're leaving England, potentially giving up your right to free Health Care. I know all this because this is what Paul is going through right now.

When I first responded to that inquiry, I said that I didn't think anyone would do that. It bothered me that people so callously threw this idea around online like it was the simplest thing in the world. "What? The law is infringing on your freedom and making it illegal for you to continue to earn your living? Just leave your entire life behind and start living somewhere else!" Moving to another country is a serious commitment, and I, wishfully, didn't think that this was a situation so dire that it would cause people to have to do that.

I was not correct, as Sarah Bright of Spanking Sarah and English Spankers (among other sites) announced that she and her partner, Mr. Stern will be relocating their family to Spain to avoid persecution, a piece of news that solidified the seriousness of this situation for me. I simultaneously think it isn't fair for people to suggest that producers should simply move away and feel that it's perfectly understandable to want to live your life, especially a family life (as Sarah describes in her post) away from this stressful situation.

Pandora Blake has declared that she's staying put, and she's staying very on top of things, giving us information on how to file a complaint against the ATVOD and encouraging people to join her at a protest against the policies next week. Dreams of Spanking will continue to operate in the UK.

 Nimue Allen of Nimue's World  has posted about the issue as well, and, as far as I can tell, intends to stand her ground and continue to operate her site from England. Hywel Phillips of Restrained Elegance, explained in a blog post that his studios are already legally based in the US and that he isn't sure how the censorship will affect him, but that he doesn't want to have to leave his home country. I don't know what several other producers plan to do or not do, but it's vital that all of them have our support.

What can you do?

If you live in the UK you can write to your MP protesting the censorship.
No matter where you live, you can sign this petition.
If you live in the UK you can also sign this one, and, most importantly, the official petition.
Donate to Backlash UK, a sexual liberties lobby group which has set up a legal fund to assist producers if they are targeted, and who is campaigning against the policy.
If you're local to London or able to travel there, attend a protest outside of Parliament.
Consider getting a month's membership to one of the sites affected by the censorship.

Please remember:
If you live in the UK, it is NOT illegal for you to join spanking sites, purchase spanking content or posses this content. As a consumer, you are not at risk: only producers are.

I don't even feel up to leaving the sign-off heart on this post. There's nothing that I heart about this.

CCM: Thursday, part 1

On Thursday, I woke up as late as I could get away with, since I had fallen asleep around six thirty or something in the morning. I wasn't thrilled to be going into a party on that little sleep, but it was sort of inevitable and there was nothing I could do about it.

The day started out with Paul and I filming with Sarah Gregory for Northern Spanking-- you can read his notes on the shoot here. Paul started working out ideas for scenarios weeks ago, and it was kind of fascinating to see his process. Because we were filming in the hotel, Paul created a set of scenarios which made sense for us to be in such a setting instead of trying to pretend that we were somewhere else and this lead to some rather creative thinking on his part. I was a little nervous about filming because it was my first time ever being on camera for some of the scenes and it was my first time actually filming with Sarah! We've known each other for a while, and we roomed together and I shot a scene for her site while we were at TASSP, so we were comfortable around each other, but we had never actually done any films together until this day.

From my shoot for Sarah's site back in June

Filming with Sarah went quickly and smoothly, since she (obviously!) knows what she's doing. Two of the scenes we shot included her bottoming, which she only does rarely these days, so that was kind of special. The first scene involved Paul playing a seedy private detective and Sarah being a cheating wife who he catches at her meeting place. This was the first time that I got to watch Paul spanking another girl for a film in real life: every time we'd filmed together previously, I was the only one getting spanked. I enjoyed getting to watch this scene, even if through the camera, especially because Paul's character was a bit wicked and I've always enjoyed those sorts of scenes. :D Sarah looked great, too, in her sexy lingerie (but then again, she always looks great!)

The second scene involved me getting spanked by Sarah and is the first film that the two of us have done together. We'd played during group roleplay events before, but never on camera. Sarah is a great top and is easy to roleplay with, and the spanking that she gave me was delightful. Additionally, this was the first time in my entire life that I wore heels with jeans, and I think I like the look! I'd never done it before because I avoided heels except for the most specialist of occasions since I used to have height related self esteem issues, but those don't bother me anymore so I've been enjoying experiments like this. :D In the film, I play a sneaky, snarky writer who gets caught in a hotel I've written poor reviews of many times by an irate manager, played by Sarah. I consider scenes where I'm unabashedly not repentant for me behavior a challenging area for me, but I think I'm getting better at it. When I need clever snark, I ask myself what Erica Scott would say. When I need to be bratty and awful, I borrow a page from The Bad Alex's daily life. I think that the film ended up being great: funny and full of delightful girl/girl spanking action. ^_^

Scene number the third was between Sarah and Paul again, with Sarah playing a second-rate erotic author and Paul playing her irate publisher. This scene ended up being particularly funny, and I had to keep my composure behind the camera and not giggle at their antics (which I did manage to do, thankfully!) Sarah looks lovely in jeans, I have to say. :P

The final scene was between Paul and I, and it was actually the first time that we'd played on camera since the end of March, so that was pretty exciting. This was our original type of interaction, and it was nice to return to it, now bringing the massive chemistry that comes when two people know each other as intimately as we now do. It was also the first time that we did a film in which we played a couple since we actually became one, so that was a bit sweet. Paul was vague about the description of this film's content in his post so I suppose that I had better be, too, but it's a cute story with a delightful caning in it which was hard enough that when it was finished, Sarah marveled at my composure.

I helped pick out some of the images that Paul put up on the forum when he wrote about this shoot, and this was one of the ones that I chose. I like it for the normal reasons: I look scared and vulnerable, Paul looks determined and threatening et cetera, but also because of his shadow on the curtain. I like imagining that we're on a ground floor and a passerby might see this silhouette from outside and perhaps stop to watch the shadow-puppet version of my thrashing. How deliciously voyeuristic!

When we had finished shooting, I had to run off pretty much right away because I had an appointment in Detention! Joe (Drlectr) and Mama Blue were running a series of short "Principal's office" detention scenarios and I was scheduled for shortly after the filming finished. Joe and I have played hundreds of times, and he's one of the people with whom I've played the most intimately and emotionally intensely, but we've never really done any roleplay scenarios. I know that he's fond of school style paddling scenes, and I love any kind of roleplay which is highly formalized, so I figured the scene was going to be good. I take great delight in the embarrassment of having someone else watching me be punished, like Vice Principal Blue!

I was already in my uniform so I ran up to Joe and Ten's room to wait outside the doorway. They were talking to someone in the room, so I had to wait outside.

Waiting in this hallway, knowing that in a minute, I was about to be paddled and that it would be quite severe was something directly from my fantasy life. Everyone on the floor was at the Crimson Moon party, which meant that everyone who passed and saw me stood outside Joe's room in my uniform knew that I was waiting for my detention. This also meant that they weren't judging me, but that didn't remove the squirmy feeling in my tummy every time someone walked by. Finally, Joe, now Principal Lectr, opened the door and called me in.

A lot of my roleplay characters are helpless and innocent, but that was certainly not the case today. The scene that Joe and I had written involved me being in trouble for attempting to seduce my male teachers, and I was full of confidence and eroticism, flirting with Principal Lectr even as he lectured me on my wicked ways. "You seem to think this is alright!" Vice Principal Blue said in dismay. "You're going to have to start seeing the school counselor once a week!"

"Will it be a male counselor?" I asked with a flirtatious grin. The authority figures had had enough of me, so I was bent over the desk for eight paddle swats, which were delivered firmly and on the bare. The paddling wasn't much of a sanction for me, though, and I kept up my act, hoping for a little extra attention. I got just that, in the form of a hard, OTK spanking after the paddling. When the scene was over, Mama Blue took off and Joe and I got to enjoy some time together. Joe is wonderful. I'm so lucky to have him in my life.

After this, Joe walked me back to my room and we told Paul about our roleplay. Then Paul and I took a little time to regroup before heading down for dinner. We hadn't had much lunch, so we mostly used this as a time to socialize and see who was at the party already before heading out to get a bite and some drinks nearby. During dinner, Naughty Freckles asked me if I'd be willing to be a rope-bunny for the "Fit to be Tied and Spanked" demo later that night, which I gladly accepted. Bondage can be a lot of fun, and I do get a little thrill out of performing in front of a group. Between dinner and the demo, Paul and I ran to the store (without me ever bothering to change out of my school uniform!) and then got back in time to be able to socialize a bit before I needed to start. Paul finally got to meet LLB, who is very dear to my heart, and a handful of my other friends.

Then it was time for the demo! Kinkmedic, from 12:11 Kink taught some basic ties and showed how they can be used for spanking. This included tying me up, including in a bent over position where he then balanced a cup of Mountain Dew on my back while I tried very hard to stay still. Afterwards, they passed out rope and people practiced the ties and I allowed people to practice on me, too. It was a lot of fun, and the ties were effective, easy and comfortable. "A+ would be tied up by again!"rating!

After the demo, we snuck out and ate dinner, then ran into about 15 of my favorite people who were entering the restaurant as we were leaving. We headed upstairs, where I probably got changed again and we went to Joe and Ten's suite. There were only a few people hanging out in there, since most everyone else had gone to dinner, but I had a good time talking to everyone, including the person behind Spanking Resource (I don't know if he uses a particular name online or not!) and a few others.
At one point I did something out of line and needed to be spanked (gasp!) so Paul selected one of Big Bubba's Bible Belts and applied it to me. Big Bubba is a friend of mine who does leatherworking, and his belts with "Bible" stamped on them are a perennial favorite. It started out as just a pun, but the belts are fairly lightweight, delightfully pliable and capable of being used across intensities. This instance of the implement belongs to Joe, and it's obvious that he's spanked about 108 girls with it because it was delightfully well broken in and clearly an implement "of joy!" It was stingy in a light and delicious way... dare I say it was even "sensual." I didn't want the spanking to stop, ever! I made Paul promise that we'd buy one for ourselves at the vendor's fair.

The next thing that I wrote in my notes is "Bad Alex is Bad." I have no idea what particular incident this refers to, because that's kind of like writing notes on a day out hiking and saying "The sky is blue." A while before the party, Bad Alex and I were arguing back and forth and I called her some kind of awful insult, as we tend to do to each other. Instead of just responding with one of her signature, creative insults ("your breath smells like Bigfoot's dick") Bad Alex decided to write a long and carefully worded email to Paul, explaining how I had wronged her and how she wanted to keep my "good girl status intact" by telling on me "for my own good." I'm sure she said "I'm just a little girl" somewhere in there, too. Of course I ended up getting caned, because there's no fairness anywhere in the Universe when Bad Alex is involved (remember, I once got 14 strokes of the cane because she punched me in the knee!)
At CCM, she continued this masquerade of being a good girl who is unfairly accused by me by being sweet and polite whenever Paul was around and then turning around and insulting or slapping me when he wasn't looking. He always seemed to be looking when I retaliated, though, and I was soon jumping up and down at the unfairness of it all. I had high hopes of seeing Alex properly punished sometime this weekend, though, and my best bet was at Spanking Court on Saturday night. Bad Alex claimed she had a foolproof defense, but I wasn't so sure. As soon as the box was out in the main room, I filed a class-action case against her as "The Good Alex representing the people of CCM vs. Bad Alex for harassment."

This seems like a good stopping point for this post. I suspect that CCM will be broken up into about 5 or 6 posts total, since I took notes and everything. Please stay tuned! ♥

The Camden Pancake Incident, More Filming and Alex Buys Too Much Stuff

After having finished the two very exciting shoots that I wrote about in my last couple of posts, I spent a few more days with Pandora. The time that we spent just hanging out was always fun and enjoyable. We did sessions and had fun together. A huge portion of this involved me picking up her cat and not putting her down when she wanted me to. :P Eventually, though, Pandora needed to get back to the rest of her life, and I was meant to go visit S_F at this point. Unfortunately, his situation horrible personal situation had not improved, and he was unable to come get me or host me at his house. I actually didn't end up seeing him at all, the entire time I was in England. Instead, Paul Kennedy and Lucy McLean were kind enough to agree to host me for the rest of the time that I was there. This ended up being basically the best thing ever.

Paul came to pick me up from Pandora's, and we all had some tea and cake (although just regular cake, not Cake of Ultimate Joy™) before I had to say goodbye to her. I knew I wasn't going to see her until BBW, which was about a month away, and this was sad for me, because I knew I was going to miss her. I hugged her a lot, and I harassed her cat as much as I could before I had to leave. As disappointing as it was to have to leave Pandora, I was excited that I was going to get to spend more time with Paul. I had found myself thinking about him pretty consistently since I left his house, and I was happy that I'd be seeing more of him. 

 When we returned to his house, I got to see his wife, Lucy, who I had only briefly met at Shadowlane last year. Lucy wasn't feeling well that night, but being the horrible influence on my innocent friends that I am, I somehow managed to keep us up until the early morning chatting. Lucy is one of the coolest people to talk to ever, because she knows about an infinite number of things that I don't know about, mostly lady things, and because she never makes me feel stupid or annoying when I have to ask a hundred and fifty questions about something. Additionally, she's extremely kind, and I knew as soon as we finally got to sit down and socialize a bit that I really, really liked her and enjoyed being around her.

It's hard for me to pinpoint the details of the time that I spent at their house and put it all in order. As before, I felt very relaxed and at ease while there, and the environment made me feel really free to be myself. Paul and I got to scene together pretty regularly, as well as just spending normal time together, and I found myself feeling very affectionate towards him-- I think I spent the majority of the free time that I had while I was at their house cuddled up to him on the sofa. While it didn't feel much of anything like the other D/s relationships that I've had, at one point or another I realized that I felt very submissive towards him, in a way that made me feel tremendously safe. Some kind of buffer of safety and comfort built up around me as we spent time together, and even though we're away from each other now, it's never gone away. In certain ways I felt tremendously shy about it, but I was slowly realizing that this feeling was greater than just affection, or caring or any other words that I might use to describe it aside from love (spoiler alert, we're in a relationship now). But I didn't entirely come to this conclusion until after I had returned home. At the moment, it was just a very happy time, in a place and with people that made me feel very contented.

One day near the beginning of this particular chapter of my never-ending adventure, Paul took me into London for what was kind of originally meant to be a variety of tourism events including hanging out at Camden Lock and shopping, but which turned into exclusively that, because I was so enthralled by it. It was cold and kind of constantly rainy, but I just loved walking around and checking out everything. If you don't know, it's an area that's full of kind of alternative stores and vendors and it's by the waterfront. I obtained several adorable things here, including a couple of excessively cute bunny related things and my very own prefect badge, which is something I've always wanted. In a vintage store, I found and got to try on some actual school uniform blazers (the fancy type) but none of them actually fit me, largely because they were all designed for boys of various ages. It was still super cool to wear, and I hope that some day I actually can find a real, legitimate one that fits me properly.

I have this bunny shirt now. Also, this photo was taken at 13:37. Hawt.

Shortly after this, a series of events that I now refer to as The Camden Pancake Incident took place. During this incident, Paul got me a pancake from a street vendor. This was basically a sweet crepe, and, for Angelinos, it was served sort of similarly to the ones that I used to get at Four Leaf: folded up on itself in a paper cone. I got it nutella, strawberries and whipped cream, which was basically the best combination of things I could think of, and it was hot when it was handed to me, which pleased me greatly due to my constant state of being kind of cold in England. "Don't make a mess," Paul warned me as I started to eat it, and I kind of responded with "Yeah, of course, obviously" or something.

I then proceeded to make a bigger mess than I have ever made in my entire adult life.

Because the pancake was hot, all the nutella and whipped cream melted together into some sort of drippy, creamy, chocolatey goo that got everywhere. It got all over my coat. It got all over my dress. It got all over my socks and shoes. It dripped in a trail behind me. It got into my hair. I probably got it on Paul. It was just impressively messy. I tried to clean as much of it up with napkins as possible, but that had limited success. I was just a sticky mess for the rest of the day. Later, when we got back to the house and I changed to go to bed, I discovered that I had somehow gotten it on my skin under my dress and on my underwear, which doesn't even seem to follow the laws of physics to me.

Sigh. I'm an adult, I promise.

That evening, we went to a bar where I got to meet Leia-Ann Woods for the first time. She was really peppy and very entertaining to talk to, and I was excited that we'd be getting to see each other again at Boardwalk Badness Weekend the next month. On every occasion that we've been together, I've failed to take a photo. F - -.

That evening ended in a lovely way, as Paul and I went to dinner, and then took the train back to his town (on which I was very sleepy). The adventure finished with taking a midnight ferry ride, which was theoretically really enticing to me, but ended up being super cold. Fortunately, Paul took me upstairs to a giant heat vent, which I stood under and filled my happiness meter.

That weekend, we filmed for Northern Spanking. I often go thru and give a long play-by-play which describes the scenes that were filmed during a shoot, but this particular one is under-wraps. I'll just say the following things:

* Besides me and Paul, the films involves Stephen Lewis, Michael Stamp and Zoe Page. There's something incredibly, indulgently enjoyable about having four tops all to oneself.

* At one point, I wore this fancy outfit, courtesy of Lucy, who besides being amazing herself has all the most amazing stuff to wear ever:

* While we were planning out one of the scenes, Paul sat in this tiny chair, and I think this is the most endearing photo ever.

* Zoe dressed up as a cat and I somehow still managed to take her somewhat seriously.

* It became obvious to everyone that I don't really know my left from my right particularly well and that I'm horrible at singing.

* Some parts of this were ridiculous.


The final adventure that I shall detail in this post involves Primark. I don't think most people in the US know what Primark is, unless they've been around me recently and have asked me where I bought something I was wearing. Primark is a stylish ("fashion forward" I think is the term) but inexpensive store in England. A lot of the styles that they had were very "me." They had an enormous selection of underwear and pajamas.

I bought all the things.

So. Many. Things.

I'm almost ashamed to post a photo, because I feel like it makes me look a little awful, but I'm going to anyway.

This was only the first day. I went back. -_-

Lucy and Zoe took me, and they were the best people I've ever shopped with. They were never annoyed at me for spending so much time, and they helped me try things on, and they told me when things did or didn't look good on me, they carried stuff around, they took stuff into the dressing room for me... it was just amazing. Lucy fitted me for bras and I finally got some that looked appropriate on me AND are comfortable. The second trip involved me learning what kind of jeans actually don't make me look stupid, and I've actually taken to wearing them fairly regularly (one of those developments in my personality that some people continue to be flabbergasted by). After the shopping adventure, I tried on literally everything in a fashion show, including every single pair of panties that I bought, which I think numbered at least 50. This whole "Alex bought all the things" event lead to me being kind of annoying to my friends at home when they want to know where I got something, because basically all the clothes I wear now come from this exhibition. This also lead to me promising not to shop for two months after coming back from England, which lead to me consistently getting myself a variety of forms of trouble, but most of that is another story.

There will only be one more post about England after this, and then I will post rather briefly about BBW, and then I have a few more adventures to describe before I am all caught up. PROGRESS! ♥

Derbyshire: Part 2

Before I go on to my next post, I want to address a few things. First of all, I have been pretty busy and frequently out of town, so apologize for the lapses in posting. I've been toying with the idea of putting my UK stories on hold and just writing about BBW, but I've decided to work harder at getting thru each bit the way that it happened. Also, I wrote this entire post while on the plane to New York, but I was unable to save it (since the plane was without Wifi) and ended up losing all my work, so I've been kind of pissed about that and avoiding rewriting. Still, time to move forward!

When I left off, we'd completed our first three videos of the day, and after lunch, we moved on to film a pair of short, straight-forward films on the infinity curve. In case you don't know what an infinity curve is, it's a big, white space with walls that curve in such a way that it looks like you're sort of floating in space and that it goes on forever. I'd actually never worked on a real one before (only a seamless backdrop) so that was kind of neat. The scenes that we shot were both school scenes, and they're very austere, so the background works wonderfully for them. The first scene was a school gym class style scene, which I loved the hell out of. Added to the list of things I didn't know before this trip: you're supposed to wear regular underwear beneath the navy blue gym knickers. This was not what I would have expected, but it was cool with me. Anything that involves more underwear works for me! The panties that I wore underneath were vintage and very delicate. I'd never seen anything like them before, but I liked them right away.

It's hard to see the pattern, but it's pretty :P

Like I said, the scene was very straight-forward. There wasn't really much of any story: just me getting strapped in a very austere setting. This is something that I don't do a lot of in the films that I tend to do in the US: things that are very to-the-point, and that point is me getting whacked. This stripped down nature, plus the fact that the scenes were shot in a dreamy, blank background made it feel like we'd simply stepped into one of my fantasies and I hadn't bothered to make up the rest of the details, so they were left out.
It was awesome.

The next scene that we did was very similar: it was the same setting and same sort of situation, but this time, it was a school scene. While all the school girl stuff is a big fantasy for me, the English version of things has always held a very strong appeal. I got to wear a tie (which I've never gotten to do in an American school film) and I liked that quite a bit:

This is a photo of me being pleased about my tie. 

The scene itself included me being bent over one of the desks from the school set and getting caned and precious little else, and it felt so potent because of that. One of the resulting images from it has become one of my favorite "Alex getting spanked" photos of all time:

It's very much a photographic representation of that part of my kink. This was also the first time I had ever been caned in England: the first time I visited I was spanked plenty of times and hit with various objects, but I never got the cane. This event pleased me quite a bit: it just seems like something "right" to go to England and get beaten with a cane, like that's something that every spanko bottom should get to do at least once in their lives. I'm also pleased that Paul was the person who gave me my first caning in England, as he's gone on to become someone very special to me. Fortuitous how that worked out. :)

Once we finished that video, we then went on to shoot photosets, which is one of my favorite things to do. When I was just a consumer of spanking pornography, still photographs were the main thing that I was interested in. They feel artistic and creative, as well as open-ended in a way that lets the mind wander in delightful directions. Because I started out my modeling career simply being photographed, it's also something that I feel more confident doing. We shot several sets, all on the infinity curve, because it was just that cool.

In one set, I got to wear an actual English nurse uniform (although I'm not sure if it's modern or not? I'm somewhat confused on that). It's super different from anything that I've ever seen in the U.S. Usually nurses just wear scrubs around here, and there's nothing attractive about scrubs, at least to me. This involved leggings, though, and they were tight enough that you could see my underwear through them, which makes for a win in my book.

Thank you for spanking me, Mr. Osborne!

In another set, there was more caning, of course, because one can never have enough of that! Zoe had to help me with the "suspender belt" (garter belt) since I'd never really worn one before, but I discovered that I'm actually quite fond of them. Less pulling up stockings, more having something to frame my ass and make it look even rounder!

The next photo comes from a set which was cute and sweet, and which I like a ton. Pink bow + snuggly spankings = happy, contended Alex. Here is a photo to prove it:

Whenever I see any one of these photos, I think "Oh! That one is my favorite!" until I get to the next one, which also becomes my favorite. 

The final set that we did at the end of the first day of filming involves me looking very young and sweet and Paul coming in to be all scary and terrifying. I kept insisting that he was a very bad man for beating such an innocent looking girl as myself. :P

Yeah, having the same problem, because this one is also my favorite.

Once we finished shooting and we got everything cleaned up and packed away for the day, we drove to a small grocery store to get some supplies (read: alcohol) for the evening. Zoe once again demonstrated her very impressive patience when I wanted to get some chocolate but didn't know what any of it was. She walked thru the entire candy aisle explaining things to me and helping me figure out what stuff I would like. She then bought me my first ever Easter Egg. Now, we obviously have Easter chocolate in the US, and we have a lot of candy that is shaped like eggs, but we don't have the exact same thing as they do in England. In England, Easter Eggs are big, foil wrapped chocolate eggs with something interesting inside them, and I guess they're sort of a tradition. Zoe and I got two, and some pink fizz (I think that the name of that is pretty self explanatory, right? Pink sparkling wine) and planned to have a picnic with them in our room later that night.

We then went to a restaurant near our hotel, where I had to take a very long time deliberating over what I wanted to eat again. I'd like to say that I got better at this as my time in England wore on, but I really didn't. Even once I knew what I liked to eat, I still had to think about it for far longer than I should have. Dinner was very enjoyable, though. It mostly involved Paul, John, Zoe, the cameraman and I chatting about all sorts of industry related topics, including a lot of the history of the various sites that film in England. We stayed there for a long time, and I felt relaxed and happy. At one point, Zoe and I went to the restroom (in a pair, as girls do) and when she turned on the sink to wash her hands, she sprayed water all over herself. She then attempted to dry the front of her jeans using a hand dryer. I took a photo of this, because this is the kind of stuff that I absolutely dig about Zoe. She's goofy and ridiculous and I simply cannot get enough of her.

After we finished at the restaurant, we walked over to a pub and had a few drinks. I will not say anything about anyone else (although John was pretty open on his blog about the fact that he his fair share to drink) but I was very responsible. It was also just a very nice time. I find going out for drinks in England to be more fun than it is in the US, but that may be because I live in South Dakota, where nothing is particularly exciting.

Once last call had been completed, we all wandered back to the hotel, where Zoe and I went on to eat chocolate and drink wine the pink fizz before falling asleep.

Morning came, of course, far earlier than I would have liked it to. Mornings are a real problem for me. I'm just not cut out for them. Sleeping until 1:00 makes me happiest. This is obviously by no means practical in any part of adult society, so I adapt and deal with it. But when Zoe's alarm went off to summon us to breakfast, we unanimously decided to text the guys and let them know that we were going to sleep in. Besides, I didn't want to see Breakfast Lady again, anyway.

Sleep vs. Getting Scolded. I wonder what wins?!

Eventually, we did get up and get ourselves put together, then we packed up the rest of our things. I had literally all of my luggage with me, so I had quite a few things to pack, since I have this tendency to kind of dig through my suitcase in search of something and end up throwing things everywhere (see also: my hotel room at every spanking party I've ever attended). When we did come downstairs, though, Breakfast Lady managed to give me a disapproving look. Apparently she had made some comments about my lack of breakfast consumption to John and Paul earlier. Her life must not be very exciting.

We then returned to the cold... I mean, to the studio, where we began my fourth consecutive day of shooting, this time for Triple A. The day began on the infinity curve again, with a sort of straight forward, introductory spanking.

Fun fact: that t-shirt is the one that I was wearing the very first time I got spanked, when I was eighteen. Nostalgia central!

It was a pretty nice spanking, and a good way to warm up for the day, so I was pretty pleased with it. When that was filmed, we moved on to start shooting some POV scenes for John's new site: POV Spanking. This stuff was a little bit more challenging to shoot, as it felt very unnatural to me. The idea of POV (point-of-view) is that it appears like the person watching the film is seeing what he would actually be seeing where he the one giving the spanking. This makes for a lot of non-traditional filming. I had to talk directly to the camera without hearing any lines back, and that just felt very awkward and difficult for me to time. I've been told that I did a pretty good job, though, so I hope that's the case. We shot a number of these scenes, experimenting with different positions and implements, as well as filming styles. I urge you all to go check out the clips if that's something that you're interested in. :)

It's getting late, so I'll continue this story in the next post.
I've covered an entire day! Winner! :P

Derbyshire: Part 1

When I last left off in the tale of my adventures overseas, I'd just been picked up at the airport upon my return to England from a brief stay in Holland. I'd been greeted by Paul Kennedy (of Northern Spanking) and Zoe Page (who is a different person than "Zoey" who has been mentioned in a few older posts). The three of us were going to go by car up to Derbyshire, where we were going to meet John Osborne and do two days of shooting: one for Northern and one for Triple A. It turns out that Zoe had been feeling sick earlier that day, but had gotten enough rest to feel up to coming along despite that. This was the first time that I'd ever really gotten to ride in a car in England, and I found that kind of excessively exciting. I was very aware of how different certain things were. I was pretty fascinated by this stuff, but I also tried to keep this at least somewhat under wraps: I didn't want to be "that girl" who comes to a foreign country and marvels at every dumb little thing and annoys everyone around her. Still, I liked riding in the seat where I'm usually driving (they let me sit in the front ^_^) and noticing the different wording on signs and such things. I was particularly amused by a series of signs that listed the cities we were driving towards and included "THE NORTH." I can't exactly tell you why this made me giggle a lot, but it did. 

We stopped at the first service area that we found to get something to eat, since I was pretty starved. I there encountered a minor problem: I didn't know what the fuck most of the stuff on the menu was. I was a matter of things having different names combined with not being sure how similar food items would be to what I was used to. This lead to me asking about eighty questions, throughout which Paul and Zoe were surprisingly patient. I had originally been slightly intimidated by Zoe, since I had seen her be pretty terrifying on film before meeting her. I was glad to see that in real life, she was sweet and awesome, and my rival at being a goofball. We related on a few things and giggled quite a bit. Then we got ice cream, which is instant happiness for me. I was pretty happy with my life, and instead of feeling worried like I had upon my first arrival, I felt excited about whatever adventures were in store for me. 

After dinner, we got back in the car and drove the rest of the way there. I discovered that I'm not fond of the roundabouts system: it makes me a little bit queasy. The ride didn't seem too long to me, probably because I was very contented, even though I was much quieter than I usually am because I was still adapting to my surroundings. Eventually we arrived at the hotel where we would be staying for the next two nights: it was a small and quaint bed and breakfast. The caretaker greeted us and showed us to our rooms and then asked us some questions about breakfast. I basically just agreed to everything that she said, because I didn't actually know what a "full" breakfast entailed and I didn't want to look ignorant. Then we went up to get settled. Zoe and I were sharing a room, and I thought it was super cute, even though it was a bit cold. 

Zoe in our quaint little room :)

They had left us a tea set which I found excessively adorable: 

In case you cannot tell from my lousy photo, the mugs have cats on them.

We then went to meet John and chat in the other room. We talked about the studio where we'd be shooting, looked at some content that John had shot there previously on his computer and just chatted a bit while we had a glass of wine. I was wearing my bunny pajamas, which Paul pretty instantly decided he wanted to use for a film that we'd be doing the next day. This pleased me greatly, because I'm a little obsessed with my bunny pajamas. Eventually I got tired and Zoe and I retired to bed. 

The next morning we got up and packed our things for the day, then met the guys downstairs for breakfast. We were a little bit late. That's what happens with girls (read: Alex) in the mornings sometimes. :/ The woman who ran the B+B (who from this morning on was referred to as "breakfast lady") brought out our plates. The plate was filled with stuff that I wasn't really expecting. I ate all my meat and some toast, and then sort of picked at the rest of the stuff. Eating beans at breakfast wasn't really all that appealing to me. There was a big pile of mushrooms on the plate, and I'm super-deadly-allergic to mushrooms, so I refused to eat anything they had touched out of fear of going into anaphylactic shock, which is generally not how I like to start my day. And since I hadn't asked for anything otherwise during the conversation with breakfast lady where I agreed a lot, my eggs were served with uncooked yolks. I know that this is simply me being fussy, but I just won't eat eggs that aren't totally and entirely cooked. I'm tremendously stubborn, because I think they're gross. Serious_Face once refused to let me get up from his table until I'd at least tried one, and I sat there petulantly for three hours until he gave up and beat me instead (still better than the eggs). Fortunately, no one at this table wanted to waste the entire morning watching me not eat, so we told breakfast lady that we were finished. She was not pleased with me, and gave me lots of dirty looks for not eating her breakfast. We all found this infinitely entertaining. After a quick visit with the fat, hotel cat named Monty and a brief incident in which John hit a trashcan with his car while trying to backup, we were on our way to the studio. 

Once we arrived and unloaded at the studio, I became aware of it's primary feature: it was cold. I don't like to be cold. (Question: why do you live in South Dakota, then? Answer: have you seen how many things that I don't like but do?) Fortunately, Zoe was basically the best ever and made me tea approximately every 20 minutes to keep me warm. 

Once set up and makeup were completed, we got to filming the first scene. It was between me and Zoe and filmed on a stable set that included several bales of hay. This hay got everywhere, and it's actually STILL in my hairbrush, but it looked awesome and was kind of fun to romp around in. 

Filming with Zoe was interesting because most of the scenarios we were involved in were written so that we were peers and Zoe's character wasn't so much of an authority figure over me as she was just a bully. This was a fun and refreshing change of pace for me. Also, Zoe is really hot. And she's very creative within a scene: I was immediately taken aback by how quickly she came up with ideas of new directions in which to take her bullying and bossing. Plus, she was great at spanking. This scene was actually my first riding crop scene (I'm pretty sure, anyway, and certainly my first on film) and I liked it quite a bit: stingy and whippy without feeling like any other implement, in particular. 

The second scene that we did was similar in terms of character relationships: Zoe's character was kind of an awful bitch and I was a goody-goody and a bit of a nerd. That obviously worked well for me, because that's sort of me in real life :P. This was set in a school room, which made me very happy indeed. 

The desks in the school set were covered in graffiti  which kind of fascinated me, especially because a lot of it had slang on it which I didn't recognize. I then got a vocabulary lesson on various ways to call people a slut in England. I also couldn't help but add to the vandalism a little bit: 

Add that to the list of "bad things that I did and got away with!" 

And I added a little love for my bestie: 

Our third scene was a very traditional and straight forward, bedtime punishment scene that Paul did with me. There isn't actually anything that unique about it, but it's probably my favorite scene that we shot that weekend (honestly, it's probably among my favorite scenes I've done on film). This is because it appeals to a lot of things at the center of my kink. My character was genuinely a good girl, but she was clearly quite far out of line this time and had gotten herself into big trouble. There was a domestic setting and the inclusion of my cute pajamas, which are both good things in my book. The spanking was primarily OTK while on a bed, which is my personal favorite spanking position, and the more severe stuff which followed was given with me lying over pillows, which is a very familiar position for me, and one that I find very emotionally comfortable. And I got hit on my thighs.

I stole this photo from John's blog, because it's awesome. 

All of this plus Paul's attitude in the scene fostered a lot of vulnerability in me, and I just dove into it. I let myself get really worked up and I either cried a little or came very close to it (I don't remember now). When it was finished, I felt very genuinely cozy. 

I'm possibly smiling more than I was supposed to be. :P

I know that I'm only half way thru a day of shooting, but I'm going to stop here and continue on in the next post, because I have approximately 87 things I need to do before I leave for BBW. So. Many. Adventures. 

More posting soon! ♥

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New Work

Hi, everyone!
Today, I shot for Real Spankings again and had an amazing time. There's a longer post about that coming tomorrow (I know it actually is, because I wrote it tonight and scheduled it. Ha!)

Before I share that, though, I wanted to let you all know that my first set of images was released on Northern Spanking. I had a wonderful time working with them at Shadowlane, and I'm looking forward to doing so again when I visit the UK in March.

I'm really fond of the way that this set turned out. It's a photo-story between me and Stephen Lewis, and I think that images really capture a lot of the feelings that I often have associated with spankings.

Here are my favorites from the set:

Please head over to Northern Spanking to check out the rest of the set, and for more forthcoming scenes.
I hope everyone is having a great week. :)